How was the experience of dropping off, helping them settle, did college arrange a welcome? Were there any parent activities? Any lunches or meetings with faculty, administration or dorm staff?
I think the idea is to get them settled-- and I realize that means different things to different people-- and then have the parents leave so the kids can begin this new phase.
My daughter likes ORDER. So I imagine we’ll help her unpack and get much of her stuff into a place before leaving. With my son 2 years ago we made a point of getting to the bookstore to pick up his bundle of books and pay for them… Since we got my daughter’s used online, that won’t be necessary.
But to the best of my knowledge, neither school had any sort of activities that really encourage parents to stick around.
What you don’t want is for your child to be “that kid!” whose parents couldn’t take a hint.
I see it in my high school as the parents drop off the freshmen for the first time. We sometimes have to very gently let the parents know that “We’ll take very good care of him from this point onward.” and to say goodbye.
We are leaving this morning for drop off!
There is a dorm meeting this afternoon at 4 pm so that’s when we will hit the road home. We are planning on helping her make her bed and empty stuff so we can take the empties home.
Tomorrow there is a new student invocation that parents are welcomed too but kids sit with their orientation groups so it would have been awkward/harder to say goodbye so we are just leaving today.
@momofsenior1, so her bed will be made exactly once in the entire school year, right?
We always made a big deal of drop off coming several days early to explore the town, pick up from target and bed bath and beyond. We went out for a nice family meal and then spent hours helping the. Set up rooms but leaving and saying goodbye just before dinner. This was what was right for our family. And we’ve done it 7 times now between the two kids.
We’ve never “left them on their own to figure out organizing things “as I’ve seen some on CC suggest. And freshman year at our kids school almost no one did that.
4pm-ish seems to be pretty much standard as far as I’ve seen. That gives time to actually get the stuff unpacked and some sort of order put into the room. But by dinner time, they’ll want to be on their own.
We dropped out son for freshman year last year. We unloaded and we got his bed made and some stuff unpacked before taking him out for a nice late lunch/early dinner, hit Walmart for a couple of forgotten items. When we got back his roommate had arrived and had his bed set up. We chatted with his family for a bit, then we both left the boys on their own to figure out how they wanted this set up. I believe there was a dorm meeting later that afternoon.
This is up to the college…get the info on the schedule from your student. Some colleges basically have a “parents should be gone by this time” and the kids go off with other students for orientation activities. Some colleges have a whole weekend of parent activities.
I always tried to help my child get their stuff unpacked/set up as much as they would let me. After that We would have lunch, pick up last minute items, get their books from the book store and then go.
We are driving down the day before. Next AM, unload and unpack. Kid has stuff starting about 3 and going thru the night. That gives us time to hit the stores for any last minutes things. Meet up the next day sometime between his meetings. Drop the picked up items off. Last meal and then we are tail lights.
Later today we drop him off. Unlike many schools, they combine freshman orientation with move in, so for the next 5 days they’ll have all kinds of activities before classes start. Parent Orientation is tomorrow morning so we’ll have to come back (the campus is about an hour drive from home). My kid has been on campus millions of times over the last 18 years so I don’t think I’ll need to show him around. His dormmate is not local so maybe we can meet up for dinner or the like.
We found that every college is different and every child is different.
@CupCakeMuffins Will you be dropping your child off this year? Did the school give you a move-in day schedule of events?
Our kids were a plane flight away. We arrived a day early, did necessary shopping, moved in on move in day, and then DH and I did a bit of sightseeing in the city for an additional day, stopping by for a meal if desired and to say goodbye, also letting the kid know we were around if a trip to the store or anything was needed, but not demanding anything of the student
Both schools had a lot planned for the students, and one had quite a bit planned for parents as well, which we mostly attended.
D16’s LAC had the most efficient freshman move in ever. Everyone arriving was directed into a line of cars. Pull up to the curb, unload car at curb. Football team players carry belongings to room. Everything was in her third floor room in minutes— before DH could park the car. All we had to do was unpack.
Go into dorm at the appointed time. Make the bed. Unpack, put things up on the walls, assemble anything that requires assembly. Maybe make a run to BBB or Target.
Most important thing is to follow your child’s lead. If he wants you outta there as quickly as possible, make that happen. If he wants you to take him out to dinner one more time, walk around campus with him, or meet everyone on his hall, make that happen. If he doesn’t want you peeking into rooms, chatting with the RA, checking out the laundry room, or grilling his roommate, don’t. Just follow his lead to make him comfortable. This is his space.
Does the college have a parent orientation? Some do, some don’t. But if you have not received notice of any of this by now, then I’d be inclined to think no, there are no parent events. I’ve never heard of this at drop-off, quite frankly, unless the parent orientation is combined with drop-off. Sometimes there’s a convocation that parents can go to, but it’s not a personal meeting. The college considers your child an adult and for the most part tries to discourage over-involvement of parents. They know you’ve done your job already 
Move in day is Friday, Family Orientation activities go through Sunday afternoon!
Our kids’ schools all had a hoard of upperclassmen to come and move up all the belongings so that was awesome. We helped make the beds, hang the wall stuff, unpack clothes, and plug in electronics. With the returning kids, we also lug everything to their rooms. We try hard to keep the stress level down and let the student direct the day. The colleges provided box lunches for everyone and had a couple of parent type meetings, but we were all encouraged to say “goodbye” and be on our way by mid-afternoon.
One nice thing for us this year is that my DD18 is going to the same college that one of my DDs15 goes to. So we’ll be back for a second move-in two days later. We’ll be able to bring anything forgotten or needed on that trip. She will still be busy with orientation so she knows we have no expectations of her spending much time with us.
One piece of advice is to mail a card or small care package a day or two before move-in day. They love to get something in the mail in that first few days.
Every college is different. Be prepared to 1) deal with traffic (cars, people), 2) fight for parking and 3) waiting for elevators. We got our D’s stuff into her dorm room, did a little chit chat with her and other roommates/parents with regard to what might go where (in a forced triple, this was a fairly short convo), admired the views from the room and the lounge across the hall, cried a bit and got the hell out of there (we are about 1 hour away, so didn’t need to stay overnight). We move her into an off-campus apartment this upcoming weekend, so 1) less traffic, 2) parking shouldn’t be a problem, and 3) on the first floor. Always a little said, even when it’s the start of another exciting academic year.
Our S college had everything pretty well orchestrated. Time to unpack at dorm, then there were separate planned activities for the students and parents. At 4PM there was a dorm reception for students and parents. At the end the head of the dorm literally said “now is the time say goodbye. Student only orientation starts in 10 minutes”. Hard stop, but worked well.
Some of these are older threads but the advice and info are really good.
@CupCakeMuffins didn’t your school send you information about what’s happening drop off weekend?
Where my kids attended college, the only parent activities were offered during orientation, when parents were also invited to attend.
Don’t get to worked up about the details. If they don’t want you there, just leave. Also, Mrs NoKill stays home because of the 10+ hour round trip.
1st year - We unloaded car and brought everything to the room. I didn’t even help unpack. I left so the new roommates could hang out and get to know each other. To kill the rest of the day, I visited a famous tourist area for the first time in 25 years. Next day we met for lunch at the dorm (parents were invited for a free lunch) and went to the honors college reception. I gave him a credit card and we bought a few textbooks and some t-shirts for younger brother.
2nd year - We unloaded car and brought everything to the room. Forgot to bring a fan, so we went to the mall. Took all the roommates out for pizza & wings and left. That was a 10+ hour driving day for me.
This year - Leave real early, unload car, go to minor league baseball game. Another 10+ hour car day but at least I can let S drive a few hours and stop for good BBQ on the way home to break up the ride.
I can still remember my Dad and I driving the 13 hours to my college 28 years ago. I somehow conned my way in to get in a day early. I think it was something about trying to test out of a class or two. Dad always liked driving through the night. Can’t remember the exact time we got to campus, but we unloaded. Then Dad wanted to see the golf course. Then we drove into town found a pizza joint and I had a beer with Dad. I think he slept at a hotel and drove back. Dad was in construction so any day off meant a loss in pay.
And like that I was on my own 900 miles from home. I just had to figure things out myself. Mom came in the Spring and got me. I flew home on xmas break. After that I had a car and drove myself to and from college. Needless to say I am great with maps and directions. As you can imagine I am the parent that thinks kids should be independent.