<p>I think the “dream” concept refers to the principal factors that one perceives will make one the happiest. So for some kids, that would be campus environment, for others prestige and intellectual rigor, for others the sports scene, and still others peer fit and interest groups for them to belong to. So if those primary factors line up as expected, then yes they are happier. D wanted a cheerful, sunny campus environment filled with smart kids she likes. She got that, and thus is very happy. What isn’t that great about her school, or the things that aren’t going as well as she’d like, don’t lessen her happiness because those things are not her happy triggers.</p>
<p>Class of 2015-
Theres a plan :)</p>
<p>Agree that targeting one school as a “dream” school can be a set up for disappointment, but many students if, for eg, they are denied an ED school or their “dream” school, manage to lick their wounds and move on pretty quickly. Then they often cannot imagine being at any other school than the one they attend. And there are the kids who feel they can be happy almost anywhere (my DS #2) and those who have a more targeted list of things they want/don’t want in a college experience (my DS#1).</p>
<p>That said, I am a big believer in “fit”, though students can “fit” into many places. For DS#1, we visited 13 schools, and when he visited the one he ultimately attended we both knew “this is it”, and he applied ED. Could he have been happy elsewhere? I believe so. He had a safety already in the hole and he had a few other apps ready to be submitted had he not been admitted ED. But fortunately he was and it was a great experience for him. I still to this day think it was a perfect “fit” and he was very happy there.</p>
<p>DS # 2 played “show me the money” and felt he’d adapt to most anywhere (as long as it was in warm weather- his only criteria). I agree with him. He’s a pretty laid back, sociable kid. Older s was, at the time, more shy and academically “intense”. He blossomed at the school he attended becaue it had so many of the things that were important to him in a college experience. </p>
<p>FWIW, a relatives child initially attended the school DS#2 went to. I don’t recall if she had a “dream” school, but she was encouraged by familt to select the school because if the scholarships whe was awarded and its focus on community service. She had a bad roommate match and didn’t like several aspects of the school. She went to visit my DS#1 at his school, fell in love with it and transferred. She was so very happy with it (as were we) that her younger sib attends there now.</p>
<p>There are DREAMS and then there are dreams.</p>
<p>DREAM car: Worth over $200K. Most of us wouldn’t be willing to drive it anywhere (I’m thinking Ferris Bueller’s friend Cameron and his dad) out of anxiety over dings, scratches and being breathed on wrong. </p>
<p>dream car: expensive, but within reach, probably with financing. Some people say go for it, some people think the extra money is a waste.</p>
<p>car we actually drive: Most of us drive what we can afford, what gets us through the day with reliability, what gets good gas mileage, what is safe…</p>
<p>With schools, I think there is a greater chance of being happy with a dream school that is a good fit as opposed to a DREAM school, where the competition and expense may be a killer for a kid who barely made it there. But most people go to the school that is like the car we actually drive: safe, reliable, gets us to where we want to go, and affordable.</p>
<p>Fulfilling your Dream at age 17? Dangerous stuff. As others have suggested, replace “quarter-million dollar college” with “quarter-million dollar car” and the OP’s (revised) question becomes ludicrous. Would anyone want to marry into such a situation? “Honey the Mercedes is nice, really it is. But I’d be happier with the Bugatti.”</p>
<p>Except it’s not a car which depreciates the moment it leaves the lot. It’s an education and thus an investment that appreciates. When the dream school is indeed high on the rigor and prestige list and the happy student does well there, it confers certain benefits on the graduate that can pay back the expenditure with interest.</p>
<p>^^^</p>
<p>Not all education is an investment. Some degrees do depreciate.</p>
<p>Furthermore…Not all education is worth a high price, if a similar/acceptable education can be had for the lower price. Imagine paying $220k for your child to get a ElemEd degree from a mid-tier private? The same education could be had for about $100k at the flagship (or even less at a local state u). In the end, the pricey education will net the SAME salary as the flagship or other education.</p>
<p>“You signed for a penthouse apartment at The Dakota? Central Park West? Wow. I’d be a lot happier at The Trump Tower.”</p>
<p>Interesting responses!</p>
<p>I posed the question because I see a lot of kids post on CC about their “dream” schools, schools that they hyper-focus on getting into.</p>
<p>I wonder if it has to do with some kids being very single minded about a career and figuring dream school is the way towards that career; or, perhaps dream school just seems to have everything they want. Typically, dream schools seem to be “top” schools, but not always.</p>
<p>My son, a graduating HS senior, had no dream school. He didn’t do a lot of research (I did, though) about all the schools he applied to. He did cry with happiness when he got into his SCEA school, but ultimately decided on another school that he felt was a better fit. </p>
<p>But it wasn’t a dream school and in fact, didn’t even get on the list until last fall when he was able to visit.</p>
<p>I also am optimistic that he’ll enjoy his time there but that remains to be seen.</p>
<p>The answer: YES.</p>
<p>I think probably, yes…with the understanding that for most American college students, the dream school they are attending is a home-state public school.</p>
<p>Yes. Let’s not kid ourselves - there are plenty of kids for whom their dream school is (say) Northern Illinois University - because it has things that are ideal for them - close to home, affordable, academics aren’t killer, friends go there, most people are from the immediate area so will have things in common with them, has a decent reputation in the area they already know they will spend the rest of their lives in, etc. They wouldn’t ever see Harvard (or insert other elite school of your choice) as a “dream” for themselves, and wouldn’t be particularly happy if airlifted there and made to attend.</p>
<p>Saying that having a dream school is bad is like saying pollen is bad: it can cause allergies, bring us flowers, and with help. Produce honey. I would have felt better if each kid had not been so focused on one school because it made them less willing to focus appropriate energy on other schools. However, it wasn’t under my control – they each became passionate about one school. They did have others they thought quite nice and would have been happy to attend, however, each felt S/he had grabbed the gold ring, and that halo of joy did last the entire 4 years for each, even during some real adversity for at least one of them.</p>
<p>I am not advocating for having a dream school but merely reporting how it went down in my family.</p>
<p>Again, people have made the leap that a student’s dream school will automatically be more expensive than less ‘desirable to them’ options. That is just not true. Dream does not necessarily mean a wildly unattainable or impractical fantasy.</p>
<p>It depends on the premises underlying the dream and then the durability of the dream. Sometimes, dreams change.</p>
<p>In some circumstances, the answer is Yes; in others, the answer is No.</p>
<p>One size does not fit all.</p>
<p>I don’t think the worm had a dream school for UG or grad school. When he applied to UG he was a junior, 2days before winter break. He had seen Boston schools from the car many years before, but none of the others. He applied to several top CS programs and a few extras. Being a a techie helped narrow the field. There wasn’t time to seek out LACs with strong CS programs.</p>
<p>Applying to grad schools was different. He flew to east coast 5x, and went to several CA schools. He spent 2-3 days at each program, being interviewed by professors, spending time with grad students, and thinking seriously about his lab and location. </p>
<p>Once again, he felt a few colleges Would meet his needs, professionally and socially. This time, the ball was in his court, with so many offers. where he ended up was still a compromise, in terms of weather and driving. </p>
<p>To sum up, never a dream school. Content? Yes. No regrets, but thinks other choices could have been fine also. </p>
<p>On the other hand, I think a dream college entered his consciousness at a young age. I suspect that when he had busy work to do, or art projects or book covers that he resented having to do, he plowed through.</p>
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<p>I honestly couldn’t care less about how much the education will net in terms of salary; it’s my gift to my children, and whether they make $40K or $400K with it is their concern, not mine - it’s hardly as though I’m going to ask them to pay me back.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl: I think the way you do about this.</p>
<p>My son’s longtime dream school (since 11) is awesome but after he visited several when admissions decisions came out, he realized that the one he said he would never go to was the perfect fit. He was super confident about getting into the dream school but I don’t think he would have had a hard time if he didn’t. In fact, I think that he may have had a hard time if he had gone to that school, nit academically, and he would have made friends he enjoyed, but simply because of the fit factor. Hehs fell in love with it for the academics and research opportunities. He liked the idea of easy access to city life. He had friends going there. Financial aid was awesome. But, the one he picked had all that plus a lifestyle and attitude about the work that was more suited to his approach. He describes himself as “extremely happy” at the school he said he would never go to. There were simply differences you can’t really “get” from a brochure or online. He had to be there to tell. Ironically, one thing the online info said about his school turned out to be the opposite for him, and that was a good thing.</p>
<p>So, my son git in the category, “Got into dream school but realized after visiting colleges that another school was a better fit and went there.”</p>
<p>I would like to point out that my son’s longterm focus on preparing for his dream school gained him admission not only to that school but also to the one that was the best fit. Having a dream school can focus a kid for a long time on the right direction. He even chose not to date in high school so he would have time to be qualified for the dream school and didn’t go to parties to avoid being where there was alcohol or drugs. Having a set of three schools might also be good, especially if one is a safety, for a kid who might be too crestfallen upon receiving a rejection.</p>