<p>Hello,
I'm filling out a short answer for a transfer application - the question happens to be the "Why [university name]?"</p>
<p>For my opening I used: "I believe in following my dreams. I also believe in beginning with a clich</p>
<p>It sounds slightly cynical, I have to say, but not all that bad.</p>
<p>If you’re going to say something meaningful, I’m sure you can think of a more creative way to begin your opening.</p>
<p>I kind of like it, but I don’t see how it relates to the question.</p>
<p>I don’t know; it’s definitely something that I am fond of. However, it is quite an unnecessary, albeit clever, statement that seems better left for a blog post instead of a college application. I like that you’re going for originality, though, so keep brainstorming! :)</p>
<p>Umm do you guys think I hace a chance of going to OSU
GPA
3.2
3.7
3.6
3.8
ACT is 28
French-2 Credits
Earth Science Club
Sports
Never get in trouble</p>
<p>I think that it’s much more original to just come up with a hook that’s good without relying on sarcasm. After reading way too many of these essays, I find sarcasm to be a turn off. It’s easy. Being sincere is far more endearing.</p>
<p>It kind of depends on the school. If its somewhere like a liberal arts college or maybe UChicago then it’s probably something they would appreciate. If it’s a bigger institution I would try to come up with something else.</p>
<p>It’s rather uninspiring. It isn’t bad, but it doesn’t really grab the reader to delve further.</p>
<p>I agree with the general tone of the responses here. I would only add that it’s going to depend on how well you later make your meaningful point. </p>
<p>I might put the paragraph aside and brainstorm up a few options. There’s always a better idea just around the corner!</p>
<p>I’m kind of after the Randy Pausch school of thought: earnestness wins over wittiness/sarcasm/overly-hipness in the end. Why be flippant when you can be sincere?</p>
<p>I’m a huge fan of light humor and sarcasm, but for college essays I feel your sentence sounds like you’re mocking the system of college-essay-writing. If you could make the mockery sound more gentle and indulgent (“I know it’s a little ridiculous but I’m still earnest and serious about this essay”) then it sounds a lot better.</p>