<p>wjb, unfortunately not always. My son's high school is very very competitive. Recently there was a local high school in my son's school district where several students broke into the school to change grades/AP scores etc. Huge media coverage about AP scores now being disqualified. Again, I'm happy that you and your son didn't experience any of that craziness. </p>
<p>I can assure you that we (my son or I) have NEVER bragged or carried his achievements in any way but in a humble and dignified manner. </p>
<p>I am not saying that everyone has been jealous, only a few. The same who said things to the students at my son's school who were accepted early to Stanford and Yale. I still believe that it's fueled by the parents. Behavior breeds behavior!</p>
<p>Please don't assume that just because you didn't experience this that it's in some way our fault for those who have.</p>
<p>I didn’t intend to point a finger at you, guitars. Your posts certainly don’t smack of hubris. I do know that in our community, there is genuine happiness and respect for the accomplishments of the high-achieving students who are humble and helpful -- the “nice” kids -- and plenty of resentment for kids who are perceived as arrogant and bragging. And I agree with you that the parents are often worse offenders than the students.</p>
<p>wjb, As your son chose Yale over Harvard, your experience with reactions to the "H-bomb" is likely more limited than the rest of us on this board. Some of the oddest reactions I received were from people who had never met my D, so the cause could not have been because she wore her "mantle of achievement" wrong!</p>
<p>Of course I'm not in your shoes, but I don't think there's much difference between the "H bomb" and the "Y bomb." There isn't in my neck of the woods.</p>
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Normally the H-bomb is the nuke of college name dropping, but I did witness a group that turned its attention away from a Harvard student-to-be when another kid announced that he was going to Oxford
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<p>I've certainly seen that happen too. In such social situations, the Oxbridge-bomb is the H-bomb's kryptonite.</p>
<p>The irony is that my D roused some resentment because of her low-key modest demeanor. As her GC put it - "She skated under the radar." The hs is very competitive, very wealthy, a private school that D attended on scholarship. She was placed in the lower track when she came in - behind the top students in math and science. She quietly worked very hard, accelerated and managed to finish 11th grade with the only unweighted 4.0 and 9 APs (all five's). She won the Harvard Book Prize and was selected for a prestigious free summer seminar. She had not been seen as one of the stars of the class - the quizz bowl members, math team, science olympiad. When she won the Harvard Book Award, one of her teachers came up to me and said how glad he was to see such a quiet unassuming but great student win it.</p>
<p>Anyway, this college admissions season was very traumatic for the school. Kids did get accepted at top schools but they were mostly the scholarship kids like my D and interestingly mostly Asian (my D is not). The "lifer" kids who had performed well and expected to get into Ivys mostly ended up at matches and safeties.</p>
<p>I think there is a shift in college admissions where merit really is trumping privilege. This is painful for many.</p>
<p>My D has friends! Her boyfriend (going to Dartmouth) is hugely supportive of her. Their friends are all happy and optimistic about their futures - and glad to be out of the hs which was not pleasant this past spring. There was a sense that scholarship students should not have been taking up the Ivy slots from the kids whose families had contributed to the endowment that provided the scholarships. Maybe they had a point . . .</p>
<p>Yeah, dropping the H-bomb definitely gets people's attention and is often certainly a conversation starter.</p>
<p>But to say, basically, that no one outside your nuclear family is happy that your kid was accepted at and is attending Harvard? I don't think that is anywhere close to the norm for Harvard students/families. That's a sign you need to make different "friends" and/or move to a different community.</p>
<p>Well, think what you want. D is not friendless. She attended two proms this past spring, shared an open house with two friends that had what felt like hundreds attend. Is currenly at a friend's beach house with several other friends (and some parents, I hope). I exagerrated a bit in my first post. There is an aunt across the country who sent her a ridiculously big check and is thrilled for her. Her BF and several friends made a website about her when she won the Presidential Scholar award. We don't see as much of her this summer as I'd like - she's with friends.</p>
<p>But she does not talk about H. And neither do I. People will be nice about it but it just doesn't feel like something they want to dwell on. There's just something about Harvard that people react to.</p>
<p>Mammal, I think that's ridiculous. If people can't deal with it, that's THEIR problem, not yours or your D's. Now, obviously you don't have to be conceited about it and BRAG about her acceptance, but I think if they ask, and you say "Harvard. She's thrilled," and people take offense to that, who cares? Let them steam with envy. It shouldn't bother you.</p>
<p>People seem to equate going to Harvard with winning the lottery, as in, you shouldn't really mention it at dinner parties because someone might get jealous and hate your guts. There's a difference, though. Harvard is based on merit (well....usually) and the lottery is based on luck. People are foolish to resent someone for achieving something great with their own academic drive.</p>
<p>They may be foolish, but it makes life easier if you try to get along with people, even when they are being silly. I don't want awkwardness with my co-workers, neighbors, etc. It's a pain.</p>
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They may be foolish, but it makes life easier if you try to get along with people, even when they are being silly. I don't want awkwardness with my co-workers, neighbors, etc. It's a pain.
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<p>Dude that's what everyone does but doesnt want to talk about.</p>
<p>What a superficial and ridiculous thread. Would you people please get over yourself. This was probably the primary reason I turned down Harvard, because of the stigma (which is true I guess) that goes along with it.</p>
<p>I'm an Engineer....and I don't like elitism, and yea, I love Cornell. Harvard was honestly on the bottom of my list which included the likes of MIT, Penn, Columbia etc....</p>