<p>I've become less humble and less mature.</p>
<p>
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Do you still remember what you were like when you were little?
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<p>I was a lot smaller.</p>
<p>I was very very arrogant and proud throughout elementary school. I lost some of that in middle school because I used to get my butt kicked at sports by some people. By 8 grade I was also a lot less shy and much more outgoing. 9th grade I made some friends lol and now while I still am really cocky I don't talk about my awesomeness anymore. I've also become extremely lazy in high school. And my competitiveness. And I joke around a lot and try to be really friendly</p>
<p>I was shy, not lazy in elementary, my mom said my hand writing was actually neat(I'm a guy)
Of course, they all decreased in middle school, and in high school, I'm really lazy, more outgoing, and my hand writing is chicken scrap.</p>
<p>Quote:
armageddon, i'm proud of you, you've really made yourself a better person over the years</p>
<p>That depends on how much of a vice you think arrogance is.</p>
<p>I went to a gifted program in 4th and 5th grade and since then, I've made friends who I still hold on to today.</p>
<p>I'm not sure how it affected me. I think our class was made fun of a lot for being the Nerd Class (It was a conglomerate of 30 students from around the district placed at one of the elementary schools), but we held our heads up high and were glad we found other people who had interests in chess, card games, and etc. </p>
<p>It may have added some arrogance isolating ourselves from the others, but I know plenty of people who DEFINITELY did not turn out arrogant. They're still some of the nicest people I've met till this day.</p>
<p>@ Keshira -- I agree that being with gifted people does humble you. Part of probably what humbled me over the years was finding out people who were better than me in math, science, PE, etc.... lol</p>
<p>I still think I'm smart. Heck, going to college and being around other smart people has only made me think I'm smarter because I get better grades than them. But I think what humbled me was finding out intelligence and good grades aren't that important. Now I base my self-esteem on things like compassion, being a good person, doing things to help - which I'm not necessarily better at than anyone else. I always have more to learn when it comes to being a good human being.</p>
<p>Smartness is just something that makes me different, like my hair color or how tall I am. It doesn't make me a better person.</p>
<p>I was a smart a$$, very conservative, very Catholic, very smart, and at 12, a pothead. </p>
<p>Now I'm 18, still a smart a$$, but very liberal, not Catholic, still somewhat smart, but lazy, and clean and sober :).</p>
<p>I don't remember much about anything. I'll group things by grade. I originally formatted this post in backwards order, but it didn't make much sense, so I'm gonna rewrite it forwards. </p>
<p>Pre-school: I was a bit of a wreck. I was a trouble-maker, but for some reason I was considered notably intelligent (how do you judge a pre-schooler's intelligence?), and I got a lot of attention from parents and pre-school teachers for this combination of factors. I think I behaved really strangely, but I'm not sure exactly what I did. I was referred for a psychological evaluation at age five. My mom recently found and emailed me the report. Here are some amusing excerpts:
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[Poseur] has a history of behavior problems at preschool, including excessive jealousy in her friendships and aggressive behavior. She seems to shift from pleasant, appropriate behavior to aggressive, inappropriate behavior very quickly . . . There has also been concern about [Poseur]'s preoccupation with death, blood, dismemberment, and injuries to self and others. The classroom teacher remarks that at times [Poseur] can become "totally irrational and demanding" of friends' attention.
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A hypervigilant style that involves the use of considerable energy to maintain a relatively continuous state of preparedness is evident . . . This hypervigilant style is an anticipatory state which has its origins in a mistrusting attitude toward her world. Children such as this . . . do not sustain close relations unless they feel in control of the interactions . . . Finally, there is strong evidence that [Poseur] may misinterpret and distort her experience more than most children. She tends to overpersonalize when translating her experiences and this leaves her at risk for unconventional behavior.
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There is evidence that [Poseur] has a negative, very angry attitude toward her world. This may create relational difficulties for her and she may be less tolerant of the routine compromises usually required in social interaction.
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Projective testing reveals the presence of significant depressive affect, anxiety, low self-esteem, and compromised interpersonal functioning . . . It is likely that [Poseur]'s significant depression and anxiety are contributing to her weak auditory attention . . . A medication consultation is strongly recommended to determine if psychopharmacologic intervention may be helpful in terms of focusing her attention and stabilizing her mood. Additionally, ongoing psychotherapy is suggested to address depression, improve self-esteem, to facilitate [Poseur]'s understanding of her emotional life, and improve coping skills.
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Most of this stuff is just BS that applies to nearly anyone. (Psychology: the science of making general things sound specific. JUST KIDDING; DON'T HURT ME, FUTURE PSYCHOLOGISTS!) Nothing really exceptional or noteworthy. But it's kinda funny how some of these things have carried over and still apply. (Lolz, they also said I had attention problems b/c of my combination of high IQ score and 25th percentile auditory attention score. I HAVE AN EXCUSE FOR MY UTTER FAILURE AT CONCENTRATING ON ANYTHING!)</p>
<p>Kindergarten; grades 1, 2, & 3: This was a very carefree stage in my life, from what I can remember. I didn't care what other people thought of me; I interacted with others happily. I was really only aware of myself -- but in a good way. Like all kids should be.</p>
<p>Grades 4 & 5: My self-esteem problem reared its ugly head again sometime in the stage. I was diagnosed with OCD and had to see a psychologist for a few months to deal with it. (Just like last time, it's not that there was anything really wrong with me -- I wish I were that interesting! -- but you know how white parents are. "MY CHILD IS HAVING MODERATE DIFFICULTIES IN SOME ASPECT OF LIFE; I WILL SIGN HIM/HER UP FOR COUNSELING!") But besides that, I was pretty carefree. I was in the gifted classes and aware of it, but as far as I remember, unlike most of y'all who have posted so far, I wasn't proud or vain when it came to my skills. I was matter-of-fact about it. "I'm in the gifted classes, which means I'm smart. I'm a talented artist; I know this because everyone tells me so when I draw things." But I didn't compare myself to anyone or consider myself superior, as far as I can recall. </p>
<p>Grades 6, 7, 8: Throughout most of middle school, I was in an "angsty" stage. I wore lots of eyeliner and black clothes and wrote emo poetry. (Srsly.) I had lots of friends, thankfully, but annoyed them periodically with my (very vocalized) lack of self-esteem. I was angry at the world. When it comes to this stage in my life, my psychological evaluation from age five applies to a tee. Oh, and if I ever was proud when it came to my strengths, it was in this stage. I was probably like, "GOD I'M SO INTELLIGENT BUT THE WORLD DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ME RARARAA~"</p>
<p>Grades 9 & 10: I got over the angsty thing and began to find out who I really am. For these two years, I was fairly boring. I didn't do anything out of the ordinary. I began to care more about academics, as I had to try a little bit to maintain my 4.0. Nothing about my personality in this stage of my life stands out as interesting or noteworthy, though. I had my first serious relationship and started to grow into my sexual/romantic self a bit. I suppose I was still a bit vain about my strengths. </p>
<p>Grades 11 & 12: Right now, I'm comfortable with who I am and who I'm becoming. My second serious relationship just ended, and I learned a lot about my not-so-favorable traits. There's definitely room for improvement, but that's part of what I like -- the fact that I'm gonna improve; I'm gonna become a better me. "Better" as in "closer to what I admire in others and thus strive to be"; not "better" as in "closer to what others want me to be," of course. When it comes to vanity: sure, sometimes I slip into the trap of wanting to be recognized for my skills. But most of the time I'm just like, "Hey, I'm good at some things and bad at some things. Some people are better at the things I'm good at, and some people are worse at the things I'm bad at. Cool. I know where I stand, and I'm proud of my strengths." I'm very optimistic about the future.</p>
<p>One thing I've noticed while writing this is that, at any given point in my life, my comfort with myself is somewhat dependent on others. (For example, I am generally happiest with myself when I'm in a relationship.) I know that it's a bad idea to base my self-worth upon the opinions of others, but... I sort of see others' opinions as "stepping stones." When I'm very comfortable with myself because one person can see the good in me, I become able to see this good, myself. So even when this person is no longer relevant, my self-image has been improved. And the way I feel right now is that I'm reaching a point (thanks to others!) at which I can maintain a positive self image by myself, no matter what my surroundings. And that, I guess, is my ultimate goal, when it comes to my perception of self. </p>
<p>WOW I TYPE A LOT WHEN I'M PROCRASTINATING MAJOR HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTS. I HOPE NO ONE ACTUALLY READS THIS; I AM NOT A VERY INTERESTING PERSON.</p>
<p>Wow, Poseur. Wow...</p>
<p>^^lol you're very interesting</p>
<p>@ romani: I'm an excellent typist; this only took a few minutes. (:</p>
<p>@ fizix2: IMO, everyone, even the most unexceptional person, is somewhat interesting when introspective. So if I were someone else, I'd have found the post interesting. But I don't think most people are like me in that respect. >__></p>
<p>someone once said everyone has a story that will make you cry</p>
<p>i think that's true</p>
<p>but your story made me laugh which is just as good. or maybe it was just the way you told it</p>
<p>Kudos then Poseur! =]</p>
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I think gifted programs humble people. Because you're around more extraodinary people, and therefore feel much less extraodinary yourself.
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<p>That's not always the case. At my middle school the people in gifted classes were treated as though they were incredibly smart. The funny thing is that many in the class were just the wealthy kids from nearby (as opposed to those that were bussed in) and weren't particularly intelligent. Being significantly smarter than the supposed "best and brightest" is a huge ego boost.</p>
<p>I was always the most quiet person. That lasted maybe from birth to 10th grade. </p>
<p>I remember when I was 3 or 4, I went behind the fridge or hide under the bed whenever someone come and visit my house. I would stay there until that person leaves. </p>
<p>Then in elementary school, I used to just sit in a corner and watch the whole class. And I probably say 1 or 2 sentences the whole day. The funny thing was that I had a teacher who hated me, and called my mom one day because I 'talk in class too much". My mom was just like "Uh, that's ridiculous."</p>
<p>For some reason, I changed in 10th grade. Not that I'm hyper in class and joins every single discussion, but people who met me from 10th grade or later have never thought of me as "quiet" anymore. And people who knew me from a long time ago actually asked me what happened to me because I now talk.</p>
<p>From reading some of the other posts, I just thought I should add this: I was not in any honors/gifted classes until high school. This has probably results in my moderately low self-esteem because I felt that I just not smart or not good as this other group of "talented" kids. Also, when I was in the first day of elementary school, this teacher told me that I suck at math. How can someone judge a 6 yrs old kid that fast? I don't know.</p>
<p>my life has been a blur or rather the same things happening over and over again, amazingly i learned new things. Uptil 4th grade i remember myself and right now i'm the complete opposite and in a way i'm happy because now i know how many different people the world has.</p>
<p>I probably changed the most out of anyone I know since when I was young. I was so naive and ignorant of the values of life at the time. Yes, I was probably smartest person in the grade on paper, but maturity/intuitively younger. I actually used to get a good amount of detentions/get in trouble a lot. Now, I am one of the friendliest people I know, and people will often come to me for help with depression, etc. It just takes some time for your true self to reveal. Yes, I have retained much of my work ethic and desire to be unique from my younger years, but I am not the person of old. I have changed for the better (at least in my opinion).</p>
<p>I was hyperactive and I easily became obsessed with fads (pokemon/yu-gi-oh)</p>
<p>I still kinda am.</p>
<p>
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There has also been concern about [Poseur]'s preoccupation with death, blood, dismemberment, and injuries to self and others.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Wow.
I can say honestly that you are a very interesting person. hehe :) </p>
<p>Everyone has a fuzzy "now I have found myself" description of their current selves-- it makes me wonder, because I have one too. Are we going to look back and be like "I can't believe I didn't realize how messed up I still was," or do people just become well adjusted near the end of high school as a rule?</p>