<p>Actually I’ve noticed that many of the parents have quite a objective view of their children, especially as the kids grow into adults.
There isn’t anything noble about doing without.</p>
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<p>I have a job that I love that supports me well. I have a roommate in an apartment and a car I maintain. To be specific I just got the oil change and got the tires rotated 8 days ago. 
I graduated with a BBA and I am extremely happy moving forward in my life. I have 4 close friends that I value dearly and I would do anything for them and they would do anything for me. I’ve known 2 for 10 years, 1 for 6 years, and 1 for just a year. I don’t have financial support from my parents, but they support me in what I do. I get love and support from my grandparents as well and enjoy spending time with them as well. And to top it all off, I have about $40k in savings from money that I earned from working.</p>
<p>I consider anybody a “success” (no mater what age) to be somebody who is independent and who has a job that they they love and is passionate about.</p>
<p>It sounds like you are doing very well! You and my 23 year old are in very similar places in life, it seems. His job is in the public sector working in a public policy position, and he really enjoys it, although isn’t as lucrative as something he might do in the private sector. And, like your folks, we also support what he does, although not financially since he graduated two years ago.</p>
<p>So why all the energy toward parents who feel it’s their obligation to support their kids through college? You have over 75 posts on this thread, lol!</p>
<p>I hope that you can come to value other people and their choices as you go through life, without having to put down those who don’t think like you do. You have called our kids spoiled and the parents delusional. I don’t sense there is a lot of respect from you for the parents on this board–unless they agree with you. Your opinions would hold a lot more weight with those you are trying to influence if you were more respectful.</p>
<p>I get that your folks didn’t give you extra spending money. So what. You managed very well. My kids have lived with my having Stage IV cancer. They deal. Sometimes there are other ways of learning independence and gaining maturity that aren’t measured in dollars and cents.<br>
Use your passion and persistence on something meaningful. This is a waste of your time.</p>
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<p>lol I guess it’s just from personal experiences seeing some kids spoiled and then turning out to be adults who are not independent people and who get into debt. </p>
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<p>I am sorry to hear that. I wish you all the best with your cancer.</p>
<p>I know it’s a waste of time, but sometimes people get me so irritated. I guess that sometimes this site can get addicting and I have let it get to me. </p>
<p>Have a great night/day moonchild.</p>
<p>If a parent feels their child is a success, I take them at their word. It isn’t necessary for them to justify it with evidence that may or may not match my opinion of success.</p>
<p>I agree with EK- posters in this and other threads are typically quite balanced in their view of their children. And as moonchild has so poignantly addressed, families my face many more than financial challenges. They may live with parents or grandparents with medical or mental health issues, they may have their own medical or mental health issues, they may have learning challenges to deal with. </p>
<p>The goal for our kids, whether it involves the original purpose of this discussion or not (letting them use our credit cards for meals) is for them to become responsible, independent adults. And there are many, many paths to that goal. Some stray off that path during their journey, but hopefully will all catch that golden ring in the end.</p>
<p>Best to you and your family, moonchild.</p>
<p>Insomniatic, not that it’s any of your business, but I came from a modest background, my mother remarried, and over the years my new father did exceedingly well. Surely you can understand that it’s possible to live modestly at 6 and lavishly by the time I went off to college. Or doesn’t your world permit that? It’s called the American dream.</p>
<p>If my daughter wants to use her work/study earnings to dine out, go for it. She is aware that I will have no spare cash to send her after paying 200% of our federal EFC for tuition/room/board; she has a generous meal plan with choices that I wish someone would cook for me around here; and that I certainly will not be covering meals out.</p>
<p>No, I’m not saying that to other parents. I don’t discuss my kids’ allowances in real life, only on this board. But insomniatic seemed to think it was important that 95% of parents don’t give $200/ mo allowances, and what other people do or don’t do isn’t my problem. Should it be?</p>