End of first year and no friends (anymore)...please help, I'm totally hopeless!

Student Lounge College Life
1

I’m an International Student and just finished my first year of studying on Vancouver Island. I always wanted to study abroad, then return home and have memories of my time in Canada forever. However, I have no friends. Actually, I did make friends last semester but they left back to Europe right before Christmas because they were only exchange students. I’m starting to feel hopeless and I can’t take one more lonely semester, I need friends so badly.

I still like studying abroad, but being lonely doesn’t make it easier. I must admit however, that most of it was and is my fault. I’m shy and introverted and very insecure around new people. The funny thing is, I know that and I know it’s not right, but I just can’t change. As soon as I know them better, it gets better but the getting to know part is soo hard for me because I’m too shy. I NEVER approach people. When I’m lucky, they approach me in some way, but I never do it myself. Now you can tell me to do it. I won’t. I tried it so often and I can’t, that’s just the way I am. But I still want to make friends.

I’m flying back home to Europe next week and I can’t wait to see my family, old friends and my hometown again!! I’m really really happy to go back home but I also want to come back to Canada next year because I’m already done with my first year of studying and my grades are great, so why give that up. I also still kind of like my adventure abroad, I travel around a lot and I love it. But I can’t take one more lonely semester. It’s also a waste of my precious time here abroad. I hope someone can tell me what to do when you have no friends, like how to make friends despite being shy and unable to really get myself out there to people who are strangers. My hope is the common room of my floor next year…but I’m always to shy at the beginning and that is the crucial time to get to know people on my floor of the student residence.

Also how can I go from an acquaintance-level to a friend-level so I can actually do things with them? I want just one or two good friends, please tell me what to do?

2

You must have some interests.Join a few clubs that appeal to you. I believe there are personality types so don’t expect to become life of the party. My suggestion is that if you join a few clubs you will find someone else there who may be shy as well or just very accepting of shy people and you will hit it off. If those clubs don’t work try a few more. All you need are a few close friends if that is your comfort level. Don’t put too many expectations on yourself and let it happen naturally. There are students out there at your college you could connect with- you just need to find them. How to make friends? Like dating, show interest in them and what they care about and ask them about themselves, not in an intrusive way, in a friendly caring way. You will get there- have faith my friend!