Essay-Grading Requested

<p>I finally wrote an essay not too long ago to see if I couldn't reassure myself a bit (as well as to get a better feel for the time limit). Grading would be much appreciated.</p>

<p>The prompt is as follows:</p>

<p>In his poem, "To a Mouse," the Scottish poet Robert Burns (1759-1796) wrote these immortal lines: "The best laid schemes o' mice an' men / Gang aft a-gley." To paraphrase Burns's archaic dialect in modern English: No matter how carefully we plan our projects, something can still go wrong with them.</p>

<p>Assignment: Are even our best plans always at the mercy of unexpected, chance events? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this idea. Support your position with reasoning and examples from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>And the essay:</p>

<pre><code>Chance events ultimately decide our lives. Whatever preconceptions we may hold in the present, the future is forever an unknown contingency, capable of destroying weeks of preparation with something as simple as an unexpected rainstorm. But naturally, chance is not limited to the weather. Chance events have ruined the plans of numerous novel characters, such as the renowned Gatsby of The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald, as well as that of myriad historical figures, such as MicKinley and his League of Nations and Al Capone’s bootlegging scheme of the 1920s.

In The Great Gatsby, Gatsby has spent his entire life building up a false persona of wealth and refinement all of the sake of impressing the love of his youth, Daisy Buchanen. When he is finally reunited with her, all seems well at first––she prefers him over her husband Tom, is amazed by the man he has become, and easily rekindles her love for him. However, just weeks later, the whole plan of Gatsby’s to cause her to divorce Tom comes crashing down when Tom reveals Gatsby’s shady business and the confused and torn Daisy comes to realise that she cannot––indeed, does not wish to––leave her husband. The fantastic scene results at last in Gatsby’s death due to a series of grave misunderstandings, which is far from his ideal of a life with Daisy, In this way, years of planning can easily be ruined by the unpredictable actions of a single man.

Such events extend to history as well; take, for example, McKinley and his plan to bring about the League of Nations. It all began fairly well as he integrated his ideas into the treaty formed after WWI, but upon returning to the US to have the League approved by Congress, he was met with a vast opposition which altogether halted his carefully thought-out ideas. Coupled with McKinley’s own refusal to compromise and finally with his falling ill from exhaustion, the entire deal was out of the window. The unexpected opposition from Congress, much stronger than McKinley could have imagined, along with his own shortcomings, the effect of which he was unable to adequately judge, in the end ruined his plan. Unforeseen events like these can easily prevent entire countries from realising their leader’s ideals.

Individuals as well have been afflicted by such chance events; Al Capone easily becomes an example of this. He is, of course, famous for his bootlegging ring in the time of Prohibition. However his whole scheme collapsed when he was finally arrested––not for the alcohol, but for tax fraud. Yes, his whole “organisation” fell because of a crime which he had probably never foreseen being caught for. And individual’s plans can easily be destroyed by the chance consequences of contingencies they did not account for.

Seemingly insignificant chance events can easily demolish our carefully built-up plans, as evidenced both in literary works such as The Great Gatsby, and in historical events such as the founding of the League of Nations and Al Capone’s bootlegging ring. Through it is impossible for humans to foresee the future, we must be sure to always try to the best of our ability to account for whatever chance forces may lie in wait––lest our most painstakingly devised plots be ruined in the blink of an eye.
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<p>Thank you in advance!</p>

<p>Are you sure that 2 pages are enough for this essay? And are you sure you can write this in 25 minutes? I think it is “overwritten”. If your answer for both of my questions is “yes” then I would give you 12/12.</p>

<p>a. I timed myself when writing this essay and took 25 minutes to do it.
b. I write pretty small.</p>

<p>So, yes and yes.</p>

<p>Thanks for grading it~</p>

<p>good essay but your whole thing with the League of Nations is completely wrong. The President at the time was Wilson not McKinley</p>

<p>Hah, I always mix that up. I’d been wondering if I’d gotten the name right or not, cause it seemed wrong-ish…</p>

<p>All I ever remember is all the little details of the long article we had to read for it, and none of the names involved. Presidents’ names seem to be a lost cause for me much of the time, unless they’ve been sufficiently reinforced…</p>

<p>Ah well, now I know, huh? .-.
Thanks for reading. xD;</p>

<p>could you grade my essay now? I would really appreciate it ( i take my SAT saturday)</p>