<p>I hope to get some feedback from parents about your thoughts/experiences.</p>
<p>How important is it for students to participate in specific activities for all four years of high school? My S has participated in band for the past 3 years and will assume a pretty good leadership role next year as a senior. He is very involved and very successful. He has other things on his resume as well, but band is by far the most time consuming and involved. He is looking at smaller private colleges (no ivy league) and his stats will be very good for scholarships (GPA, ACT, etc.), which we want to maximize.</p>
<p>My S likes most things about band, but is getting tired of the way he (and all the students) are treated by the directors, especially because he works so hard for them. (I get very aggravated by some of the antics of the directors and would be happy to be done with them!) They even make it difficult to do the things necessary to prepare for college (ACT, PSAT, college visits, etc.) even though the school is really a college prep school. The band has been steadily decreasing in size the past 4 years, in great part due to the narrow focused directors and the lack of respect they show the kids.</p>
<p>I'm sure it looks great on a resume when a student excels in an activity for 4 years. How does it look for a student to quit their last year? As long as he replaces it with other activities, would that be okay? Any other things he should think about before making his decision?</p>
<p>Most colleges don’t factor ECs into admission. Grades, scores, class rank and – for public schools, state of residence – are what determines admission. It’s only the most competitive colleges – places like HPYS – for which ECs may count a great deal. That’s because such colleges have such an overabundance of high stat applicants that the colleges can afford to pick and choose among those applicants to create an active student body that’s diverse in all meanings of the word including ECs.</p>
<p>So, when it comes to your S, if he’s tired of band and would prefer to replace it with another activity, fine. It may be that the new activity changes your S’s life for the better – helps him discover some interests and talents – whether or not it helps him get into college.</p>
<p>The activity that my S started summer before senior in high school helped change his life, including helping him develop major leadership skills while making major strides in overcoming his lifelong shyness. It also ended up helping him get merit aid for college, but even if he hadn’t gotten merit aid, his participation in that activity would have been well worth it because of the impact it had on his personality. He also had pursued the activity out of interest, not because he wanted to improve his resume.</p>
<p>It’s about what he excels in or shows leadership in. If he doesn’t have notable achievement in band (awards) or some leadership position, doubtful it matters if he quits, for a state school or a private one.</p>
<p>" It’s only the most competitive colleges – places like HPYS – for which ECs may count a great deal."</p>
<p>I forgot to add after saying the above that the places like HPYS aren’t impressed by the length of time that a student does an activity, but by what a student has accomplished in it. Just being in a band for 4 years isn’t going to impress places like HPYS. The top schools get so many applicants who are outstanding musicians that even making All State Band doesn’t make one stand out in such schools’ applicant pool.</p>
<p>My gut says that if your son sticks with band so that it looks good on his resume, then he’s not in it for the right reasons anyway and should probably drop it. Why do something just so it looks nice on a piece of paper? It doesn’t seem like this should make or break him.</p>
<p>It seems like music is one of his passions but he isn’t liking the direction of his band. Maybe if he decides to drop band he could continue on with music in some different aspect, which would perhaps ameliorate any problems caused by losing that senior year of band. I’m thinking something along the lines of teaching lessons for his instrument, working at a music shop, volunteering with kids after school, playing for neighbors/senior citizens/at weddings, or doing something service or leadership related with his instrument involved. That way, he could even weave his change in heart into a really cool essay if he happens to learn something about himself as a result of his changed perspective on music. I mean, I’d be pretty impressed to read an essay from a student about how he took the initiative to seek out a unique opportunity to replace an activity that he realized wasn’t living up to his expectations…plus he’d have the chance to explain why he dropped in the first place.</p>
<p>Bottom line…if his heart’s not in it, his time shouldn’t be either. Senior year’s way too short to spend it doing something he’d rather not be a part of, so if I were you I’d start exploring other options and only stick with band as a last resort.</p>
<p>Being a participant in a HS group for four years likely won’t count for much at most schools; selective schools value leadership. E.g., being president of a significant club in senior year would more likely be helpful.</p>
<p>Personally I would advise my kids to ignore their college applications while making this decision … and to do what they want to do for their senior year … and advise them that the college admission thing will work itself out. I’d hate for my kids at 17 to be overly concerned about doing things they think others want them to be doing … as opposed to doing things for themselves to help them figure out who they are.</p>
<p>Is there a community band or orchestra he could join, or join one at a local university? If He enjoys playing but not the antics of the directors, he could continue with the activity he likes and avoid the people he does not. And moving up to a higher level group seems to me to be a step up, not sideways.
Playing music within the community can be a fulfilling and life long experience. It might fit his desire to play, without the bs.</p>
<p>We always advised our kids to participate in an activity because they loved it, not because they thought it might look good on a college resume. When they no longer were interested in the activity, they dropped it. Both of them were admitted to all the schools they applied to - both undergrad and grad. Life is too short to do something you no longer love just for the sake of listing it on a resume.</p>
<p>I’m going to throw up a yellow light here. I don’t know what “small colleges (no ivy league)” means. Selective LACs ABSOLUTELY look at ECs, probably harder than the Ivies do, because the vibrancy of their campus life depends on having engaged students. And four years of band with a leadership role senior year looks a lot better than three years of band and a switch to key club. So, while I want to agree with everyone else that kids shouldn’t let their college applications wag their lives, and should only do what they like, I also have a niggling feeling that there’s an asterisk on that for the fall of senior year. If a kid is going to play in the selective college pool (not just Ivies), his or her applications ARE going to wag his or her life a little, and I might wait a couple months to tell the band directors where they can stick their baton.</p>
<p>“Is there a community band or orchestra he could join, or join one at a local university? If He enjoys playing but not the antics of the directors, he could continue with the activity he likes and avoid the people he does not. And moving up to a higher level group seems to me to be a step up, not sideways.”</p>
<p>He doesn’t have to stick it out. It’s OK to quit.
Grades/test scores are going to be much more important than ECs–I really don’t think that a 4th year of band will be a make or break factor in admissions.</p>
<p>Drop Band. Use the time to study for retaking SATs or ACT if needed. Work on college applications. Enjoy the whole summer break instead of returning for band practice weeks before the school year begins. Have fun senior year doing things that the band schedule never permitted. You’re free from the tyranny of Band! Enjoy life!</p>
<p>Three cheers for 3togo and MidwestParent! Glad to know we’re not alone.</p>
<p>For years we have been bucking the trend. One S did rec soccer, not club soccer, and still made the high school team (although we were told he would NEVER make the team without club soccer). One S dropped band to take wood shop, and found a new hobby he may have for the rest of his life. Another S took a fun art class instead of another AP class so he’d have more time for sports. Yep, it dropped his weighted GPA, but he made the varsity team and his confidence has soared. We try to focus on this: when they are 18 and we drop them off at college, will they be the type of young men we want them to be? Will they be prepared for the academic rigors of their chosen college, but also prepared for the social scene, the stress, the peer pressure, the temptations? If we keep focused on that goal, it makes it easier for us to blow off the comments of others, such as (and this was actually said to me), “But he’s in GT! Why would you let him take wood shop?”</p>
<p>“Drop Band. Use the time to study for retaking SATs or ACT if needed.”</p>
<p>Even better: Use the free time to pursue some interests that he hasn’t had time to delve into before. Senior year is fun. Encourage him to enjoy it.</p>
<p>In our community, advanced high school players were welcome in the community college’s band. Some kids who couldn’t fit the high school band course into their schedules chose that option.</p>
<p>The only reason to stay in high school band if you don’t like it, in my opinion, is to retain your eligibility for all-state. If your son isn’t at the all-state level or is not interested in trying out for all-state, I see no reason why he can’t drop out. If he wants to pursue his interest in music in other ways, fine; if not, he can spend his time on other things.</p>
<p>1) Colleges like both leadership positions and depth of commitment to an EC. They don’t like a year or two of a bunch of different activities - they’d prefer to see a long-term commitment with increasing levels of responsibility in an area of passion. That said, your son has 3 years with band. Quitting as a senior would require an explanation on his part. It might be a good essay topic, especially if for him this feels like a moral or ethical decision, or a way to make a statement to the band director that his unreasonableness can no longer be tolerated.</p>
<p>2) Band has got to be the #1 most common EC that colleges see, at least selective colleges. Scroll thru CC - EVERYONE’s kid is in band. (Including my DS). Band will not make him stand out from other applicants, unless those other applicants have few/no EC’s.</p>
<p>3) Is there another way to handle this? Can your son talk to the director respectfully, lay out his opinions - and the facts of the declining enrollment in the program - offer his advice on changes that are needed to keep kids involved, and then if the director blows him off or says “I see your point but I think I am right and nothing is going to change” then your son can say, “I’m sorry, but in that case my involvement in band has to end?” Perhaps some compromises could be reached that would make everyone happy.</p>
<p>3) In the end, it’s up to your son and how he feels. If staying in band will make him miserable, then he should quit. If he will miss it too much, then he should stay and learn that putting up with “unreasonable” bosses sometimes is part of life. But don’t make the decision based on what a college may or may not want. Have him make a decision based on this being your son’s one and only senior year of high school, and doing what he thinks is going to make him happiest in the long run.</p>