<p>So I got a college professor to read my essay and he said that is was overly dramatic... is this a bad thing? I thought that it allowed me to hook the reader and keep him/her reading... any opinions?</p>
<p>Are you writing about a dramatic situation? Or is your writing just dramatic?</p>
<p>both. I am writing about the time I was in Pakistan. I explain how impoverished the people were and talked about my time helping out orphans. But my writing is also dramatic (especially the first paragraph-- the hook). I use a lot of rhetoric and a lot of imagery… is this bad? I think it keeps things interesting, but idk. So far 2 other people have said that it does indeed keep the essay interesting, but these are only high school students</p>
<p>Go with what your college professor says. Keep the hook interesting and dramatic, but try to tone it down a bit in the body of the essay unless it is absolutely necessary =)</p>
<p>hmmm… ok. It actually isn’t my professor, but a random professor I was emailing lol. I still have sometime, so I’ll probably ask my AP English teachers for advice. Thanks.</p>
<p>I think I might be hinging on the same problem. My sister (beginning college in the fall) commented that my writing style was slightly dramatic and expressive in a way that seems like I am trying to tell a story.</p>
<p>That’s just my writing style though… does anyone know if this is a problem?</p>
<p>If your applying to top schools, then there will be hundreds of other applicants writing about what a big heart they have by describing one of their community service projects (I’ve seen almost the same essay). Imagery is good, but remember to make your essay stand out with your own personal voice. Imagery is good, but too much of it is showing off to the adcoms that you know what rhetorical devices are. Make your character shine through and don’t be overly dramatic. (I wouldn’t choose this topic, but if it means that much to you, then who am I to judge?) btw, I’m also a rising senior, so I’m no expert here :P</p>
<p>@anothergalaxy- Basically, my first two paragraphs are dramatic/full of imagery. After that, I begin to talk about the actual community service and then I have a reflection paragraph… Also, I know the topic is a little cliche… But I couldnt think of anything else lol. If I do, I’ll probably use this essay as my supplement for Rice</p>
<p>If you want, you can PM me/someone else your essay and have a few other opinions on it. Making it memorable is key :)</p>