Does this essay deserve a 6?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>this is my OCT SAT essay:</p>

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<p>please be honest :)</p>

2

<p>No.</p>

<p>It’s as bad as mine.</p>

<p>And I got 10.</p>

<p>Or maybe it’s a tiny bit better? Well, your example certainly is, on the other hand, it’s shorter…but…I really messed up by the end, so…who knows?</p>

<p>Not 12-worthy for sure…but considering my score, I wouldn’t have been surprised by 10 or 11.</p>

3

<p>nope. 8-9 range imo.</p>

4

<p>i do have a question, do markers really read the essay off the computer? that would suck bad… i barely could read a few lines of yours and my eyes hurt :P</p>

5

<p><a href=“http://i51.■■■■■■■.com/1zp46xu.jpg[/url]”>http://i51.■■■■■■■.com/1zp46xu.jpg&lt;/a&gt;
<a href=“http://i53.■■■■■■■.com/n3mc87.jpg[/url]”>http://i53.■■■■■■■.com/n3mc87.jpg&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Some people say, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do,” meaning that when you are in a new culture, place, or setting, it is best to change your behavior to adapt to the rules and customs of your new surroundings. But does that old saying still apply in today’s world? Isn’t the world better off when people facing a change–whether it is a transfer to a new school, the start of a new job, or travel to a foreign country–retain their individuality and way of life instead of changing?</p>

<p>ASSIGNMENT: Should people adapt to their new surroundings, or should they refuse to change? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations</p>

<p>Got 7 points for this, rewriting in december, which aspect of the essay did I mess up?
Does this essay deserve only 7 points?</p>

6

<p>:( i got a 6 though! ***?</p>

7

<p>glebshes, please dont hijack my thread :(</p>

8

<p>haha will ich nicht tun, es passt nur zur thema</p>

9

<p>Do you mean a 6/6 or a 6/12?</p>

10

<p>essay are graded almost entirely by length, that is the reason you failed</p>

11

<p>6/12 …
i dont see WHY</p>

12

<p>No, you deserved the 6. I don’t know why someone said it deserved to be an 8 or 9. o.o So what’s wrong was you barely explained why it’s necessary for harmonic unification.
You have the ideas, but you didn’t give any concrete examples. For example, in the current events paragraph, you said there are tensions between groups that are causing injustice especially in social issues. Well, can you back that up with some examples of injustice? Don’t just state it, but back it up with examples, even if you have to make them up lol. Also, you have to tie it back in with your thesis–which is to create harmonic unification. I couldn’t read the 2nd paragraph so I can’t tell you much there. But it seemed to be lacking in examples too.</p>

13

<p>Your essay is really short and the examples are poorly developed. Your second paragraph is only one sentence (from what I can tell) and your next one is only two sentences. Merely listing examples won’t help. You need to explain your examples and how they support your stance; your examples don’t explain AT ALL why people need to adapt.</p>

14

<p>Essays are not graded on length. I filled EVERYTHING and had a good essay and got a 8.</p>

15

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<p>No, but there is a strong correlation between length and scores (i.e. longer essay–>higher score). Admittedly, correlation is not causation, but it’s something to think about.</p>

16

<p>Think about it: Readers have like 2 minutes to read, assess and grade. They WILL look at length as one of your essays primary factors. My essay got a 9 and I’m sure it’s because my words were too small and couldn’t fill the whole 2 pages. I know I got over 400 words because I wrote like mad for 20 minutes, but my score was still below 10.</p>

17

<p>essay is short, bodies are not concrete and are very general, thesis is kind of weak. deserved the 6 imo</p>

18

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Oh ap stats…</p>

<p>Yes, the scores are primilarily based on the lengths of your examples. My essay had 20+ grammar errors and many punctuation errors. I made up names, examples, and events in my essay. Though, I bs`ed very well and wrote about 1.5 pages.</p>

<p>Got a 9.</p>

19

<p>Length, in itself, has nothing to do with your score. </p>

<p>You got a poor score because you used little reasoning in your essay. Reasoning is the main part of the essay as well as, in whole, the test. (It’s called the “SAT Reasoning Test” for a reason.) In your essay, you merely stated the idea behind each of the two examples. This does nothing by itself. An example supports statements; it is not an important statement in itself. The statements that the example backs up are the important elements of the SAT essay or any essay in general. </p>

<p>You talked about the issues that face refugees and immigrants. This is far from the thesis, which is that adapting to a new environment is a necessity. You went into each body paragraph stating one of your two examples. You didn’t even make a single statement about the thesis or your argument. You just talked about the details of your examples.</p>

<p>Here is a thesis followed by a body paragraph with only examples and very little reasoning, logic, argument, critical thinking, etc. Notice how it incorporates only details of the example, which are useless by themselves since they do not have anything to do with the argument and don’t display your reasoning and critical thinking at all.

Now here is the same topic and structure, this time with much reasoning and many connections to the thesis:

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<p>Notice how the second version omits some details of the example from the first version. This is because the most important part is the connection of the example to the actual argument, not the discussion of the example. THE SECOND VERSION ACTUALLY ANSWERS THE QUESTION Is it better to be realistic or optimistic? WHILE THE FIRST VERSION ONLY DISCUSSES CONSEQUENTIALISM, WHICH IS IRRELEVANT BY ITSELF.</p>

<p>When you are writing the SAT essay, do not just put down what you know or what you memorized about your examples. Always feel the need to answer the question in different ways. Develop your thesis. Your examples should only be supplementary. That is, they should support your actual argument, not be the actual argument itself. Examples don’t speak for themselves; you can’t just talk about some story you read or some historical event you’ve learned and then expect the reader to draw the connections and conclusions himself or herself.</p>

20

<p>the essay in post 1 should get a 7 as well I think</p>