<p>I actually share that opinion. (I might argue that work isn’t ALL about the money, but that’s a different discussion.) Mine have always worked-- as early as 12. They certainly learned early on the rewards of earning your own money, and how hard it is to come by and how quickly it goes. But I don’t agree that helping your kid pay for what really are necessities in college- at least in my book- that aren’t covered by the university fees is taking anything away from that learning process.
I suppose we could argue about what constitutes necessities vs. enjoyments, but that would vary so much by circumstance and values. Suffice to say that I wanted my kids to eat well, go to the cultural events in their cities that enhanced their once-in-a lifetime educations, and to be generous in whatever social situation they found themselves. This is something WE wanted for them and were willing to supplement with a little extra.
Also, I know my kids. They’re cheap!!! They do not spend frivolously.</p>
<p>Don’t believe in anything Donald Trump said. S was in the same class as Ivanka Trump after her transfer from Georgetown and knew her. Perhaps their expenditures in college were from a trust fund rather than a $200 check directly from the Donald.</p>
<p>He also said his children never smoked…
Sure !!!</p>
<p>It’s not my experience at all. My H and I were both fully-paid-for, had allowances throughout college, got brand new cars as graduation gifts, etc. – we were incredibly fortunate, and we were incredibly grateful too. We worked / work extremely hard in our businesses and are excellent money managers. We’re pleased to give our children the same gifts we were privileged to have and I resent the implication that “they won’t have an appreciation.” They appreciate full well how fortunate they are esp compared to their friends who are working several jobs to stay in school.</p>
<p>My kids SAVE most of their allowance anyway - we need to encourage them to spend it! You’re off base that it just teaches them to spend, spend, spend.</p>
<p>I don’t. H and I <em>want</em> them to spend it. They’re only young once and we want them to have fun exploring the cities that their colleges are located in, going to concerts, having fun with friends, etc. They’re going to start out their young adult working lives with excellent educations without a penny of debt, new cars, whatever wardrobes or other accoutrements they need - they’ll be able to support themselves just fine at that point and I’m not worried. Let them enjoy when they have the time / opportunity. Too bad not every family can do that for their kids, but that’s not my problem.</p>
<p>You know, I can’t remember whose money I used for spending money in college. I know I had money from babysitting and summer jobs and I remember standing in line at the cashier’s office to cash checks, but I don’t know if it was my money or money from my parents. This was a very long time ago - 1968. Whichever it was, I guess I learned to be independent one way or another.</p>
<p>Our kids had spending money provided to cover expenses and incidentals. That amount went up when they lived off campus. We didn’t pay their bills (rent, utilities, car-related expenses, etc)directly, but yes, we helped with some funds to cover some of these costs. We did not want to micromanage. We sat down with each of them before school started and discussed a budget. They have each generated their own income since HS, but we were happy to help defray college related expenses (direct and indirect). Our kids have learned to manage their funds, budget , pay bills on time, save, invest and be appreciative of their parents, the work/time it takes to generate income, and the gift of beig taught how to manage money. We make no excuses for the choices we made for our family.We are thrilled with the results.</p>
<p>I THINK people enjoy telling others how “privileged” they are/were or how they were “fortunate” enough to not have loans because their parents paid their school for them. My dad remarried into a very, very, VERY wealthy family, and my mother didn’t. Before they got divorced, we had very little. You can go back in the tread and read my spiel about how my parents never helped me etc etc but that’s not the point I’m trying to make. I’m saying that I’ve seen both ends of the polls here. As a child we had very little, then my dad remarried and moved me to FL where we lived on an island near Miami in a $900,000 house near my grandparents who lived in a house twice the cost. Then I turned 18 and was kicked out. Now I have nothing again, and I’ve managed to move back to my hometown and have made it by ALL on my own. I’ve learned that (subconsciously or not) people enjoy telling others how good they had/have it which makes this a pointless battle. Those who haven’t had the luxury of money are ALWAYS going to be jealous and bothered by those who buy their children a lot, pay for school, give them credit cards etc. And those with lots of money will ALWAYS get all butt hurt and defensive when those without money call them on it. I SAY, let it be. Neither one of you will convince the other to understand where your coming from and all were doing is blowing up a thread with pointless banter. I’ve said my two cents. The end.</p>
<p>That I will disagree with. Like I stated before, I am very glad I learned independence by using my money that I earned to buy things instead of being handed money.</p>
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<p>After 23 pages of this, I totally agree. :)</p>
<p>I absolutely disagree with you. I’ve done it on my own. Do I wish sometimes that I had help? Yes. Am I bitter or bothered? Absolutely not. Working and paying my own way, while very difficult, has given me a level of maturity and independence that I wouldn’t trade for anything.</p>
<p>I think what insomniatic wants those of us who have helped our kids by giving them financial support in college to say is, “Oh, yes, you’re right. We have robbed our kids of the opportunity to be independent. They will never appreciate the value of money nearly as much as you do. We were so wrong and now our kids are spoiled and don’t appreciate us or the value of a dollar because we supported them through college.”</p>
<p>Except it’s not true. My kids, many of their friends, and others on this board, apparently, have very successful kids who are well adjusted, happy, and self-sufficient, and who love and appreciate the help they received. But he can’t acknowledge it. We must be delusional.</p>
<p>I totally agree that it would have been nice to have spending money handed to me every now and then. But, like romani said, I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything and it taught me so much about myself and it made me value the meaning of a dollar even more.</p>