does this make you want to read more?

<p>hey guys...</p>

<p>im writing a commonapp essay about the most influential person in my life...<br>
i wrote the first 300 words or so and i was wondering if i could get input on it.</p>

<p>i figured, i should get some opinions about waht i have so far before i try to finish it..</p>

<p>PM me if you'd care to read!
thanks</p>