End-of-college crisis - please help

Parents Forum
1

<p>I am a 3rd-year student at an enormous (but high-ranked) state school, and I recently realized that the number of hours I have left in my major - poli sci - is now in the single digits, so I really have no reason to hang around here after next semester. Problem is, I have NO idea what I want to do after graduation. </p>

<p>I guess the main problem is that I don't have much faith in my ability to do much of anything, which is making me feel like there's no place for me in the world outside of college. As I stated, my major is political science and I find it interesting, but I'm really more interested in and passionate about Russian language and culture. I have studied abroad in Russia twice - the second time on a pretty competitive government-affiliated language scholarship. But what does it mean to "be interested in Russian language and culture"? I don't want to be an academic or researcher because of the years and years of education required and because of the risk of developing ivory tower syndrome. Also, I'm unapproachable, a born follower, and a horrible communicator - I have enough trouble with participating in one-on-one conversations, let alone lecturing to big groups of people.</p>

<p>I also thought about the possibility of going to Russia or another ex-Soviet state to teach English, at least for a while after graduation, but again, I would make a terrible educator. It's very hard for me to connect with people, and I feel like this deficiency will chase me my entire life. I actually fear other people, and collaboration is torture for me. I want so badly to help people, but with my people skills that's just not going to happen. I'm not made of the stuff it takes to make a difference in the lives of other people. But I would be so unhappy if I spent my professional life sitting at a bureau in D.C. shuffling papers and redirecting phone calls. </p>

<p>It's so hard for me to make connections with other people, which makes the prospect of applying for grad school or for programs such as the Fulbright even scarier - I've gone through college without a single meaningful relationship with a professor. Who would I get letters of recommendation from? And anyway, do I have the work ethic for grad school? Besides, if I'm going to grad school next year, the time for me to start looking into programs and studying for the GRE has long passed. </p>

<p>I feel like I have no goals. I admire people like my friend who's currently interning for the UN in Moscow and hopes to join the Peace Corps to do AIDS prevention work in Ukraine, and the girl who I heard gushing on the phone this morning about how she'd gotten a job interview with Goldman Sachs, and even the people who are diligently preparing for the GRE and plowing their way through grad school apps. I, however, just don't feel like there's anything out there for me. I know lots of people my age that don't quite "have it figured out," but I think lots of people in this economy would be okay doing just about anything so long as it paid the bills. But I want to do something out of college that actually fulfills me, and something that actually gives me insight into my career path. To be honest, I'm just very sad right now and I wish I didn't have to make this decision by myself.</p>

2

<p>This is tough… I have a kid sort of like you who also is not a strong communicator. Fortunately she has talent in several academic areas, so has decided to pursue a science career. She does like it, but also because she is realistic about not having the people skills to succeed in a field like political science (her outgoing sister has a degree in poli sci and is gainfully employed). One more comment is that I was quite a bit like you in college as well – not good with people, period. And didn’t really like 'em much. I was a business major, which is also a major that requires a lot of people contact. Not such a good fit…</p>

<p>A few thoughts I have:

  • Have you taken statistics? I think there are some statistics/poli sci jobs that might be a fit for someone who could handle numbers, but does not have good people skills. You might follow up on that in your remaining coursework (add a couple of stats class, if there is a poli sci/computer course of some kind take that as well).
  • Another option is to add some business classes, and try to get a job with a multinational company that needs people who speak Russian.
  • If you don’t want to go to grad school, then you might take ANY job that gets you to Russia and immersed in the culture and language there. You never know what may happen and what opportunities may present themselves once you get there. Stick with whatever you start with for a year or so, but be flexible to change if something else comes up.
  • I have a friend who was a Japanese major in college who used to do translations for a company… but with the internet, I suspect that is probably not a great possibility any more. They can probably do it mostly with automated translaters, and for pennies as needed beyond that…
  • No one really sits in a bureau and “shuffles papers and redirects phone calls”. My D actually had an internship at the State Department where some of the foreign desks (not sure what they call 'em) are located, and it sound very exciting. Of course, she was there during Arab Spring… :slight_smile: But still. Have you tried an internship in DC? If not, you really should. It helps your resume, and gives you a better idea of the possibilities. Start looking right now for one next summer.</p>

<p>I will say that you should work on building your “people skills”. Like I said above, I was awful at them in college, and really had to learn the hard way in my first several years in the work force. Gradually I got it figured out… a lot of trial and error, and some pretty awkward/dumb moments along the way. But I think my brain grew (literally) in that area in my 20s, and I also kept working at it. I remember at one point becoming really focused on what I said to make sure I was not offending anyone… I almost put a filter on pretty much everything that came out of my mouth to figure out how it would be perceived by others. That eventually became easier to do, but I actually think that was what made a difference in being able to get along better with other people. And once they liked me better, I began to like them better, too. Now I actually do like people (most of 'em). A huge change from when I was 20.</p>

<p>Here is the thing about this… no one else is going to decide for you. But there are resources to help you. Go see a couple of professors and discuss this with them (maybe a poli sci and a Russian professor). Spend time in the career counseling office and talk with them about options for your major and interest. Do some Google searches. Start watching for jobs on Monster just to see what is out there. If you don’t have a LinkedIn account, create one and start linking to anyone you meet in your areas of interest (Russian, poli sci, professors, older students in your major, etc.). Good luck… and don’t despair. Even if you just make a small plan (try to do one thing a day that helps you clarify options and figure out future choices), that will help you move forward.</p>

3

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<p>You don’t have to. Make an appointment with your school’s career center. They can help point you in directions that make sense for you.</p>

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<p>Doing something fulfilling in your first job (or even your first few jobs) may be too much to hope for. In most cases, you have to be in a career for a while to get to the fulfilling part. The second part of what you’re hoping for is more realistic. Getting a job that is in some way linked to your interests will help you find out what’s out there. You will learn a great deal once you start working – often about things that you couldn’t have anticipated.</p>

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<p>Must you graduate this year? Do the university’s rules say that you must? Or is your family’s financial situation such that it would be highly desirable for you to graduate early?</p>

<p>If the answer to these questions is no, you might consider sticking around and spending the extra year taking courses that will help you to become better qualified for whatever career path you choose, after meeting with a career counselor. In some instances, students who complete their bachelor’s degree requirements in three years can even spend the fourth year getting a master’s degree that will make them more employable. Talk to your parents about your financial situation and then talk to the career center and the academic advising office about your options if graduating this year is not a necessity.</p>

4

<p>There are lots of people that work in DC for the federal government and study Russia. And they don’t “shuffle papers and direct phone calls”… they are the experts on Russia for the U.S. government.</p>

5

<p>First, college seems to create ideas in students’ head that they will do something amazing or, as you put it, “fulfilling,” right after graduation, and that is often not the case. A lot of times, too, you have to start at the bottom, do boring tasks, and work your way up. And wander in a zig zag pattern: kids are given the impression that life is a nice straight line.</p>

<p>Is there any way you could go back to study in Russia, perhaps in a 4th year of college? Or with some service organization? Or study more Russian language and culture over there? Talk to counselors at your school. I don’t know if money is an issue. But you have an actual “passion”: many don’t. It makes sense to pursue it in whatever way you can.</p>

<p>There are also reputable online or low residency grad programs in which you could earn credit for travel and work, in a self-designed program. Goddard, Union Institute and Lesley come to mind.</p>

<p>You also seem to have a desire to be useful, which is wonderful. Eventually, you may be able to combine your interest in Russia with being useful. It may take time and patience. Give yourself the time to find yourself and your path. Any wandering that you do in the meantime is valuable.</p>

6

<p>- Have you taken statistics? I think there are some statistics/poli sci jobs that might be a fit for someone who could handle numbers, but does not have good people skills. You might follow up on that in your remaining coursework (add a couple of stats class, if there is a poli sci/computer course of some kind take that as well).</p>

<p>As a quantitative social scientist who works as a statistical consultant, I’m wary of this advice, even as I knew someone would give it. A lot of people think that statisticians and analysts don’t need to have good people skills, but those analysts are the worst. Statisticians and analysts spend a lot of solitary time in front of computers doing analysis - that’s true. But they are also usually collaborating with other people on research studies and projects. In-house statisticians are usually taking data that Person/Group B collected, based on an idea that was thought of and developed by Person/Group A. They have to work with both A and B to make sure that they’re analyzing the data correctly and reporting back the results in a way that it useful to A and B. A LOT of their time is also spent communicating their research findings, in various formats, to others in a variety of ways - written and oral. Not only that, but you have to be able to communicate that information to people who usually know very little about statistics - or at least less than you. Most of the time they’ve taken the basic stats class their degree required and not much else. It’s actually more of a people job than most people think.</p>

<p>Perhaps you don’t want to do this, but with an interest in Russian language and experience in the field you’d be very useful to the international security community and perhaps even the military. You could work as a cryptographer or an information warfare officer.</p>

7

<p>You could do what my son is doing - add a second minor (or change your major) which will require some additional courses and will extend your graduation date.</p>

8

<p>First you need to work on improving your self-esteem. You have expressed what you believe to be your weaknesses, but how about your strengths? We ALL have both.</p>

<p>You say you go to a “highly-ranked” state school, so that tells me that you are reasonably intelligent. You have studied abroad in Russia twice, so I would say you are adventurous, and flexible enough to adapt to a very different culture. You must also have some degree of self-sufficiency to survive abroad at your age, and you have identified a passion in Russian culture and language. You also mention a “friend” who is interning for the UN, so you have, in fact, connected to someone. These are all good things which you should not overlook while you work on some of your weaknesses.</p>

<p>In my opinion, the weaknesses you identify are things that can be addressed and improved upon with some practice. Further, you possess a self-awareness that is unusual for your age. So this is a wonderful opportunity to overcome some obstacles early on, before they become permanent personality traits. You might even think about talking to a professional about some of your difficulties with your peers. Someone “looking in from the outside” can often shed a bright light on inter-personal issues. Maybe your college has such a person at the health center?</p>

<p>I think that once you are feeling better about yourself, you will also feel better about your prospects after college. I also like the idea of adding a minor or spending another year in college to focus on the things that you are passionate about.</p>

9

<p>You have so much going for you. You actually do have a direction and an interest-- in Russian studies. You have skills. You are graduating from a highly regarded university and you qualified for a competitive scholarship for your study in Russia. And you have a good heart: you say you badly want to help people. Trust me, the people skills will come if you want them to. These are not abilities that emerge full blown in those of us who aren’t natural extroverts. The teaching, lecturing, even one-on-one conversations will come in time with help and coaching. Believe in yourself and push yourself to take that next step beyond your comfort zone.</p>

<p>As a practical matter, is there a career counseling office available to you? I urge you to make an appointment and talk over your interests. Explore any possibility for returning to Russia, including teaching English. You may surprise yourself at your ability to handle teaching. It may be a lot less intimidating than you imagine. Definitely look into government and nonprofit options. There are many opportunities available to people who speak Russian in social service agencies wherever there are pockets of emigres from the FSU. I know it all sounds daunting but you can do more than you think. You have a fairly unique skill that can be used to help people in need.</p>

<p>As others have already said, don’t expect too much too soon. Give yourself time and give your career time to develop.</p>