Essay score? 1-6

<p>What would you give my essay, form 1-6?
Appreciate any feedback.</p>

<p>Traditionally the term "heroism" has been applied to those who have braved physical danger to defend a cause or to protect others. But one of the most feared dangers people face is that of disapproval by their family, peers, or community. Sometimes acting courageously requires someone to speak out at the risk of such rejection. We should consider those who do so true heroes.</p>

<p>Assignment: Should heroes be defined as people who say what they think when we ourselves lack the courage to say it? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your opinions with reasoning taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

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<p>Typically, a hero is someone who has demonstrated extreme power and bravery to help someone or defend something. The fictional character Indiana Jones, for example, is one such hero. Beowulf, who saved the Geats from Grendel the monster is another archetypical "hero" for the courage and strength he possessed. But the term hero takes on a broader meaning. A hero can also be someone who stands up for what they believe in while the others around them remain silent. Two people who epitomize such behavior are John the Savage, a character from Alduous Huxley's novel Brave New World, and radical abolitionist William Lloyd Garrison.</p>

<p>In Huxley's novel Brave New World, Huxley describes a futuristic society in which everyone's lives and personalities are determined before they even enter the world (through test tubes). One man, John the Savage, comes to the New World from the Savage Reservation, which is the world as we know it today. Everyone in the New World indulges in a drug called somma and has casual sex; worries are nonexistant. But when John reaches this New World, he finds himself very uncomfortable and uneasy. He angers many people by not adopting some of their ways of life. He speaks out against the apathy present in this society, in which it is frowned upon if a man and woman were to fall in love. Other outcasts, like Bernard Marx, look up to John for this strength of character. However, John is shunned by society and he is exiled. Although he eventually commits suicide, he proved that creating a disturbance in what appears to be utopia is a venerable quality, and was admired by others for it.</p>

<p>William Lloyd Garrison was a radical abolitionist during the pre-Civil War Era in the U.S. He favored extreme means by which slave masters and other oppressive owners would be punished. Garrison was from the North, and at this time it was unorthodox for a Northern white man to denounce slavery. He stood up for his strict beliefs, which would have a greater impact on the country after his death. A man with a strong character, Garrison fits the label of hero.</p>

<p>As literature and history show us, Indiana Jones and Beowulf, men who have braved physical danger, are not the only ones who should be looked up to. A hero is one who speaks for what they believe in at a time when others are afraid to themselves. The actions and opinions of Huxley's John the Savage, as well as abolitionist William Lloyd Garrison, clearly demonstrate what it can mean to be a hero.</p>

<p>Definitely a 5 with a potential for a 6 with an easy grader.</p>

<p>I think I would give you a 5, maybe a 6. I think you bring your point across well, and you make almost to no mistakes. It also follows the classical pattern that Princeton Review claims Collegeboard to expect. The one thing I would criticize is the transitions between the paragraphs. Also, You might have explained why standing up for beliefs might fit the usual definition for bravery as well.</p>

<p>I would give it a 5. It has 6 potential though. I'd make the two body paragraphs more even. The paragraph about Brave New World is much longer than the paragaph on Garrison</p>

<p>Yeah, I should've written more on Garrison.. I would've liked to.
Agh.
There's only so much you can do in 25 minutes (several of which were used to read the prompt/assignment, and decide on my examples).</p>

<p>What would be best to improve to insure that I get a 6 this Saturday?</p>