Hi. My daughter will be HS senior in the fall. She came to me last night, saying she does not want to be in band as a senior. she has played since 6th grade and has lost the drive and passion. She would like to take another class that she is interested in. If in band, HAS to do marching band and pep band, neither of which she can stand. Will colleges care about her dropping band her last year of high school? Of course, as a parent, my heart breaks thinking of her not doing it. And I know it’s not a good reason for her to stick it out. thoughts?
No. If she does not want to do it, she shouldn’t do it, particularly if she has s valid replacement.
Oldest D, was a volleyball player since elementary school, and started as a sophomore on a nationally ranked HS team. Going into her senior year, she had already had a shoe-box of letters from a variety of both division 1 and Ivy school teams that had serious interest in her in either being a scholarship player or being a recruited athlete (Ivy schools have no athletic scholarships, but it can certainly assist in the admissions process). That summer, she begrudgingly told my wife and I, she did not want to continue playing.
We were both shocked. She said she wanted to start carving out a new identity for herself, and that the level of competition (she was already participating with jr. teams that competed nationally) had become tiring and volleyball had lost some of its appeal and fun. Further, it was not in her plans anymore to play volleyball at the collegiate level. Now, you have to have understand that she was receiving letters and communications from teams in the top 10 nationally. Moreover, and certainly not helping the situation, was that I attended undergrad on an athletic scholarship (football)–so, I certainly had some of my own projections and aspirations on the topic.
Even though she never played her senior year, schools still offered her a volleyball scholarship–and that complicated choosing a college. Long story short, we all came to a collective peace, with the central theme being that this is her life and her decision. Fast forward about 10 years or so, to the present, well, like all the women in my family (my wife and 3 Ds) they are all smarter than me. She graduated from CAL and UCSF Medical School and is now in residency. Excellent choice by her…
But to your specific question, I don’t think it will effect her college admission.
I agree with the others. I think it’s important to listen to your daughter. She could be more stressed out than she’s letting on. I speak from experience! My youngest of three is a high school junior. She is the quiet type, and I had no idea how stressed she was, about school and life in general. It took a family crisis for her anxiety to come to the surface. She is a good runner, but I honored her wishes when she said she didn’t want to run indoor or outdoor track this year. It’s important to look at the big picture and keep these kids mentally healthy. 
It will not affect admissions. She has been in it since the 6th grade—that’s A LOT of band. “Of course, as a parent, my heart breaks thinking of her not doing it.”
“As a parent” it would break my heart to think my D was doing something she did not like. Is it because you are heavily involved as a band parent?
My S played soccer since kindergarten, competitively since middle school, as well as high school. He said he was done Sr year and wanted to focus on his music. It was disappointing to us at first, but he has been the most productive musically he’s ever been this year, and he got into most of his schools so I guess they didn’t care too much. And most importantly, he was happy (well at least about the music, not so much on his senior schoolwork 
).
It should not affect admissions and perhaps she will find another interest to pursue Senior year is tough enough without doing things you don’t want to do, just for the sake of an application, which is misguided anyway. I wonder if this means she is maturing and no longer just automatically doing what she “should” do- I would take it as a good sign!
If she doesn’t want to be in band that is fine, especially if she can take another class she is interested in and has other ECs.
thank you all SO MUCH! the advice from all is spot on. No, I wouldn’t say I’m heavily involved as a band parent…probably the exact opposite I/we enjoy seeing the band kids perform, and have enjoyed watching and listening to her master the French horn. BUT. It has become very clear to her, and now me, in the last year that she has lost some of the passion. She said last night maybe she could play in a small ensemble in college, but she is not interested in doing anything musically. And, yes, I see all this as a sure sign of growth. She’s a good student, pulling a 3.8 gpa, AP/accelerated classes for the most part, and wants to take another art class if possible Senior year. I will adjust, I’m sure. She’s our youngest of 2 children and just hard to see something ‘ending’!
I think it is perfectly understandable that your D has had it with bands. Some people love all the hoopla surrounding marching bands, but others who love playing an instrument are unmoved by all that.
The french horn is an orchestral instrument, and not an easy one to master. I’d encourage her to consider finding a chamber orchestra or something like that to play with. Explore some other music. It would be a shame to give it up entirely if she likes the instrument.
I know a number of people who continue to play instruments and sing even into actual old age, and derive enormous pleasure from having music in their lives.
We also faced that decision with our D and soccer. We had her ask her college counselor, whose opinion she respected more than us parents (and that’s the reason we paid the money for a private counselor), and she suggested she stay on the team. But my D’s underlying reason for wanting to quit was she didn’t think she would play. And due to various injuries, my D ended up playing in every game and she had a great time socially as well. It worked out well for my D, but that’s not always the case. But I guess good luck happens more often if you’re in the game (figurative game, not the literal soccer game.)
And as far as helping her get into a specific college, I of course have no idea how decisions are made, but I’m inclined to believe she would have gotten into most of her schools, but I also think playing high school sports for four years helped her get into a reach school. In hindsight, I’m not sure if this was appropriate to say, but we did ask her if forgoing her last year of high school soccer would be worth diminishing her chances of getting into certain schools. She has absolutely no regrets playing her last year, and she even acknowledged that maybe playing her senior year helped her get into the school she absolutely loves.
I think you have to determine the real reason she wants to quit. Is it going to take an emotional toll on her if she continues? Is it early senioritis? There’s no “correct” answer to this situation. Good luck to whatever she chooses.
Dropping band and replacing it with an honors, AP or IB course could raise her GPA and possibly her class rank.
Will quitting band her senior year hurt her application? Most likely not, as others have overwhelmingly assured you. However, taking another Art class senior year won’t add to her application - unless she will be applying as an art major.
She will no longer have her band family - likely her closest friends. She will have a tremendous amount of free time - when all her band friends are rehearsing, performing at sporting events and competing in contests. This might seem to be exactly what she is needing, but can backfire. Currently she attends football and (Pep band - basketball or other sporting events) with her band friends. Who will she attend these events with her senior year?
Maybe you have already done this, but ask a LOT of questions to get to the root of why she wants to quit. If you ask enough questions, then you can feel more at peace that she is quitting for the right reasons. For instance, (granted I know almost nothing about your D), I find it hard to believe that she has participated in marching and pep band for THREE years - and “cannot stand” these activities. I believe a lot of high school juniors are just coming up for air after their most challenging year ever - academically, ec wise, maybe leadership roles, etc. They cannot imagine adding the pressure of college applications to their already full schedules.
If your D is in need of scholarship $'s to attend college, take a really close look at the websites of the schools she will be applying to. They may offer scholarships to non-music majors that are willing to audition and to play in an ensemble during their college career (which your D mentioned she may be interested in). This is also a source of instant like-minded friends. Most of these same schools will stack music scholarships on top of academic scholarships.
Music is too time consuming to continue if you’ve lost the passion. At our school in order to d jazz you must do concert band which included marching band and pep band. My kid loves to march but would have been happy to lose concert band and pep band. The other kid dropped jazz, hated pep, likes concert OK but loved to march and was a drum major. My son actually quit his sport to spend more time with jazz. I cried at the time (actual tears) because he had finally found a sport that he was really really good at. However, it was so time consuming that he couldn’t do both. He tried one year and everyone was always mad at him for juggling. Your D will be fine with applications and have a happier senior year getting to branch out and do what she wants.
again, thank you for your insight. As far as losing a group of friends, many of her really good band friends have either graduated last year or now this year. She has realized in the last year or so her love of theater, which also is quite time consuming. She has never been sports minded so I can’t imagine she will miss the football games or basketball games One other detail, that I’m sure has some impact, is that her band director is leaving to take another position when this school year ends. The band does not know who will be the new director and D does realize that she is upset with the thought of a new director for 1 year. D has been involved with a local youth orchestra for the last 2 years, but doesn’t feel that she will try out for next year. We discussed last evening that she has not enjoyed the fierce competition in the orchestra. I wonder, though, if she drops band, if the orchestra would be easier for her to manage.
She made an appointment with her HS counselor for tomorrow. We will discuss tonight what she will talk with her about. I know she wants to add in another course so will have to see what is available for next year.
Let her enjoy theater…if she really doesn’t want to do band anymore.
I will say…(sort of off topic) our school band marched in one fall festival, and played at one basketball game…period. Both of my kids were excellent musicians who also would have quit band if marching band or pep band had been more time consuming than one gig each.
She wants to take another art class- that says it all. Perfect!
Our story. DD, who was part of band from 6th grade on, including as drum major for Sophomore through Senior marching season, up and quit band in January of senior year. The minor satisfaction she experienced at being able to walk away from an awful band director (and as parent, I would agree that this guy was difficult and hard to work with), was quickly eclipsed by regret at missing out on all of the senior goodbyes in band - last performance, last banquef, etc. Most of her good friends were still in band and she felt she missed out. Not quite the same situation as OP, but ultimately my D regretted rejecting her longtime activity during senior year.
My son’s school has a similar all or nothing band policy - he hates marching but really enjoys the jazz band. Every year a few kids are inexplicably able to choose one or the other. He was on the verge of quitting band altogether when i suggested he approach the leader with a strong interest in continuing jazz but, a very full schedule. He came out of the discussion exempt from the concert/marching band requirement. It never hurts to ask for an exception.
As others have said, it is probably a non-issue - but, it may depend on her other qualifications and the schools ad field of study she’s interested in.
This question came up for our now 29 year old, senior year of high school. To give you an idea of how much of an issue it is, I can’t remember what he decided.
Band was a huge 5 classes per week all year, plus one to two evening practices in the fall, one mandatory week of band camp every summer, parades almost every 3 day weekend, commitment. Whenever it ended, the family gained some time for other pursuits as well.