William seems reasonably well-adjusted, happy and successful. He gets along with his nuclear and extended family (other than HM) and is thought to be doing a good job by most UK citizens. Perhaps he doesn’t want therapy nor appreciate Harry’s public suggestion that he needs it.
1 Like
If Harry felt he was having trouble communicating with his brother, it was a reasonable request for William to come to a session. We did that with our kids when they asked even though WE didn’t need therapy.
1 Like
I agree, but IMO it’s also reasonable to decline the request (even though that could have its own set of consequences as appears to be the case here). And just to be clear, I generally believe everyone/anyone can benefit from psychotherapy.
1 Like
Why decline though? My sister and I don’t always get along but if she asked me, I would go. Why refuse?
3 Likes
I can’t speak for others (or William in this specific situation), but to start with, I expect there are many people who aren’t comfortable speaking with a professional therapist under any circumstances. Add in potentially talking about things in front of/with a family member and that can make it even less palatable. Family relationships can be so complicated, I don’t want to judge anyone who wouldn’t want to participate in family therapy.
9 Likes
According to Harry, William did assault him as an adult — going for his neck, ripping off his necklace, knocking him down and injuring him. Harry also says William asked him not to tell anyone including Meghan. I am not sure if the suggestion that William attend therapy happened before or after this incident (this may have been discussed upthread).
1 Like
Just speculating in general here, as I don’t know the circumstances of H &W therapy request…
Adding to @Mwfan1921’s list, one might have an uncomfortable feeling about the particular therapist and/or type of therapy being used, based on things the relative was saying. One might fear being “ganged up on” by relative and the therapist. One might fear being blamed for relative’s problems. The particular family relationship may have already broken down to the point it seemed hopeless.
I’m also generally very pro-therapy, but can imagine situations where I’d be more hesitant.
9 Likes
Perhaps Harry has no business publicly speculating about the mental health of others? Just a thought, but he seems in no position or training to judge…
10 Likes
Like every story, there are three sides to their story, H’s version, W’s version and actual reality. We only know H’s version and only as it was carefully wrapped for corporate consumption.
7 Likes
the fact that you posted an article from the Mail (a gossip rag with a particular narrative;) indicated where you are getting your information. Where do you think those gossip rags get their information and stories? Who do you think the “palace sources” or “close friends” are that are leaking this information?
I’d say the leaks are coming directly from William/Kate and Charles/Camilla and those leaks are approved by the principals involved.
This false narrative that royals never comment is disingenuous at best.
2 Likes
I saw a poll yesterday showing that, like everything these days, opinion of Harry in the US was highly partisan. I wish they’d also polled opinion by birth order. I think we all project a lot of our own stuff on these folks about whom we really know so little.
2 Likes
Meghan did give him what he wanted and needed, including children. He just seems to need to blame someone for things he may be responsible for, including abusing drugs and alcohol all through his 20s and into his 30s. H has a much healthier lifestyle now, and M can take credit for that.
Harry may have needed William to go to family therapy, but what about what William needed? William didn’t have the option of blowing off steam for 10 years, of drinking and partying. He had a lot of responsibilities at age 22. He’s only 2 years older than Harry. He was also in the military, trying to figure out if he wanted to get married, dealing with his father getting remarried. Maybe he just couldn’t give Harry what Harry asked for.
I’m dealing with my own sibling problems right now and no, I wouldn’t go to therapy if they just asked me to. I’d need to see some real commitment to change and not just more of the same behavior (and we are in our 60s, not teenagers). IMO, it doesn’t help to go to therapy and then leave the office and repeat the same behavior. I come from a family of alcoholics and a few therapy sessions are not going to cure anything if the person then continues the same lifestyle of partying. There is no indication, even from Harry, that he was committed to changing his lifestyle to work on his mental health.
6 Likes
A birth order poll would be interesting. I’m the youngest and have been generally sympathetic to Harry.
1 Like
I’m the oldest and have been sympathetic to Harry.
2 Likes
I’m the middle child and have been both sympathetic to and skeptical of Harry 
.
I have great sympathy, having experienced some of the same tragedy (losing a parent at a similar age, a family that never talked about it, and more).
At the same time I have trouble accepting his word at face value, for several reasons. There’s the “3 sides to every story” angle. There’s the “different people react differently to identical circumstances” angle. A comment that cuts one child to the quick elicits a shrug and an eye-roll from another, as anyone who has more than one child (or sibling, for that matter) can likely attest.
I’ve also known too many families where one person, as an adult, describes how misunderstood, mistreated, and unhappy they were as a child, while their sibling, similar in age and having grown up in the same house with the same parents, is flabbergasted, having had no clue the sibling felt that way.
I’m almost finished with my current book, and Harry’s memoir is next on my list. I’ll have to wait and see if it changes any of my impressions thus far.
3 Likes
Same. I do think he suffered and feel bad about that, but he’s not the only one who lost someone when Diana died. He needed some help and understanding he didn’t receive, but now he needs to move on from that. If his birth family couldn’t help him, he needed to find out what he needed. He seems to have done that, late in life.
He can’t change the family he feels failed him. He walked away. That was his choice. I’m not agreeing that that was his only choice or that they did anything wrong.
Many kids lose a parent. My mother was raised by her cousins while her parents and siblings lived just down the street (for a short time, then they divorced and moved away). Hard? Yes. She had no money for counseling. Her parents weren’t dead, just rejected her. My best friend’s mother died after childbirth when we we 13. She was the oldest of 5 and her father was an ass. She became the instant mother until her father got married 11 months later, to a woman with a daughter our age (lasted about 3 years). My friend moved out the day she turned 18. We were still in hs and she moved in with her BF’s family (they are still married, 45 years later). Each of her brothers moved out the day they turned 18. But they reconciled with the father years later. Time and distance, and financial independence, helped.
They did not write tell all books.
1 Like
Its not like I’m friends with royals, whatever information algorithm puts in my newsfeed, that’s what forms my opinion with a mix of my personal biases. I could be completely wrong on most accounts. However, most of the information is coming from what Harry himself puts out there.
In my layman opinion, expecting William to be his brother’s keeper is unfair, he wasn’t much older than Harry and had to deal with his own trauma, restrictions and responsibilities.
Once they became adult and William had more freedom and maturity to understand Harry, by than Harry was an adult as well and had too much resentment to take his brother’s advice.
It is ironic how real life fairytales are basically just heavily edited fiction to keep masses entertained.
4 Likes
I finally watched the Harry interviews with Tom Bradby and Stephen Colbert. I watched them while walking on a treadmill so I’ll just throw out my impressions.
- Harry was more thoughtful and articulate than I expected. He seemed relaxed and humble.
As I watched the recordings I was looking for some of the traits that have been used by his detractors in this thread. I did not see whining. I did not see someone who seemed defensive and unable to see his own shortcomings. I did not see someone acting out with malicious intent. I did not see someone driven by greed.
In my opinion he came across as a person who just wants to be understood….someone who has had enough of living his life through other people’s narrative. Some of the over-sharing may be an attempt to disarm his abusers (aka the UK tabloid journalism), who profit on the torment of him and his family. Perhaps he is tired of being a silenced, convenient punching bag.
- Harry’s studio audience reception was loud and warm with supportive chants of “Harry! Harry! Harry!”.
Why was that significant to me? Well, I half expected a muted reception with loud music and Colbert clapping. I guess I was (again) buying into the narrative that people are burned out by all the Harry media attention and are uninterested in his story. On the contrary, Spare is setting book sale records globally…probably to the chagrin of some of those very tormentors. And as I typed “tormentors” after watching both interviews and the Netflix series, it does seem that I see Harry and Meghan as having been bullied. How can you not have empathy when drones are seeking you out on a Canadian island?…when neighbors/friends/family members are approached and offered money for a story?…when “journalists” break onto private property for a photo? The stress that would accompany such intrusive behavior would probably drive many to seek a way to make it stop. jmo
13 Likes
I had the same impression watching the Colbert interview. I’m on the waiting list to read Spare through my library.
3 Likes
I do have sympathy. But I don’t think a Netflix series, interviews and a book are going to “make it stop” at all; quite the opposite. Surely they realize that.
4 Likes