<p>GFG’s story about her D is sad and important but IMO all this serious argument over t-shirts makes the discussion on the “Mullet Afficianados” forum look downright intellectual. Wear them, don’t wear them, who cares? Really.</p>
<p>PS Is the spelling correct in my prior post- afficianado? Afficionado? Or does it start with “o”. No spell check on my pda, no dictionary. I’d at least like to learn somerthing after bothering to read this thead. ;)</p>
<p>bovertine-my online dictionary lists both “afficionado” and “aficionado” as correct spellings.</p>
<p>Funny twist on this topic: My S’s school had a poetry slam Thurs. night. I went because S was reading a poem. The Val of the senior class got up to read his poem. We all knew he’d been accepted to Yale, Stanford and USC, among others, but he hadn’t decided where to go. Well, he got up to the mic, and was wearing a Stanford tee shirt. So during intermission, I went up to him to pat him on the back and say, “Congratulations, I see you’ve decided!” pointing to his chest. And Val says, “Huh? No…I’m going to USC!” Puzzled face from me. Then Val says, “Hey, Stanford sent me a free shirt; I’m not going to junk it.”</p>
<p>Thanks nrds. I managed to miss both correct spellings.;)</p>
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<p>Sounds like you just egged them all on. Wouldn’t you have been far more effective if you had ignored their comments and let them fall to the floor? Every post of yours is just so … desperate that others think a certain way about / approve of your actions. By spending the time to concoct a story, you were letting them know you cared what they thought.</p>
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<p>Taking the time to concoct a story? Nope. That came in a flash. </p>
<p>One benefit from being around a group of smart-alecky friends who felt the whole situation with those jerky classmates was ridiculous and thought “turnabout is fair play”. It also helps that we had the smart-alecky poke fun at the authority/establishment vibe within all of us. :D.</p>
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<p>As I said before…the above suggestion is of the type made by well-meaning, but sheltered parents…especially mothers who don’t really understand how bullying dynamics in certain environments worked.</p>
<p>IME, the very act of ignoring the bullies eggs the bullies to escalate their actions into greater viciousness and even violence. In those situations, it’s better to try getting a teacher/admin involved or if that didn’t work as was often my experience…confronting and meeting them head on was much more effective.</p>
<p>TheGFG: Some food for thought about your daughter running track, coming from a track nerd: The justifications for your daughter only being allowed to run 1 event is silly and unfair, but it may be a blessing in disguise. A lot of high school track coaches will overwork their best runners by making them run in 3 or 4 events per meet, with meets occurring once a week for about 2.5 months in a season. This intense win-at-all-costs tactic leaves a lot of talented runners burnt out, injured, or peaking at the wrong point in the season. So while only running 1 event a meet may not be as fun for your daughter, it may help her perform her best come conferences, states, or whatever important meet occurs at the end of the season.</p>
<p>we are becoming such a soft country…</p>
<p>What “violence” would they have perpetuated if they didn’t approve of the schools that you / your friends got in? What, were you shoved up against lockers because you weren’t going to Ivy League schools? Your stories still don’t smack of realism.</p>
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<p>I don’t know, I’m thinking an environment where the results of college acceptances (which come down to Ivy vs. slightly lesser yet still prestigious elite LACs and state flagships) hold so much importance that they lead to “violence” and “trauma” is a pretty sheltered one…</p>
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<p>That part was more my general K-8 experience in Catholic and public schools. However, the part about ignoring the problem not working was correct. </p>
<p>Best way to shut the jerks up is to go the “turnabout is fair play” route and return the taunts with good humorous retorts laced with some sarcasm. </p>
<p>Another is to turn the tables on them as some friends did to the few jerky Harvard admits who ended up working with them in the same paid summer internship during our early college years. It wasn’t too long before hearing the beginning tune of the Capitol Steps’ song about the Unabomber being played from their workstation’s speakers when they were present was enough to drive them mad…especially when their supervisors joined in.</p>
<p>Yes, because clearly the Unabomber reflected on Harvard students. @@</p>
<p>My boyfriend,when I was a JR in HS ,got into Cornell and was so excited he drove the four hour trip immediately after school to buy T-shirts actually from the campus bookstore for his friends and a teacher who gave him a fantastic recommendation! He ran into school the next day announcing he was going to Cornell full ride and passed out about 10 T-shirts. Everyone was happy for him, he’d talked about it since 3rd grade! So there was really no stopping his announcement, and I got a T-shirt out of it! He stayed at Cornell through his PhD in Physics.</p>
<p>I have a few family members and long term friends who have spent an unusual amount of time in their own heads, replaying certain events over and over for years. In their personal head movie, some moments take on a different tone, some things become more prominent, and some things are forgotten. So much so, that when those of us who shared the same experience gather together years later, I have ended up wondering whether we were even at the same event together.</p>
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<p>Well maybe not Harvard, but he sure did stigmatize that Hoodie with Dark Glasses Look.</p>
<p>My school didn’t have any actual rules, but many suggestions that have a similar impact as this sweatshirt rule. I thought the rationale was that they wanted students making decisions based on what is best for them as individuals, and not being swayed by comments made by their peers.</p>
<p>That’s a cute story Redeye.
;)</p>
<p>I agree with everyone who is saying that students need to grow up and accept the ways of the world.</p>
<p>I have a 13 year old sister who came home from school the other day telling our mother that she could no longer wear the clothing that other students give away at Bar/Bat Mitzvahs or Sweet 16 type parties because it’s “A form of bullying” when kids are not invited.</p>
<p>That being said, I think the two situations are similar. Not everyone is going to get accepted to their top choice college or get invited to every party. Best to learn about rejection when you’re young and get over it early on.</p>
<p>I understand the ban on bar/bat mitzvah (and other major milestone parties) give aways being worn in school. For the most part, those parties are taking place during the middle school years, and the kids involved have completely different levels of maturity compared to high school seniors.</p>
<p>Our public middle school draws a very large number of wealthy Jewish families. The bar/bat mitzvah parties in seventh and eight grade are sometimes over the top, huge affairs. The most popular kids (of all faiths) are invited to many parties. It can amount to a party or two every weekend for months. The kids who aren’t part of that social scene spend every single Monday in the cafeteria hearing about the latest parties. It can be painful enough without being one of the few kids not sporting the yoga pants/ hoodie give away from the latest party. The party wear wasn’t banned when my own kids attended that school, but if that happened, I could understand the reasoning.</p>
<p>It isn’t “not getting invited to every party” so much as not getting invited to ANY party, and having new concrete evidence of that fact being seen every Monday morning, all through most of seventh and eighth grade.</p>