<p>My son applied to UCSB, was granted admission, and even though he is a very strong student and I have next to nothing in the way of monetary assistance I can offer him, received little in the way of financial aid/assistance. He has always dreamed of attending college and reveling in the whole university experience, and he is watching the dream fade fast. I am feeling guilty and sad that I am not in the position to help him after he worked so hard in high school, worse that I waited until one month before school is due to start to have a conversation with him about debt. I mistakenly thought that he could secure loans on his own (my credit is terrible after almost two years of erratic employment for my husband) and that that would be okay; but the more I think about it, the more terrified I am of him going into debt he may never get out of. It may be a mute point because he will need someone to cosign and I just can't...he is begging for my help and I feel terrible. I need some support; my husband cannot provide that right now. I do not know why I am allowing this situation to make me feel worthless, but I am</p>
<p>Your(and your husband’s) greatest mistake was not being honest with your son. Your unwillingness to tell him sooner is causing him to scramble at this late date. Can you afford for him to go to school next semester or next fall? Or not at all?
He has every right to be hurt and angry, you lead him on to believe he was starting at SB in a month. Think of every lie you and your husband told him.
Can he go to the local cc? Or does he need to work because you cannot afford cc?
He deserves to be told the truth no matter how painful and embarrassing to the family.</p>
<p>How much financial aid grant does he get and how much does he need to borrow?</p>
<p>You shouldn’t have strung your son along for so long, but you know that. The issue (after you give him a heartfelt apology) is to figure out what to do now. School starts Sept. 19. He needs $27,500 for this year. Next year, and every year after that, costs will almost certainly go up.</p>
<p>Even if your son could borrow that amount, would you want him to graduate over $100,000 in debt?</p>
<p>I can’t imagine what money fairy is going to come along in the next month to shower your son with tens of thousands of dollars. Therefore, you and he need to face up to the fact that he won’t be at UCSB this fall. After he gets over his sorrow and fury (both of which are perfectly justified) he and you can talk over what he will be doing. Here are three suggestions:</p>
<p>*He could take a gap year and apply this fall to colleges that would give him substantial merit and/or need aid.</p>
<p>*He could go to community college this fall (better hurry, many colleges have started already), planning to do his first two years at community college and then transfer to UCSB or another school. He’d still have to come up with two years’ worth of costs at a university, but he’d have the next two years to line up aid and loans, and it would only be half as much as a four year school. </p>
<p>*He could take a gap year this year and go next year to a California state school. They are much less expensive.</p>
<p>If by a remote chance you live in Santa Barbara he could live at home and commute to UCSB and the cost wouldn’t be terribly high and if he could secure an on-campus or off-campus part time job and then full time summer jobs he could pay for quite a bit of it with money he earns and the loans would be minimal. </p>
<p>However, you’re probably not in SB which would mean he’d need to live there in the dorms or off campus and that adds tremendously to the cost and potential burden.</p>
<p>Did he get accepted to any UCs or possibly CSUs that are within a commuting distance from your home? If so he could contact them, explain his economic issues, and see if they’ll allow him to attend. This is a bit of a long shot but worth a try.</p>
<p>It’s nice to be able to live on-campus and all that but really it’s a luxury and not absolutely necessary so the commuting can work well for him if he can find a solution to this and the overall cost of the college would be substantially less. </p>
<p>If his only option is to end up somehow with $100K or more in loans that he’d have to repay, I wouldn’t recommend he do that. A $100K loan means, for example, 10 years of over $1100/month in payments and that’s enough to seriously saddle anyone trying to start their career/life. He’d be better off finding a less expensive solution. Money does matter.</p>
<p>If the above options don’t work then it’s probably a good idea for him to go to a local CC for a couple of years and then transfer to a UC/CSU.</p>
<p>The gap year idea recommended above is an option as well.</p>
<p>If your financial status is one of recent change, let the school know. There may be some additional FA available. If not for this year, you will reapply for FA next year using current data.</p>
<p>Are there any relatives who might be generous enough to co-sign this year’s loans?</p>
<p>Mominva, do you think it would make sense for melin’s son to be graduating with $100,000 debt, presuming he could get a cosigner? </p>
<p>I don’t envy melin’s son, making the pitch to Uncle Moneybags: “My dad has known since May that I was planning to go to UCSB. He just told me he can’t pay my tuition. Could you cosign a $25K loan this year, next year, the year after and the year after that?” Uncle Moneybags would have to be exceptionally generous to agree to be responsible to pay back melin’s son’s loans.</p>
<p>It is definitely possible to live off campus at UCSB cheaper than in the dorm. Lots of students in off campus apartments next to campus in Isla Vista.</p>
<p>^^ True but it’d still be expensive compared to living at home and commuting.</p>
<p>^^ True but not that much cheaper. Tuition plus campus housing and food is $27.5K. Living off campus, the student probably wouldn’t save more than $3-5K, if that. Not that three thousand dollars is chicken feed, but the OP makes it sound like the student/family has almost no money to spend. If I understand correctly, they’re not even close to the required sum.</p>
<p>I’m not one of the resident touchy feely posters, but this new poster has asked for support. I’ve worked with many families over the years who have found themselves in this situation. First generation families especially often don’t realize the debt the student is taking on until late in the game. The UCs are pretty bad with giving much to the low and middle income on top of that.</p>
<p>Melin, it must be tough to be in your shoes right now. I can only imagine how down your son is. While it’s not ideal, the good news is he can do what many in CA do, have his last 2 years at a UC.</p>
<p>You are right about being concerned about him taking on all of this debt. Nothing including bankrupts discharges student debt, and it would probably negatively effect his future for many years. No matter how badly he wants UCSB now, even if you could find a way, it would not be worth it.</p>
<p>The timing is unfortunate, but it is what it is. Try to help your son see that it’s not the end of the world. Godspeed to you and your son in getting past this.</p>
<p>Cardinal Fang,
I was working under the assumption that the loan would be for this year only; if the financial circumstances are so dire, next year’s FA could be quite generous.
Keep the dream alive in the short term and if FA remains poor, the S will have time to digest the reality.</p>
<p>mominva, unlikely that a UC would get generous next year. Your state school is exceptional in meeting need.</p>
<p>The financial situation of the UCs is definitely not going to get better next year. I would expect costs to go up and FA to go down.</p>
<p>Oops, my bad.
It didn’t register in my aging brain that the OP was referring to a UC.</p>
<p>at this point, anything is worth a try. Suggest calling the financial aid office and see if there is any appeal possible. Is there a work study program he can do? If he can’t go this year, see if they will defer his admission to next year (so you and he can possibly sort this out)</p>
<p>If this really is his dream then he will have to hunker down and figure out how this can work without all the debt</p>
<p>With the UCs, you and he will have to be persistent and creative.</p>
<p>Is the cost difference really only $2-3,000 between day and boarding students? Here is the breakdown for SUNY Albany (our closest state U). The room and board is significantly more than tuition and fees. I thought that was typical of state universities. No?</p>
<p>Undergraduate Tuition and Fees</p>
<p>NY State Resident
Annual Cost</p>
<p>Total Tuition and Fees
$6,748.00 </p>
<p>Total Room and Board
$10,238.00 </p>
<p>Total Tuition, Fees, Room and Board
$16,986.00</p>
<p>Melin, </p>
<p>Sometimes life takes us places we never imagined we would be. Thirty years ago (even twenty!) if anyone had asked me whether I would end up in the financial position we have I would have said it was impossible…we planned, saved, and thought we did a good job of it. </p>
<p>Life happens. Don’t waste time feeling guilty for your situation. Get creative and check out any higher education opportunities nearby. Talk with admissions at UCSB and be honest about your misjudgment in not telling your son the true situation. If that is a dead end, scramble about for other possibilities; CC, online, etc. You will find a way to help him. Don’t give up. Nobody’s perfect, even if it often seems so when reading threads on CC!</p>
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<p>The OP’s son can’t be a commuter, as his parents don’t live nearby. So either he could live on campus and pay campus room and board, or he could live off-campus, pay for rent and buy/prepare his own food. I was guessing that living off campus, he’d save $2-3000. Obviously, he’s not going to save the entire campus room & board cost-- apartments and groceries are not free.</p>
<p>If you apply for a PLUS loan and are turned down he can get additional Stafford funding. Can he find off-campus housing and attend SBCC for one or two years? Can you help with his housing enough that he can fund most of the costs of SBCC? I’m guessing he would need a total of around $10,000 for tuition, shared apartment, books, food, stuff which would almost be covered by the Stafford and then the additional Stafford if you are turned down for PLUS. You can check out the SBCC website for better more reliable cost info. They used to have a guanteed transfer next door to UCSB and he would be living side by side with UCSB and I believe can take a class or two there during the time he is at SBCC. The tuition and fees are quite reasonable. The campus is quite gorgeous and unlike any CC I’ve ever seen and the kids are quite engaged. We looked at this as a possible option for our out of state son several years ago as a couple kids in our town did this to “get to California.” SBCC has dorms in Isla Vista, but I’m guessing they might be full by now, but SBCC has a quite active and good housing department with apartment listings, kids looking for roommates, etc. All in all I was quite impressed by SBCC. I’m sure he would be challenged, nutured and all that good stuff. I would also definitely get in contact with UCSB’s finaid office immediately and explore the PLUS options pronto at the very least.</p>
<p>
No, the cost difference is much greater - more similar to the figures you quoted but higher tuition. The difference in the cost would generally be >$10K depending on details (transportation costs if any, true food costs if significant, etc.). I think the 2K-3K diff was comparing on-campus to off-campus but not living with parents - i.e. they’d have to pay rent. It sounds like a reasonable figure to me.</p>
<p>
Actually I don’t think the OP stated where they lived and in fact hasn’t responded again since the initial post. It’s doubtful the OP lives near SB only because most students there are from elsewhere but it’s very likely the OP is fairly close to a CSU and possibly a UC although maybe not one where the S applied or was accepted.</p>