Grade this sexy essay! ;)

<p>Hey, can you guys grade it. It's my first so don't be harsh. :)</p>

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<p>Directions: Consider carefully the following statement and the assignment below it. Then plan and write an essay that explains your ideas as persuasively as possible. Keep in mind that the support you provide—both reasons and examples—will help make your view convincing to the reader.</p>

<p>In his poem, “To a Mouse,” the Scottish poet Robert Burns (1759-1796) wrote these immortal lines: “The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men / Gang aft a-gley.” To paraphrase Burns’s archaic dialect in modern English: No matter how carefully we plan our projects, something can still go wrong with them.</p>

<h2>Assignment: What is your view of the idea that even our best plans are always at the mercy of unexpected, chance events? In an essay, support your position by discussing an example (or examples) from history, literature, the arts, science and technology, current events, or your own experience or observation.</h2>

<p>Essay</p>

<p>Plans are objectives in life. Whether it be to catch a movie with some friends in the afternoon, or envision new advancements in the world of technology—they are all plans. I firmly believe that all plans are vulnerable to defeat.</p>

<p>In order for a plan to work, some thought must be assigned to the objective. “What, how, when, where, and why am I going to do it?” must be reiterated and reviewed in order to develop a strong foundation for a plan. It’s axiomatic that no matter the quantity of thought put in a plan, there is always a chance of it not proceeding as planned.</p>

<p>The tale of Martin Luther King Jr. is a great example of this. King had been a devout civil rights activist and believed in non-violent protest. He was considered one of the greatest salutary figures of all time because of his plan to eradicate second class citizenship in America. Martin had a plan. A plan of hope, a plan of justice, and a plan of equality—all of which was devised through years of trial and error. He had a perfect plan, and it had begun to succeed. However, because of the unforeseen events of his death, the master plan was disrupted. </p>

<p>Another example of a plan going wrong is the prison escape attempt in the popular Fox TV show Prison Break. The main actor, Michael Scoffield had dedicated his life after the unjustified imprisonment of his brother, Lincoln Scoffield, to devising a master plan to break Lincoln out. Michael spent numerous weeks analyzing every data point, sorting out potential threats, and planning work-arounds to potential problems. In the end, it appeared to be full-proof idea—one that would hopefully rescue his brother. Unfortunately, when exiting through one of the windows and over the external wall, the wire connecting the destination failed and resulted in one of the escapees being caught again. So, after months of study and conclusion, the perfect plan hadn’t been so perfect after all. </p>

<h2>In conclusion, for a plan to be perfect, Plan B must be perfect, and for Plan B to be perfect, Plan C must be perfect, and so on. Thus, it is impossible to have a perfect plan, for as humans, we cannot foresee the future, but instead speculate and take chances. For that is the only way we will find out the true outcome of our objectives.</h2>

<p>I know it sucks, but grade anyway. :)</p>

<p>should easily get an 11.... TV show references are awesome.</p>

<p>but since this is CC you get an 8.</p>

<p>Too kind, too kind :)
Anymore guys? I'll love you with all my heart if you grade.</p>

<p>seriously, most eng. teachers frown on reffering to tv and hollywood in general. id say 9ish</p>

<p>^ i referred to sex and the city and got a 12. lol</p>

<p>Bumpity bump bump. Anyone who rates gets a cookie, promise.</p>

<p>11 seems like a good grade for this</p>

<p>your examples are deftly integrated and your writing is lucid and unpretentious.</p>

<p>For the same topic, would quoting Murphy's law fare well?</p>

<p>I thought it was very good! I agree, an 11ish sounds good. =]</p>

<p>Wow, I really thought I wrote it a 7. Thank you so much guys.</p>

<p>well...it is a SEXY essay...that's gotta be +4 pts</p>

<p>yeah 11 plus minus one</p>

<p>I would give it an eleven.</p>

<p>:)
But wait, what do I have to improve to get a 12?</p>

<p>i would say another example would be to your benefit, just for lengths sake.</p>

<p>they just grade on structure and you integrated your examples well.</p>

<p>honestly this could be a 12. (11 +/- 1) but i can't see it getting under an 11.</p>

<p>Not to be picky, but did anyone notice that the last sentence is not a sentence? I also don't think you should have stated "I firmly believe that all plans are vulnerable to defeat"....instead it should just be "All plans are vulnerable to defeat." I thought the examples were excellent. I believe a 10 or 11 is definitely justified. Did you really write it in 25 mins?</p>

<p>I did, in fact I finished it in around 20 minutes and spent the last 5 correcting grammar. And lol you're right about the last and first lines, those were my mistakes. Thanks anyways :)</p>