<p>I suppose technically you’re right - but I saw too many of my friends when I was in college sweating long hours at those types of jobs to ensure that they could stay in school, that it just wouldn’t feel right for me to have my kid “hijack” those jobs for spending cash. Again, I feel differently re things like tutoring, internships, career-related opportunities - I’m talking about the scooping-ice-cream kinds of jobs. FWIW, my D did work during high school at a paying job (which was also a major EC for her) and my S is working as a (paid) camp counselor this summer.</p>
<p>I feel badly that we never had “the talk” about what to do with others who either have more or some who do not. I know one rm/mt was on full FA. If son ordered a pizza and shared it, fine by me. I know he went home with several people, who lived by Silicone Valley, and one who had a guest house. given that his weekend food bills were usually under $10, I suspect they chose the least expensive places. </p>
<p>It is many years later, but son and friends set a limit on what they are willing to pay for an apartment. They all want to live within their stipend and won’t splurge on better location or extra bathroom. </p>
<p>This is a great thread, as parents of freshmen can think thru how to discuss finances, based on individual values.</p>
<p>I entirely understand the charitable impulse (I was on a super-tight budget as an undergrad ). </p>
<p>There are pros and cons to working a minimum-wage type job during college even for well-off kids. Time could be spent instead on studying or more interesting/unique activities, but having to budget time and money has its own lessons. If a well-off parent felt that the advantages outweighed the negatives, they could have the kid take the job and then donate an equal amount to the school’s scholarship fund. </p>
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<p>D1 said that her carte blanche friends will tell her “oh no problem, my treat”, but she doesn’t necessarily want that, either. Always being on the receiving end of generosity is its own problem. Which isn’t to say bookworm that your S shouldn’t be sharing pizzas! :)</p>
I was going to respond pretty much as ‘oldfort’ did on this one - there’s more to be gained from a p/t job than just the spending money although that’s useful as well. I have no doubt my kids’ p/t jobs have helped them in their progression to other jobs including career jobs. It also opened their eyes and exposed them to different areas and in the case of one kid, resulted in a change of direction in the career path including grad school (these weren’t cafeteria jobs - not there’s anything wrong with that).</p>
<p>Colleges already have ‘work-study’ jobs and other jobs and mine worked non work-study jobs. I don’t think they hijacked some financially desperate student’s opportunities.</p>
<p>I certainly wouldn’t advise my kids to ‘not’ pursue an on-campus or near-campus p/t job opportunity (and pay them not to work) on the off chance that someone more needful of the job might possibly have landed that job and it happened to be that poor student’s only job opportunity.</p>
<p>My son is still in HS and has one of our credit cards with his name. I am planning to get him his own for college to build his credit. He uses the one now for lunches and misc meals out but he always calls me if he want to use it for a bigger purchase. He is pretty frugal so I don’t worry he will overspend. </p>
<p>I think each family has different dynamics about what to spend money on. I wouldn’t want him feel he could not enjoy leaving campus for a meal sometimes, like he is locked in there and can’t enjoy going for a coffee downtown. One should be able to have some life away from a college campus.</p>
<p>You must not have read by posts. I never said that anybody who has more than me is spoiled. I said that any student that gets a $200 allowance (or any allowance in college) is spoiled.</p>
<p>College should be the time you learn independence. If students are being handed $200 every month by mommy and daddy, I really feel sorry for those people when they are in the “real world” and have to actually earn their own money and try to manage their spending.</p>
<p>Why would you feel sorry for them? Are you making the assumption that they wouldn’t be able to make much money or their inability to manage money. What if I were to tell you that my kid is doing just fine. She is living in the real world, has a good job and is living on her own.</p>
<p>Feel sorry for them if they get an allowance in college? Why are people so judgemental?
Mine both had their own cards and paid off the balance each month, but we also gave them $150 for food and incidentals, so I’m sure some of that went to the cards. My son spent more than that each month, as he had a car to support. But he always had jobs at school, too.
He got a good position very soon after graduation and manages his money very well. Both of my kids have been entirely self-supporting since graduating. I have no regrets that we supported our kids through college, and I know we were fortunate to be able to do it. Nothing to feel sorry for, here, believe me.</p>
<p>This is resentment masquerading as pity. Someone given $200/month is on a budget. They’ve got $200 a month to spend on fun stuff to do as they want. They’re learning to manage their own money. </p>
<p>There are lots of students who end up running into budgeting trouble in the real world. Most of them didn’t get extra money from their parents after high school. If parents knew that they were ruining their children’s futures by giving them money, then not a single well-off kid would get any extra cash in college. Oddly enough, that’s not what happens. :)</p>
<p>Pity for me that I didn’t get a $200 a month allowance? lol Now, that is a good one. I am glad I acted as a responsible adult in college, learned to become independent, and learned to manage money without my parent’s help. I am glad and proud I didn’t have to rely on my parents for my spending money.</p>
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<p>$200 a month in spending money in college is on a "budget?? Wow.</p>
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<p>It’s their parents money, not their money. It’s not their money until they earn it.</p>
<p>No way would my parents ever consent to it. I have a credit card that I use for my own incidentals and pay off with my own money that I make from my job, although I can admit that many kids (my roommate last year included) are paid for by their parents, and this includes credit, and even debit, cards. </p>
<p>I was proud of my D and her roommates who were aware of the issue. Two of the eight friends didn’t have a lot of money, so the roommates kept that in mind when planning things.</p>
<p>You misunderstand. You’re saying that you feel pity for those who didn’t learn to manage on their own. </p>
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<p>Shrug. Everyone gets to choose the financial dynamics for their own family. As long as people end up living within their (legally acquired) means, that qualifies in my book as being able to manage their spending. New college grads flush with earning $60k or more a year in a high-demand field can get into just as much budget trouble as a wealthy scion with similar trust-fund income.</p>
<p>As soon as I give my kid money, it’s no longer mine. It’s theirs. If they chose not to spend it on incidentals, they could bank it. We don’t come back and say, hey, give back what you didn’t spend.<br>
I sure am glad my Dh doesn’t feel like the money I have in my bank account(from his salary, mostly) isn’t mine because I didn’t “earn” it. I guess some men do feel that their wives spend “their” money when they shop. I would never have made it in a marriage like that.</p>
<p>lol You’re completely missing the point and I don’t even know how giving a student $200 a month in allowance equates to a husband and wife situation.</p>
<p>LOL… that thought crossed my mind often while reading this thread. But, then again, I had all the answers in my mid 20’s also - seem to have gotten dumber along the way :D. </p>
<p>As someone whose parents kept them on a very very tight financial leash - due to a long list of issues on their part, not due to a true lack of $$ - I can relate to the buzz of resentment coming through in insomniatic’s posts. My parents have loosened their purse strings tremendously over the past decades (again, due to way more detail that I wish to address here). They are generous not only with their own kids but also with their grand kids. And, guess what…it brings them an amazing amount of joy and they often admit regret at not having done so earlier in their lives. (AFTER their kids proved fiscal responsibility - which we did by about …oh 12)</p>
<p>So…I can hear it now…yes… insomniatic…my kids are spending not only MY money but also grandma and grandpa’s and everyone is oh so okay with that setup.</p>
<p>No one is spoiled, no one carries a sense of entitlement, everyone doing just fine managing their resources and everyone know not only how to say ‘thank you for the unexpected gift’ but also…‘hey let me pick up the tab’…life is good.</p>
<p>And, in the karma of coming full circle… my parents have given both my sister and I one of their CC’s…they are older and we help them manage their accounts, and sometimes they will say…hey…such and such is on us…go for it.</p>
). </p>