Er... Accidentally offended professor...? What should I do next?

Parents Forum
1

<p>Hi everyone, </p>

<p>So, this is kind of embarrassing for me to talk about, but I'm pretty sure I offended one of my professors the other day. They're a professor that I'm rather close to and that I didn't mean to offend, so it really bothers me. </p>

<p>I have them once a week for a language class, and my class (which is small) is rather lazy, to be honest. My professor has to go through things many times for them to understand because they don't read and prepare outside of class.</p>

<p>Last class, my professor ran out of time before they could cover the next grammar concept because my classmates were tired and my professor knew they wouldn't learn it very well. My professor decided to just drop it from our upcoming test and final and to just teach it to us later. My classmates rejoiced, but I was surprised and disappointed, and then eventually angry (more so at my classmates). I had prepared for the new concept, and I was doing my job by paying attention and following along; for as long as my professor spent making lesson plans to make our 3 hour class more interesting, I studied so that I'd be familiar with the content and make their job easier and more beneficial. </p>

<p>I didn't say anything when they told us what they were doing, but my professor knew something was wrong and approached me after class. Unwillingly, I told them how I felt shorted since I was ready to learn like i always am and how it's not my or their fault that my classmates weren't ready to learn. I also mentioned how I worry about my skills because I'm going onto the next level whereas they're not. This may seem bold to say to a professor, but we have a very good relationship, and i phrased it in the "i feel" sort of way with no accusatory tones (so i thought). </p>

<p>However, I think they took it as a "you (the prof) are failing me!" type thing whereas it was more of a "i feel betrayed by my unmotivated classmates" deal. At first they thought I was criticizing their teaching, but when I clarified that I wasn't, they assured me that I was fine and that they'd never send me to the next level without properly preparing me. We parted with smiles and an "it's all good" exchange. Also, they told me to keep coming to their office like I do so that they can help me with my language skills so i don't feel shorted. </p>

<p>Still, I felt that they were offended, and i feel really bad because I really respect them. They've done a lot for me, and i wouldn't have even mentioned my frustrations if they hadn't have basically cornered me after class. Even though they smoothed it over, I wonder if they still privately felt struck by the knowledge that I felt deprived in their class. </p>

<p>What should I do? Should I just get over it, go to their office as usual, and pretend like it never happened? Should I apologize again and say "i hope you understand that my frustrations are aimed towards my classmates and not you because you've done nothing but go above and beyond for me"? </p>

<p>I know there's a saying about not rubbing salt in old wounds or something, but this is a relatively fresh mark with a young professor that I definitely don't wish to burn bridges with. Also, they're a human being that I genuinely like and who I feel that I've wronged. </p>

<p>Thanks for taking the time to read and to help me.</p>

2

<p>i don’t feel your actions were offensive at all. your professors are lucky to have you in their class. if i were them, i’d take comfort in knowing someone is paying attention and enjoying their class.</p>

3

<p>My suggestion (as a prof):
Leave it be. Profs are busy people and are unlikely to still be thinking about this or want to spend more time talking about it. If you want, send them an email after the course is over (and grades have been given) and thank them, tell them you appreciated the course, etc.</p>

4

<p>I don’t think you did anything wrong either - your prof asked you what was wrong and you were open and honest without being accusatory. The prof may have taken it that way, however. You can’t really control someone’s perception. If that’s the case, and it may not be - it may just be YOUR perception - you can apologize and say you didn’t mean to sound unappreciative and state your meaning again.</p>

5

<p>You didn’t say anything wrong – don’t worry about it. I’m also a professor, like another poster here, and I don’t think any faculty member I know would be offended by your words.</p>

6

<p>I agree with the others, above. Also, as a language teacher, I can tell you that no studying of any concept in language (or, really, in anything at all) is ever a waste of time. You will use this concept, whatever it is, in the future, and you will be ahead of the others in the class because you will have already learned it. You’re not in school just to learn info for tests. I think you’re fine.</p>

7

<p>Another prof chiming in to say leave it alone. Every now and again, a prof gets a class of unmotivated students and having one or two who really care makes all the difference.</p>

8

<p>" Should I apologize again and say “i hope you understand that my frustrations are aimed towards my classmates and not you because you’ve done nothing but go above and beyond for me”? </p>

<p>Apologies work both ways and since you are still feeling remorseful( more so than needed, but is your feeling, not mine) I would casually mention exactly what you state above during office hours, and then let it be. Hopefully, this will allow you to move past it and enjoy the rest of the semester. You are a wonderful student who is earnest and sincere. You must be the bright light among your classmates. Things between you and your prof will be just fine.</p>

9

As a graduate student, I’d say leave it alone. There is nothing wrong with what you said. Besides that isn’t even offensive.

Examples of offensive classroom conduct… that I’ve done in full view of my professor: getting drunk in class (drinking cranberry juice and vodka), coming to class after smoking a blunt and making the whole room smell of marijuana. Saying that one of the loopholes in a professor’s example allows people to be a serial killer or eat babies and still be morally correct. Drinking 4 monster energy drinks back to back and becoming restless and then following that with taking several pills of melatonin. Cursing your professor out during office hours because he tries to make you work with people in group who try to use your work and claim it as their own.

Yeah, don’t worry about it. Professors are human too and I would imagine that they felt similarly in classes that they attended back when they were students.

10

As the event happened 8 years ago, I suspect OP has already decided how to handle it.

And OP hasn’t been on CC in over 6 years, so probably won’t see your advice anyway.