I have read that one way to instill self-confidence in kids is through outdoor activities - skiing, biking, hiking, running, etc. I believe that thoroughly. You don’t have to be an athlete, but activity increases endorphins, which makes you happier, and thus more self-confident. (This is all IMO). Our S is one of the most self-confident people I know. We took him everywhere with us. At three years old, he was with us on a cave-exploration expedition, meeting the other kids in camp and having a great time. But I think those experiences (plus the above - running, hiking, camping, skiing, and other outdoorsy things) had an influence on his success in college.
I know it is not necessary. My friends’ son seemed to me to be a recipe for disaster in college, but when he got away from home, he absolutely blossomed into the happiest kid you ever saw. He was finally in his element.
But I have not seen anything written about this. Is it true that self-confidence equals college success? Any others have experience with this.
OK, OK, I get the point. But seriously I may have it backwards: instead of outdoorsy thing leading to self-confidence, perhaps self-confidence leads to activities (although not necessarily outdoorsy ones).
Self-confidence will help students not only with success not only in college but in life. However, I’d disagree with your premise that self-confidence is gained through outdoor activities. It worked out that way for your family and that is great but I would argue that the self-confidence came not from being outside but more from strong family support and meeting with success doing something that was enjoyed by all.
Hard work at college is equal success at college.
I do not even know what self-confidence means. There are very confident people out there who I will never listen, they are simply liars. Confidence has to be “earned”, it has to be supported by certain level of background in specific area. If person is confident in everything (if "self-confidence means that), than the person is simply a liar, nobody can have a certain level of background in everything in a world. I never trust such people.
I think self-confidence is very helpful–especially if it is based in actual competence. My observation among my kids and their friends was that the most effective activity for generating well-founded self-confidence was Scouting. Maybe the outdoor thing is part of it, but I think the emphasis on skills and actual leadership was also important.
Miami, what on earth are you talking about (I’ve actually wanted to say that for a while)?? We are not talking about arrogant, self-centered people, we are talking about self-confident people. There is a huge difference.
And while hard work certainly increases your chances for success in college, it’s not a proven formula for success. I knew many who worked hard but still didn’t have a grasp of the material. I also knew plenty who did no work and got straight A’s. Plus, I hate to get all CC here, but what exactly is “success” in college? Grades? Relationships? Learning a critical way of thinking about problems? Maturing to a new level of self-sufficiency??
Cameron,
What is a point of your arguing with me? Nobody is asking us to compare our backgrounds. We all have different lives / different backgrounds. Based on our specific backgrounds, you like self-confident people and I do not.
I am not confident person myself. But do not waste your time trying to argue with me. I have no confidence in anything, I question everything in a world, but I am exceptionally stubborn, so whatever opinion you have, it is yours, but I will never change mine, ever in my life, everybody around me knows that I can change my opinion only based on some acts, words mean nothing to me, just an air moving from somebody’s mouth.
Everybody also knows that working hard is not the same by different people’s definition. Some sit thee and text all the time and stare into the wall trying to understand something where they lack background. I do not consider this “hard work” and real hard work. Hard work also includes seeking help when appropriate, We are talking about UG education here, we are not talking about PhD in mathematics or anything of this nature.
Self-confidence will burn while unsure person who will seek help even to just confirm her own understanding of the concept, even if all prior confirmation have been absolutely positive in her entire life, this person will be way ahead of many others. She will not sit at her desk staring at the wall trying to guess. Nope, she will make sure that she is familiar with the material as good as she possibly can and then if in slightest doubt, she will seek to confirm. And that is a real hard work and it will result in straight A’s in the hardest academic material in the UG. There are no exceptions. Sorry if your background tells you otherwise, but I am not arguing with it, just feel sad about it.
What I mean by self-confidence is a good sense of what one’s own capabilities are, and the willingness to step forward and do what needs to be done in a situation in which those capabilities are relevant. It’s the person who says, “I’ll take care of it,” and who does so, because he or she knows that he or she can, in fact, take care of it. One reason I mentioned Scouting is that it nurtures this kind of “can do” attitude. It’s a different matter, of course, if somebody claims to be able to things but can’t really do them.
I think happy1 has it right-strong family support and success at something the kid enjoys. That might actually change over time. My D is an amazing, self-confident young lady, but actively dislikes the outdoors. She’s a city kid through and through. She did take dance for 10 years from a wise beyond his years young man who fostered self confidence and encouraged the kids to work hard at whatever they did, to believe in themselves, and to never stop trying. While she has since moved on to another form of dance and many other EC’s those lessons are still with her.
Meanwhile, her older sister, while loves the outdoors and all the things the OP mentions, as well as others like ice climbing and white-water rafting, she is not as self-confident as he would have you believe this would make her. I’ve long suspected it’s related to her father’s and my divorce and all that came with that. But my point is that just being outdoors and becoming adept at outdoor activities doesn’t mean much by itself.
200% agree with this. It’s the secret ingredient, IMO.
I have no statistics to go on here, but speaking from personal experience, those who were able to separate personal life from school/career usually did quite well in college (and ended up in good careers).
It doesn’t have to be outdoor activities either… rather, any hobbies/passions that you enjoy outside of school/career. These things help you to develop a personal identity, which in turn helps to build self-confidence. Having an identity and self-confidence will give you peace of mind that there is more to life than academics/career. It’s that last part that’s so important to succeeding IMO.
There was an interesting international math study several years ago where students were given a test and then asked how they “felt” about it afterwards. American kids had the highest confidence… and the lowest scores. Outside the U.S. the students that felt the most insecure in their performance had the highest scores. Confidence isn’t a promise for ability nor success. Sometimes the most capable understand that there is always someone smarter and always something more they have to learn.
What we perceive as confidence in children is sometimes just personality. The introverted can be seen as lacking in confidence when it’s really just personality. Some extroverts come off as out-going and confident when they have very little faith in their abilities.
Does confidence help in college? Well sure. Confidence in ones ability to learn is incredibly helpful. Heading in with “I’m really smart”… not so much. I don’t put a whole lot of stock in outward or social confidence in high school being key to college success though. Tons of kids are insecure in high school because there is such a narrow band of acceptability. These kids get into college where being smart can be highly attractive and blossom. I’ve seen the reverse happen as well. Kids who seemed on top in high school with little reason to question their abilities can fall apart in college when they suddenly aren’t the best.
Anything you have to work at to master contributes self-confidence and your potential for success. For some, maybe it’s sports. For others, it’s foreign languages.
"My answer to the question is NO. But the lack of self-confidence is prone to failure. "
-Again, everybody operates based on their background. In my background and in my job position, I should always assume that I know nothing and ask. It is my jobs responsibility to first and foremost to collect the information and assume that I know absolutely nothing, Otherwise, my previous experience may lead me to incorrect decision. So, even when I simply talk to my family members, I always point out to this, simply that assumption is irrelevant, every piece of information needs to be collected, but sometime it is not appropriate to ask certain questions. Then, you have to back off and do not input any further to the process. It happens over and over and over in life and on the job(s). People who tend to be confident about everything in their lives and surroundings, tend to be wrong over and over and over and then you just stop asking them. How you can tell if they are wrong if they have the same degree of confidence and never show any doubts. And I am not talking about arrogant, those simply do not belong in the field that I am in or my H. is in or any of my family members, so I do not know them.
Just like with everything, there needs to be a balance. Too much either way can negatively impact one’s life & level of success. In addition, confidence can be task specific. Someone can be a “non risk-taker” & thus be unwilling to partake in some of the more adventourus outdoor / water activities, but completetely confident in every other aspect of their lives.
My son is in a mountaineering group and the graduates are a high achieving bunch. Hiking and camping, the way most people do it, probably does not qualify. Hiking up to 10,000 feet in winter and camping in a hand-dug snow cave would qualify. Learning to test physical and emotional boundaries helps cope with testing the intellectual ones.
Running cross-country, even at the JV level, is another thing I highly recommend.
Confidence is kids asking for help, not thinking they don’t need it. That would be delusion.
That’s an interesting result, but I don’t think doing well on a math test is necessarily a good predictor of “success.” There are plenty of successful people who aren’t so good at math. I think it depends on the career path, but in many (like sales, for example), I think self-confidence is important to success.
I was an academic success in college and other than the required tap dance class (there was a one semester PE requirement) never did anything athletic or adventurous.
You can be high achieving without digging a snow cave or sweating/freezing.