Does a HS junior have to use summer for college prep?

Parents Forum
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<p>DD attends an intensely competitive, nationally known selective public high school. She is a great, straight-edge kid who works her tail off in school: we're very proud of her and have no complaints.</p>

<p>However, I'm a little nervous that she hasn't, er, embraced the idea of working, interning or attending any summer courses. We live in a major city. She doesn't want to work (she's 16 1/3)--not that it's easy for kids to find jobs--because she says most kids at her school don't have jobs. [I don't know how accurate her data is ;) .] She told me she's a little afraid of working--thinks she won't know how to do what they want, whatever it may be.</p>

<p>She will be attending a sport & foreign language camp abroad for two weeks. But she says she wants to use the summer to relax and to work on her college essays. And she wants to know if she and I can go on some "road trips." </p>

<p>I'm really trying to let her decide this stuff--her life is so different from my own 70's Show adolescence: I LOVED working, NEEDED $$, had friends who worked with me, had a massively screwed up home life, and got into college by the skin of my teeth. Also, my mom who's ill and cognitively impaired lives with us now, and it's hard for my kid to be around her.</p>

<p>Her heart is set on at least one HYPSM school, with a bunch of other big name ones. We're not fighting about this--but I wouldn't want to see her reduce her own chances of getting into these dream schools because she missed a way to make this summer count on her "resume" through work or interning.</p>

<p>I really hate this part of the college prep culture. Oh, for the days when summer was to be relished--to me this is the flip side of making kids do homework in kindergarten when "the work of children is to play."</p>

<p>Dinmor</p>

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<p>“Her heart is set on at least one HYPSM school, with a bunch of other big name ones. We’re not fighting about this–but I wouldn’t want to see her reduce her own chances of getting into these dream schools because she missed a way to make this summer count on her “resume” through work or interning.”
Given the intense level of competition for those colleges from tens of thousands of students in the US AND from abroad, I suggest that this should be the one summer that she shows her “love of learning” or love of an EC activity she has already participated in or SOMETHING that shows she did not just spend her summer “getting a tan”. There is no guarantee that it will make a difference, but given that the chance of acceptance at those schools are less than 5%, unless she happens to be a DA, Alumni kid, URM, recruited athlete, or the first in your family to go to college, does she really want to take the chance?
at the very least she could volunteer for something she believes in, perhaps in her local community.</p>

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<p>A lot depends on what else she does, but 2 weeks of camp and 10+ weeks of relaxing doesn’t sound like a recipe for getting into HYPSM. I’d encourage her to spend at least half her time doing some sort of volunteer work if she can’t find a paying job. Senior centers can nearly always use some help. Even stellar legacies with great summer activities are getting rejected from these schools.</p>

<p>My oldest son worked or went to academic programs, my younger son has been less proactive. He’s got a volunteer job he likes that he wants to put more hours into, and I’ll probably give him some hours working for me, but that’s it. My older son did get into Harvard (as a legacy), but got rejected from lots of the equivalent caliber schools, despite having full summers. We never considered his summer activities college prep, it’s what you do in the summer. (Most of his activities related to computer programming.)</p>

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<p>Thanks, girls–this is my exact thinking, and she knows it. I’m going to ask her to read this thread–why, here she is now!</p>

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<p>There are no guarantees at such schools. But it does make for a happier summer to have a busier summer, doing something meaningful, and that may make a difference.</p>

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<p>My kids (now both done with college) never thought of their summers as “college prep”. However, they did spend every summer from a young age doing worthwhile activities that interested them. Nobody made them do anything but they had interests they wanted to do. </p>

<p>First, I do not think your D needs academic courses in summer at all. My kids never took any and we never even considered that (both went to very selective colleges). Nothing wrong with courses, if that is what a kid really wants to do for the summer. I don’t think it matters WHAT your kid does for the summer but it does matter that she does SOMETHING worthwhile that means something to her and not for the sake of “college prep.” </p>

<p>Her camp sounds fun. What are her interests? She should find something she would enjoy doing this summer around her interests or else get a job. Selective schools would not look as kindly upon “hanging out all summer” but there is no formula of what she SHOULD be doing. She should have things she WANTS to do. I’d have to hear what interests her and come up for ideas around that. Again, a job is a good endeavor too. Travel is great too. Her summer need not be all one thing either. It surely doesn’t have to be academic in nature. </p>

<p>I can’t see pushing your kid to do something for the summer (that idea is foreign from my own experiences with our kids who push us with what they want to do for summer), but if your D is less inclined or motivated, tell her she needs to spend a chunk of her summer doing something worthwhile which can still be fun and a big break from school (which she deserves) and then help her brainstorm ideas around her interests. If you tell us her interests, we may have ideas to suggest too.</p>

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<p>Another thing in your post caught my eye when you lamented the time when summer days could be relished. Nobody said that your D’s summer needs to be all work and no play and drudgery or “prep for college”. My daughters LOVED their summers soooooooo much, I can’t begin to tell you! They did not pick what to do to look good for college. They went to programs they were dying to attend for the sheer love of what they wanted to do there. Again, these were not academic in nature. I don’t know what your D loves to do but that’s what she needs to address. My kids’ summers were so much fun for them and meaningful as well and they did not have free time but they cherished and relished their summer activities!</p>

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<p>I’m going to disagree with some of the other posters and say that if your daughter wants to relax this summer, then she should. She is sending out a clear message, that for 9-10 months of the year she is handling a lot of stress, and she NEEDS to relax. Why shouldn’t summer now be like it was 30 years ago? These kids who go to pressure-cooker schools need some downtime. Let her have some.</p>

<p>Even if she spends the whole summer at a job, an internship or program, that is no guarantee of acceptance. She needs to do what she wants to do. If she doesn’t get in, she’ll look back at this summer and think, “I busted my butt doing something I didn’t want to, for nothing.”</p>

<p>OTOH, her fear of working is a bit alarming. I think there are a lot of kids who go through both HS and college without holding a job, and I don’t think that’s necessarily a good thing. It might be good for her to find a babysitting job, dog walking, etc., just so she starts to get some work experience.</p>

<p>The question on college aps about summer experiences is a very minor piece of the application. Schools are much more interested in course of study, grades, test scores and ECs. If anyone asks, she can talk up the camp she’s going to. But honestly – listen to what she’s saying. Let her relax. Give her a break.</p>

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<p>I agree with fireandrain as far as your D should do what she WANTS to do in summer and not what she thinks she SHOULD be doing to get into college. The thought of “what should I do for summer that will look good on my resume for college” never entered my or my kids’ minds. They spent their summers doing what they really wanted to do. The difference, I guess is that what they particularly wanted to do was not to hang out all summer doing nothing. So, that situation never arose. I agree with fireandrain that the summer should NOT be a pressure cooker. </p>

<p>But I also would imagine your D has some things she is looking forward to doing that is a break from what she usually does during the school year. And I wonder what your D is interested in doing? My feeling is that someone who is striving for selective schools would have interests beyond academic ones and see summer as a chance to do those things. What are those things for your D? And if she has no particular interests, i do think that she could spend SOME of her time working. I don’t say this really for the college application but just to spend some time in a worthwhile endeavor for its own sake. The kids I know who tend to hang out all summer with no job or no activities at all, tend to be kids who are not college bound. So, I don’t mean this that your D needs to conjure up some endeavor in order to go to college but simply that someone who is seeking selective colleges, in my experience, has some interests and some activities of some sort that they wish to do during the summer that they don’t have time to do during the year or differs in some way. </p>

<p>In my view, your daughter should not bust her butt doing something to get into college. She should not even bust her butt. But…my feeling is that someone who is seeking elite college admissions WANTS to get off her BUTT for her own sake. :D</p>

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<p>Our son thoroughly enjoyed his summers in hs lifeguarding at the lake down the street and going out with friends in the evening. No, he was not HYPS “material”, but he did attend a fine university where he did very well academically and enjoyed himself tremendously. I suspect his post grad entry level employment exceeds that of most HYPS grads and he will be attending a top grad program in his field this August. The bonus was the $100,000 merit scholarships he recieved to attend his undergrad college.</p>

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<p>Thirty years ago, I spent my summers working or taking classes (usually art classes for me) and so did my husband.</p>

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<p>“Why shouldn’t summer now be like it was 30 years ago? These kids who go to pressure-cooker schools need some downtime. Let her have some.”
I would tend to agree with fireandrain IF the OP’s D wasn’t aiming for the most competitive colleges on earth. </p>

<p>But it’s not 1979. It is 2009. More students are applying to US colleges than at any time in history. And she is the one who is hoping to grab the “golden ring.” So going the extra mile this summer is warranted. If she is NOT lucky enough to be among the chosen few come next April, at least she will know she gave it her best shot.</p>

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<p>A little additional info to give the OP some perspective- Son, NM Finalist, Stanford legacy, top 10% student at a top 50 private school, 2330 SAT’s, National AP Scholar with Honor, accomplished classical pianist who interned for 2 summers with an internationally recognized, Stanford PHD trained scientist, applied to Stanford in 2006 and was rejected. It ain’t like it was 30 years ago. Those days are gone.</p>

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<p>And then there are S2’s two senior friends, spent two weeks of last summer in band camp, hung out and relaxed played a little music, nothing organized, inner city public HS, neither had a 4.0, both around a 2150, no particular individual national honors, played in high school band as the main EC. No legacy, not URMs. One accepted at Columbia the other Harvard.</p>

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<p>That’s a wonderful idea. Any child who volunteers to go on a road trip with mom/dad is pretty special. Don’t get caught up in the madness.</p>

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<p>I had hopes that S2 would apply to something like TASP and have one of those Big Life-Changing Summers like his older brother did. </p>

<p>Instead, he is going to be volunteering for a few weeks at a specialized camp where he’s been a counselor for four years, he’ll work on essays, get in shape for football season, do a lot of cooking (one of his favorite hobbies) for a local homeless shelter and research/interview/write his IB Extended Essay on a topic that really excites him. If he could land a paying job, too, he’d be delighted.</p>

<p>This reflects exactly who he is – a young man with a wide variety of interests. He refuses to play the prestige or polish-the-resume games, and says if colleges don’t like who he is, then it’s probably not the right school for him anyway. He has the academic bonafides to apply anywhere he wants and have a legitimate shot at getting in. He also has a heart of gold. </p>

<p>He’s the real deal and I am damned proud of him.</p>

<p>Chasing the Holy Grail is not all it’s cracked up to be. Being true to oneself is.</p>

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<p>Sometimes the best opportunities are so nearby that you don’t notice them. Maybe she can help out with caring for the “ill and cognitively impaired” grandmother? It could well become one of those “Really Big Life Changing” summers.</p>

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<p>I just think the most valuable experiences are the things we do because we want to do them, not because we are doing it for external reasons or affirmation. </p>

<p>S1 had one of those Big Life-Changing Summers, but it sure wasn’t about the college apps. He just wanted to go learn some more math to help with his programming skills. It wound up leading to a whole lot more than that, including research, and some of those goodies showed up on his college apps as significant awards/hardware, earning him some excellent admits/merit money. As he put it, “all that stuff was gravy. I was just glad I came up with a cool question and was able to actually answer it.” The reward for him was intrinsic. He didn’t need Harvard, Intel, or the Nobel Committee to shower their love.</p>

<p>OP’s D might write much better essays if she has time to think and reflect and knit her experiences together into a statement of beliefs and goals that will stand up to (and beyond) any admissions committee. </p>

<p>What does she want to do on these road trips? Visit colleges? Spend time with you and the rest of the family? She’s trying to tell you something – see what she has to say. We found our family vacation the summer before senior year to be a nice time to spend time together and talk about goals, etc. before walking into the buzzsaw of senior year craziness. Believe me, it only gets harder to get everyone together for vacations after that, too. (We didn’t realize HOW tough that would be to handle, either.)</p>

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<p>This topic touches a nerve in our household.</p>

<p>I agree…she should have a fulfilling summer but only she can decide what that will be. Our junior has done so many things during her high school summers but I think she learned a ton during the process of applying for summer scholarships and fundraising to get to those summer programs. We have been facilitators and have tried to listen to her interests and help her along the way. </p>

<p>She spent 8 weeks on a mission trip before her freshman year and the next summer she did a mix of several shorter things…science, music, volunteer work, etc. (That may have been her favorite year.) She was bound and determined to stay state-side! Last summer she had a lengthy academic program that was “life changing” and then she decided to find a way to go overseas again this summer…but no missions this time. She was wanting to focus on language and culture. Well, she had several options to choose from again and in a way I am sad to see her go for 8 weeks, especially this last summer. Your summer sounds perfect to me!</p>

<p>For my D, it is like she has applied to college three years in a row now. Some folks, (including her counselor) thought we were pushing her too hard. Ha! Being pulled along is more the truth of the matter! They are now convinced her summer activities are fun for her, as well as her crazy academic schedule. Will her grades be perfect? No! Is she doing what she wants to do? Absolutely! She has learned a lot (about herself too) from her experiences while doing what she loves. </p>

<p>Her oldest sister was too busy with cheer in the summers to do much else. Younger brother will be a freshman next year and he will spend most of the summer on sports. They both think (as do most of her peers) that her choices are crazy. On the other hand, she is only interested in being a sports spectator and you couldn’t pay her enough to be a cheerleader, although she is a fantastic dancer. You know, as far as colleges go, I agree with the theory that if they are being themselves and the place doesn’t want them, they are better off anyway. Sounds like what I tell my kids about relationships, too.</p>

<p>Oh, and the activity the big name schools seemed to show the most interest in, so far? Strangely enough, probably cheer. Our junior has done many college and scholarship interviews and what seems to be the thing that they like about her is that she is not a ‘typical’ high school kid. (That’s good, as she has no clue how to be one anyway!)</p>

<p>I say life is too short. We tell our kids if you end up at the state school like everyone else, are you still going to want to do whatever it is the plan is for the summer or ECs? If so, as long as they do something worthwhile, then I think they are on the right track. I hate to hear stories after the fact about teens that wouldn’t have done whatever if they had known they wouldn’t get into HYPS (or whatever) University.</p>

<p>Good luck and most of all, have a great summer!</p>

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<p>“A little additional info to give the OP some perspective- Son, NM Finalist, Stanford legacy, top 10% student at a top 50 private school, 2330 SAT’s, National AP Scholar with Honor, accomplished classical pianist who interned for 2 summers with an internationally recognized, Stanford PHD trained scientist, applied to Stanford in 2006 and was rejected. It ain’t like it was 30 years ago. Those days are gone.”</p>

<p>But then aren’t you saying that it doesn’t matter what you do in the summer? If your son interned for 2 summers with this internationally recognized scientist and <em>still</em> didn’t get into Stanford, then it probably doesn’t matter what a kid does over the summer. </p>

<p>My Junior is working this summer. She’ll need the money for college. I’d like to see a kid work or volunteer or do <em>something</em> over the summer, but I don’t think it makes or breaks an application.</p>