I feel the same. I haven’t begun to look at open houses yet. I don’t want an older condo near the ocean, after what happened in Miami. I’m also concerned about the HOAs. Mainly though, I will lose my home insurance (Amica), if I move. I would be forced to pay at least twice as much.
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I think the main reason people desire to keep a larger home is to have the ability to house their children (and any future grandchildren) all at one time for family gatherings. My dh did not want to maintain extra space that would only be used a couple of time a year at most. We only have one ds. My mil has said she doesn’t want to get rid of her home because where would we and ds sleep if she got rid of her three-bedroom place? We are never all there at the same time more than once a year. And, as I have written before in other posts, I dislike having the obligation to always stay with her. She rarely uses her formal dining and living room other than holidays. It’s just space she has to heat/cool and clean.
Perhaps people like entertaining large groups so want more space? We attended a party on Friday that had approximately 20 people. We could not comfortably do that in our condo.
My sister-in-law likes having a yard/outdoor space. I think people’s desire for that sometimes keeps them in larger homes.
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Yes. We live in a great area. We have a beach on a beautiful lake, and a small ski area near us (both of our kids ski). And our house is completely paid for…and we really like our neighbors and they don’t seem to be moving either. Only 12 houses on our street.
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I’ll stay in our house because of the neighbors. We all work together on projects many revolving around our little lake which is not easy to find in such close proximity to New York City. We can walk to the commuter rail to get to Grand Central. We have an active neighborhood association with regular neighborhood get-togethers. We’ve been an intentionally integrated neighborhood since the 1950s.
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We had the opportunity to do a major downsize when we made our last move. I felt ready to do it but my H did not. In hindsight I’m really glad we didn’t because we had a few month period where all three of us were working from home and it would have been a disaster in a tight condo.
We ended up doing a small downsize but still to a good size house by most standards. We’re getting ready to finish the basement because our house has become a bit of a family hub because of the location and we could use an extra bedroom/bath when we have a full house. We also seem to be the house that all of our D’s friends come to for NYE, 4th of July, etc… I’m happy that everyone can be comfortable.
That said, after H retires (still a long way off), I can eventually see downsizing to a condo as we really hope that we can up our travel. Just seems easier to lock up and go when there is an HOA taking care of everything else.
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Our house is not big like Texas big, not small either like a condo, about 3100 sqft, but our garden is very small yard, smaller than I like, honestly I feel crammed in some time, I look forward to do some traveling when I’m home too long. I bought this house when one kid was still at home. Now when both of them back for a visit for a longer time, it feels crowded. Maybe my husband and I are used to all this space. I have never thought about downsizing, if anything I did look recently to get a bigger yard in my hood, the older luxury homes have bigger yards but they also have multiple split levels, not something I want in old age, not the same as stairs, I do have stairs. So staying put and do more travel is the next best choice.
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We loved the house we lived in for 24 years - great house, fantastic location and yard, wonderful neighbors, etc. But we were planning to leave the area. And even if we weren’t the house was far too big for 2 people. We had so many rooms that were rarely/never used anymore.
Our new place is not small but the house has 2/3 the square footage of the prior house and the yard is a city yard so while it’s very pretty, its small. We have been here a few months now and it seems to be the right amount of space for us.
I have kept in touch with some of my former neighbors who I am friends with. They tell me the new owners have 5 children and some of them are being home schooled. It made me happy to know that the space in that house will be well used. 
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Staying put where I am for as long as possible. Got plenty of windows on the water and not about to move if I can help it.
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Our house is 3 bedrooms, 2 baths. It’s 1250 square feet. We have no particular reason nor desire to move and don’t plan to. We have no mortgage and like our neighbors and neighborhood. If our D ends up moving back to HI permanently, we may even remodel to build her a small ADU on our property.
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As I mentioned before, I downsized and regret it. Unfortunately I’m not willing to pay the inflated prices to upsize again right now so am waiting for things to cool off. I’m looking to go up to around 3,200 sq ft - 1 story, which is smaller than my last house buy would be just right.
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Our home is all one story and fairly accessible. We would have to modify at least one bathroom so it’s easier to ge5 in and out of the shower but it’s otherwise fine for aging in place. Because there is such a high/deep lip for the showers we don’t have my mom shower at our house. She can’t lift her foot and leg high enough, add soap and water and it’s even tougher.
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Inertia. Maybe someday we’ll move to a smaller place. But although we like it here very much, there’s a chance we’d move elsewhere depending on what happens with out kids.
Well…. also I like having my yard, in retirement happily tending to the things my mother planted during her decades as volunteer gardener.
As noted in other discussions, the various folks we know who did “downsize” did not decrease their expenses. In fact, often they increased. But they ended up with newer and more appropriate place for their stage in life (older than us).
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Some reasons we haven’t moved yet include we have 2 kids within an easy drive (60-90 minutes) that come visit us fairly regularly. We own our home, so doesn’t cost too much (but taxes are high). We live about halfway between DC and Baltimore, so plenty to do, and we really like our neighborhood and appreciate having lots of good docs/hospitals nearby.
When I look at other places I like, the houses are not much cheaper than what we own. To get what we want, the square footage of place will likely be similar to what we have now. If we move we do hope our taxes will be less.
Husband is retiring soon, and within the next year we will likely decide whether we are going to do a big move or not.
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Thanks so much for sharing these thoughts! So helpful to hear.
A few months ago I was all gung-ho about planning to move, finding a place that I could work in for a few more years then transition to retirement down the road…
Now just not sure. It could be b/c a recent visit to my adult son showed me that he is super happy in the western state where he relocated - but his career is still relatively new. He’s being scouted by headhunters and could end up elsewhere (in US or outside) pretty easily. Wouldn’t want to burden him by relocating to where he is, prematurely.
I’m also in the northeast - and right now it’s looking sooo beautiful with gorgeous green trees, flowers, brilliant blue skies.
I’m hearing folks who stay in their house have a lot of rewarding, gratifying connections in the area. Something to keep in mind. I’m lucky to have some really nice friends and colleagues - recreating that elsewhere is certainly possible but not guaranteed…
Thanks again!!
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I think you live next door to me 
!
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We right-sized to a location less than an hour from the house we raised our son in, so we have kept most of our old social network, and both of us have gone back to our old primary care physicians as we didn’t like the ones we tried in this new location. It was hard for me to part with the place where so many precious memories were made, so I understand that sense of sadness, but eventually I accepted that the memories reside in my mind/heart and were not lost with the house.
We are now splitting our time between a larger house in AZ and a smaller cabin in ME. I’m much happier in the cabin and can see selling the AZ house for some as-yet-unknown but smaller configuration but, while all four of our parents are alive and well and within reasonable distance of the AZ house, we’ll just wait and see as there is no compelling reason to make any changes right now. I guess I’m secretly thinking six months in a patio home in AZ and six months in the cabin in ME would be optimal for me, but DH is pretty attached to the house and won’t consider enduring any cold NE weather. I can see some serious discussions in our future.
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It’s good you’ve been pondering various scenarios. It will make you ready if some opportunity presents itself, and it enables you to better appreciate some of the advantages of your current situation.
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As much as we like to complain about our wet weather, we love it here in the PNW and have stuck around for more than 3 decades. I don’t see us moving to a new state any time soon, only if my husband gets recruited away to CA or MA (chances of which become smaller and smaller as time passes).
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As the time caregiving a parent goes on, I am getting older and I feel more inimidated about trying to settle in a new place.
A few years ago I sold my house and did an extreme downsize- got rid of almost everything and began living in seasonal rentals, while caregiving (as I have posted before). I get nice places, at great prices, furnished with everything needed- until the housing surge this year.
This year I was unable to find a summer rental. I just rented a year round apartment. Now I have to buy furniture, dishes, pots, lamps- you name it. For those thinking of a romantic nomadic period, this is one downside: accumlating all over again
I am using Facebook Marketplace and Craigslist for furniture. When my parent dies I might go back to my nomadic ways as long as I am physically able.
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So interesting to hear the rationale/decision-making processes folks use to stay in place, right-size, down-size, etc.
compmom - your nomadic journeys sound amazing! I’ll have to travel some more to see if variations on that would be something I could manage. I like the idea of a seasonal rental (rather than, say, just a few short weeks in one place).
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