<p>Elite colleges like to see students take advantage of the opportunities available to them. They don’t like students to “take it easy” and do nothing. Your D will have an alumni interview at some point if she applies to Ivies, and one of their first questions will be, “What did you do over the summer?” Even if she spends only 15 hours a week doing something meaningful, she’ll be able to converse about it.</p>
<p>But as others point out, her summer activities should not be chosen to pad her college application. Elite colleges accept kids who naturally want to get out and do something with their lives, even at this young age, and summer and academic year ECs begin to define this for the Ad Com. Could she get in without these activities? Maybe. Will she be rejected even if she does them? Maybe. </p>
<p>Others have suggested that you tell us her interests so that we may provide some suggestions so that she can enjoy her summer doing stuff she likes to do. </p>
<p>And maybe, just maybe, your daughter thinks she wants to go to HYPMS but doesn’t have the competitive personality to get there. If that’s the case, it is no reflection on her intelligence or potential. She may be better off at a slightly less competitive (but still academically top-rate) school.</p>
<p>It wasn’t until I found CC seven years ago when my oldest child was going to be a junior in HS, that I learned of this concept of “what ECs should I do to get into college?” or “how should I spend my summer so it looks good on my college application?” I just can’t imagine really doing either of those things. However, my own kids were extremely busy afternoon, night, and weekends every year pursuing their beloved activities. They wanted to do these activities so much and college had nothing to do with it. Had they never gone to college, they would have done these exact same activities. Same with their summers. We never sat around and talked about what they should do for the summer in relation to college. Ever. But again, their summers were chockfull because they wanted them to be. And honestly, that is the kind of kids they ran into at their selective colleges. Kids who were very involved in their areas of passion. My girls’ areas of passion that they did in summers continue to this day (both are now college graduates). Their summer activities were not chosen to get into college but were completely chosen because they were dying to do them. Again, none of these were academic in nature either. </p>
<p>I agree with Momwaitingfornew, about college interviews. I have been interviewing candidates for a very selective university for over ten years and indeed, in the interview, I do ask how they have spent their summers. I don’t care WHAT they did, as long as they were not hanging out. In fact, a job to earn money was a good thing. Being a counselor at a camp. Going on a big trip (unrelated to their parents). Volunteering. Internships. Camps for their interest area (sports, music, drama, dance, computers, etc.) The “what” is not important. Nobody should sit around and be asking what a kid should do for their summer for “college prep”. In fact, a kid should be telling a parent what he/she wants to do because well, he/she really wants to do that and the parent can help facilitate as needed. If a kid wants to do nothing all summer, that should be allowed but frankly, that kid is not really the type of kid that some elite colleges tend to seek as there are lots of kids out there who are internally driven to pursue some interests or some jobs and to have some sort of meaningful experience out of the sheer desire to do so. It is not about “playing the game.” Nobody should play the game when it comes to summer activities. But a kid who is looking at highly selective colleges USUALLY is a kid who wants to be spending their summer doing something, or at least part of the summer, and not in order to get into college but because they have things they just really want to do. </p>
<p>For the OP, I’d find out what your D really wants to do. Does she just want to hang out or has she not explored the possibilities of what she could do that she may be keenly interested in doing? My own kids told us what they wanted to do. We simply paid for it. If your D has NO interests that she is coming to ask to do for the summer, perhaps she can then do some sort of job to earn money (which is a good thing for herself to experience, let alone colleges do look kindly upon kids who have held jobs). Can she offer a service? I don’t say any of this to “play the game” for college admissions, but more that your D spends some of her time doing something worthwhile or meaningful for HERSELF. It may mean just a few hours per week or it may mean a few weeks of the summer, or the whole summer.</p>
<p>If she is asked what she did during her summer, she has an answer – she went abroad to a sport and foreign language camp, and then did some traveling with her family.</p>
<p>I just don’t think that the summer activities make or break a college application. If a kid does something really interesting over the summer and ends up writing a wonderful essay about it, or gets a great recommendation, then that can help. </p>
<p>We are putting our kids into this pressure cooker environment and constantly raising the heat level. Some of these kids get to college and do a 180 and collapse. Some get eating disorders. In a few years, this kid will be like the rest of us and work all but 2 weeks a year. If she has an opportunity to relax for a few weeks this summer and be a kid, let her do it. Let her sleep late, read some good books, sight see in her own city, etc.</p>
<p>Fireandrain – I agree that the pressure-cooker environment of getting into top colleges is not good for teens. Unfortunately, however, it exists – and it has become essential to getting into an elite college. </p>
<p>I don’t like that the elite universities no longer accept late-bloomers or those who haven’t scheduled their lives to the max; they miss out on students who might pass their more initially-accomplished peers. But with the sheer number of applications, elite universities cannot do anything else because they are already faced with X number of save-the-world types and Y-number of national honor types and Z-number of students who have worked in labs, etc. They accept the highest academically accomplished individuals who also have interesting personal lives. How can a child with the same academic grades and score who has gone on a single missionary trip compete with one who has started her own charity, earned varsity letters in three different sports, attended a summer research program, taught English as a Second Language, AND done a missionary trip? Yes, it’s sad, but it’s also reality. (Note: I’m not saying that the OP’s D has only done a missionary trip – I’m just using that part as an example.)</p>
<p>As Soozie points out, however, these elite applicants usually (but not always!) want to do these things. They are type As, through and through. If they stop, they will be bored. </p>
<p>To the OP: Your daughter sounds burned out. Encourage her to find something to do other than hanging out. This is for her sanity and yours; after a couple of weeks, you’ll be at each other. And definitely do some road trips to visit colleges.</p>
<p>Bless you all. I’m reminded of the obvious disadvantage of online discussion: unless I write a book-length post, I often find some replies are based on insufficient info or some miscommunication. But there’s much here to be shared with DD, and a lot of which I’ve already told myself/her over and over. Thank you. I’ll post more ASAP.</p>
<p>There are Intel STS finalists who don’t get into Ivies. Let your D shoot for the stars, but make sure her feet are firmly planted on the ground.</p>
<p>I have to agree with fireandrain and IloveLA and others to not get caught up in the craziness. My bet is that your dd’s schedule during the school year is an academic and extracurricular whirlwind, and that she needs to take a breath. Wow. She’s human. And she’s not wanting to sit around this summer- she’s attending a sport/language camp for two weeks, which sounds fun yet also academic/extracurricular related- not the same as down time.
I disagree that the HYPMS schools are only looking for kids who are so driven that they need to be doing something “productive” every week of the year. You’ll find all kinds of students in these colleges- some who are the type A busy bees as well as the more intellectual dreamers who might be quietly solving the problems of the world in their heads or writing a novel in their ever active imaginations. Fortunately, it takes all kinds to balance a class in the eyes of the adcoms.
The one thing in your post that I wanted to comment on- the reason I’m posting at all, because others have already said what I have, is this comment:</p>
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<p>I think your dd should get some kind of job, just to get over this lack of confidence. Of course she can handle a job, and knowing that she can will boost her self esteem and give her the maturity that will help her handle her future challenges.<br>
My DD graduated summa cum laude from HYP not too long ago but had never worked for pay before college. I had no idea how important to her growth and self confidence working would be until the summer after college graduation when she became employed for the first time. It was then that she really felt she could accomplish great things. The confidence she gained from this, simply because she had been intimidated by it for some reason,( even though her volunteer work through the years was far more difficult by most standards) was truly amazing to me and my DH.
This summer may not be the summer to get a job–maybe your girl should follow her plans- attend her camp, work on her essays and travel with mom and refresh her soul, but she could plan to work next year before she starts college. She might work for a tutoring company, or find something related to one of her interests, or even just serve ice cream at Cold Stone— but my feeling is that without overcoming this “fear”, she may not feel as good about herself and what she does accomplish in college as she has a right to in the coming years.</p>
<p>Adcoms are looking at applications to see who kids are. One even told me that an application that looks like the kid’s activities were designed specifically to get her into a great college does not go in to the automatic “Yes” stack. She looks for signs of kids who have made their own choices and will be capable of doing that in college, and a packed schedule is a big warning flag.</p>
<p>I agree with cronie about the issue of the OP’s daughter experiencing a job given the comments she made and her fears about that. Both my girls worked at paying jobs prior to college and in summers during college and I think this is a good thing for its own sake (nothing to do with admissions). </p>
<p>Indiana, I would not go as far as saying “a packed schedule is a big warning flag.” I would agree that activities designed to get into college are not a good thing but a packed schedule CAN be due to kids who have “made their own choices” and are busy doing things they seek and love to do for its own sake (not for admissions). My children’s lives are packed. They CHOOSE that. They WANT that. There are things they want to do. They are rarely doing “nothing.” It has nothing to do with admissions into anything. So, a packed schedule need not signify a “warning” or be a negative. One has to look at what drives a person. Passionate people and driven types often lead busy lives out of choice. Even IN college, my kids’ lives/schedules were jam packed and they were not trying to get into something but this is just who they are.</p>
<p>neither of my kids spent summers ever- doing anything academic. ( except what they did on their own- reading and maybe writing- their schools did require an essay to be turned in at end of summer)
That is taken care of during the school year.
However, they did do volunteer work/jobs which prepared them to get better positions when they turned 18.</p>
<p>Both were accepted to all the schools they applied- admittedly not HYSP, but very good schools.</p>
<p>( I would have loved to have taken a road trip- but both my kids were camp staff and they were booked from when school let out to Labor Day.)</p>
<p>You’re right of course, soozie that for some kids the packed schedule is what they want and they are naturally driven to find avenues to express their own interests and talents. There are tons of kids at the top schools who are like yours who leave very busy lives and are happiest doing so.
But… I just wanted to express my view that you don’t have to be this kind of person to succeed at the top schools, either in admissions or once you’re there. The belief by some kids that they need to use every week of the year to show how passionate and active they are to colleges leads to some of the serious emotional problems that we’ve been seeing in young people. They can afford to take some down time, and it’s important to do it IF it’s what you want and need to do. I don’t believe you will be “punished” in admissions because of it. Sometimes the insight gained about oneself during down time can lead to better outcomes all around.</p>
<p>You daughter is very young, also, many rising seniors are 17 or even 18 these days. If you feel the need to fill her summer for her, then I would also think age appropriate. I’m a huge proponent of a part-time job if the kid is ready or is talking about a job on any level. Even if the kid is “afraid” of the rejections or “afraid” they won’t perform. This is especially good for kids who never fail…getting yelled at by the ice cream scooper manager is a good learning situation for kids that have never failed at anything. Also if she is asking you to do some trip visits, then, I would certainly take the time out of your schedule. The time you two spend together “on the road” is an invaluable experience and one I’m guessing you will never regret. There is also a natural maturation process, last summer my #2 was 16 and had just completed sophomore high school He did not want to look for a job and didn’t want to think about college said he just wanted to “chill” out. This year, 17 going to be a senior in the fall and “wants” to work, wants to visit colleges, etc. The maturity of kids can be variable and sometimes has little to do with what grade they are in. Personally I’m not all about the parents micromanaging their kids’ life plans, take cues from the kid and help them fulfill the plan…don’t put the plan together for them, but my kids aren’t striving for the lottery schools either so I’m perhaps not a good one to give “how to get into Harvard this decade advice”.</p>
<p>For several years, there has been an award level called “AP scholar with honor,” and another award level called “national AP scholar,” but I’m not aware of any AP scholar award designated as in the quoted text above. See </p>
<p>I was never a big believer in overscheduling or tons of activities, and my kids did fine getting into their lottery type schools, and succeeding once they got there. Kids can demonstrate their abilities and aptitudes in and out of the classroom in lots of different ways, and it doesn’t need to be via some impressive sounding summer program.</p>
<p>But I think parents today miss the boat on a valuable life lesson by not insisting on work- either paid or volunteer- as the price of living in the household. Every kid deserves a couple of weeks of chill time- reading a book in the backyard, meeting friends for ice cream in the afternoon, taking a long bike ride. But most summer jobs will allow for plenty of down time in addition to work commitments. OP’s D doesn’t need to be pushing a broom for 50 hours a week to learn the value of many things you can’t pick up in a classroom.</p>
<p>So if it were me (and it was-- for many years) I’d support the two week camp trip; I’d support plenty of chill time, and I’d explain that for part of the summer she must either be employed (babysitting, dog walking, folding sweaters at the Gap) or find volunteer work. Although the local economy stinks in my area, the bulletin boards (actual and virtual) are chock a block full of volunteer opportunities for HS kids- all the non-profits have made major cuts but they still need people to get the job done.</p>
<p>So what are her interests? Helping with story time at the local library? Working as a locker room aide to help disabled adults after their swim classes? Distributing magazines and books to patients at the local hospital? Data entry for the blood bank? Animal Shelter? Press Release writer for an environmental group?</p>
<p>Regardless of her college plans- all teenagers need to learn how to show up on time, take orders from a boss, grouse with co-workers about how out of touch management is, not leave until the shift is over or the job is done, etc. Plus all those great interpersonal skills you develop having to deal with the public…</p>
<p>Your D sounds great- just needs the confidence she will get from having a place of employment!</p>
<p>I agree, blossom, except that for some kids, they need actual paid employment to get the full benefit through work. My Dd had volunteer work every year, both during school and summers, but it was only when she received a paycheck that she felt she would actually be able to manage living on her own someday. (and babysitting and working for the neighbors didn’t really count to her for some reason) Real work with a W2 and taxes to be paid - that is an experience that many of our kids need to feel competent in the world.</p>
<p>I vote for some down time during the summer, and do activities that are interesting. My kid is just exhausted, and she really needs a break. She is using this summer to explore some college majors and career paths, but these are not activities that were picked to look good on a resume. She is going to one college for a 5-day program for mechanical engineering, and another one for 10-days for business school. She loves to read, and I’m sure there will be lots of summer reading for her AP classes. And we are going on a family vacation to Captiva. That’s her summer…and I hope she sends a lot of time just hanging around with her friends.</p>
<p>Haven’t we all heard about kids who attended HYPSM schools, only to be burned out after a year?</p>
<p>My son never had paid emloyment during the summer and he didn’t do volunteer work either. We had family activities dotted throughout the summer and he read lots of good books. He was accepted to all 10 colleges he applied to, including Pomona, and is doing great at his chosen college. Some people don’t need or want downtime, but most of us do.</p>
<p>OP</p>
<p>How about doing some road trips to see some schools that are great, but not super reaches? She will need some of those on her list too, no matter what she does with her summers.</p>
<p>The volunteer idea is good also, since she is fearful about working. I’m sure you could help her come up with a fun option that would still leave her plenty of chill time.</p>
<p>I think that for a lot of kids the idea of doing nothing over the summer looks absolutely fabulous right now. It’s possible that after a few weeks of being bored and underfoot, she’ll discover it’s not what it’s cracked up to be. Personally, I’d follow her lead on this one.</p>
<p>My S, valedictorian of his IB class, spent his summers working at our Triple A affiliate ballpark, selling lemonade and cotton candy. He was accepted to all the colleges to which he applied, including UVA (now in his second year), William and Mary, Northwestern and Duke. He loves sports and summer baseball is a favorite. It didn’t hurt (obviously) that he did no courses but his essay did reflect his sports interests and work ethic and how it applied to all he does.</p>