does this sound good?

Applying to College
1

Prompt:
“the more we are educated, the more we discorver about our own ignorance” what do u hope education will help u discover of your own ignorance.

They say all through your life, you never stop learning. Learning and education are more than academics; they involve willingness to open your mind to new ideas, new cultures, and new ways of looking or perceiving things. However, challenging things that Ilearned at “our mother’s and/or father’s knee,” is not an easy venture.

From the time I was born, I was taught simple “truths:” “Don’t talk to strangers,” “Fire is bad and will burn you.” We are given clear boundaries: “Never touch the stove,” “Stay in our yard.” I was provided with “black and white” rules. Sense my reasoning was not developed; I learned there is one “right way” to do things, and I must mimic it to succeed.

As I matured, I learned what is “right” or is the “truth” may not be as simple, as I first thought or was taught. Fire can burn you, but it can also help (and possibly save) you by providing needed warmth. Caution concerning people you don’t know may be wise, but so is developing a rapport with them and an understanding of them. I must constantly be searching outside the box for new ideas, or a different understanding of the ones we already have.

If I am fortunate enough, my education will lead me to realize that there might be more than one “right” way to solve a problem or handle a situation. By studying different cultures, I can learn people’s perspectives on what I originally thought or was taught as a “simple black and white issue.” This will hopefully lead me to a level of thought where I can challenge not only others preconceived notions of what is right or true, but more importantly, my own.

2

<p>humm im cutting this one close to the deadline....</p>

3

<p>ne one out there?</p>

4

<p>In your second paragraph shouldn't it be SINCE my reasoning was not developed, instead of sense.</p>

<p>And in paragraph 1 I don't like the way you say They say, who is they?</p>

5

<p>If it's a college essay, I find it short, when I was reading the first two paragraphs I was asking myself "when is this person going to answer the question?" </p>

<p>If you don't plan on working on it anymore, I would recommend to put the last paragraph as the first paragraph. Because if you do that, your answering the question and your following it with examples in life you've had. I don't know but that's what I think. I'm not sure if I'm write or wrong, I'm not anEnglish 800 SAT scorer like other people here who can help you out.</p>

6

<p>what would u prefer over "they"...i ? this at first but then figured it was understood..and w/ it being a common expression....</p>

7

<p>and it would require extensive rewording
if i were to move the paragraph</p>

8

<p>I like the opening paragraph and the ending one. In between, I wish you'd told me a story about a learning experience that caused you to challenge the simple truths you learned from your parents. Something that showed some moral complexity. If you don't want to get into major rewording, however, I'm not sure why you're asking for advice.</p>

9

<p>no its not that...its jus that he said just move it and nothing else</p>

10

<p>and i'd like to go more in depth as well...h/e they are serious about not going too far over 250 words....and i have found it quite hard to include a story while keeping even the gist of what i have written</p>

11

<p>humm ne one else got ne thing to say?</p>

12

<p>u know if 135 ppl have viewed this....why havent alot more ppl replied?</p>

13

<p>I liked it...it was concise and got to the point.</p>

14

<p>I like it quite a bit. It did seem a tiny short but if it is close to the word limit then leave it.</p>

15

<p>lol its acctually over the word limit</p>

16

<p>YOU'RE cutting it close to the deadline-I plan on writing mine tonight! And that's the topic I chose too. But I think I'm going to give mine a humorous twist. :)</p>

17

<p>yes i thought about a humorus thing but i dad gave me a vauge outline and i jus elaborated on it...it was much easier...what did u do for u long essay?</p>