Hello to all,
In the interest of being vague-ish - I had a question about the essay subject for one of the schools I applied to… One says write about an experience with failure. Last year, I applied to boarding school (and specifically for that school) it didn’t work out. I was wondering if it would be too cliche write about my failed experience with that- and how I overcame it. Thank you!
I think you should dig deeper. I don’t know about cliche, but to me it just seems like you aren’t being as self-reflective as you could be and it could also be taken as strategic flattery aimed at the school. I also think you want to avoid giving the AO’s a reason to roll their eyes.
I agree with @AppleNotFar
Seems like a risky essay… Unless you can make it very personal and show that you somehow came out of it with a new understanding or something… I sort of think that BS failure is more of a college essays… Not sure how appropriate it would be to write about it in a new round of BS applications… Maybe try another topic if there is one… Also there is bound to be more failures… BS applications can’t be the only one… It doesn’t really matter how big or small the event was… Its how you write/reflect/narrate that matters the most.
Ask yourself this- Why do you think BS’s ask about your past failures? BS is tough- it might be the first environment where you’re not the smartest, most talented, most athletic… It’s a place that makes every student re-evaluate who they are and who they want to be. With that said- and this is my limited opinion- I think BS’s want to make sure that their students are resilient and ready for the inevitable failures. The students they try to chose not only have the best academic/curricular records but they are also ready for BS life. What experiences in your life have prepared you for disappointment? And how have you overcome them?
@AppleNotFar @Copperboom @Atria I was doing it on more how I used to consider myself as someone who was boarding school ready, and held the ability to get into boarding school as something imperative to my self-esteem/quality. But after doing that, and doing a lot of self-reflection on myself, I was able to yadah yadah yadah (it will be more personal in the essay)
Isn’t the fact that you are reapplying plenty demonstrative of the fact that you have bounced back? And if that is the case, aren’t you essentially “wasting” an opportunity to tell the school something really interesting about you by choosing this topic?
My takeaway about you right now is that if not getting into boarding school has been your most significant failure/disappointment, you really have a charmed and comfortable life, and that you’ve been quite sheltered from the many, many, many small and big troubles in the world, either due to your circumstances and/or because you have your head in the sand.
So two points here: 1) don’t be trite or redundant, and 2) show some depth. To illustrate the first point, AppleKid is a strong athlete but didn’t touch on this in the essays/short answers because it was substantially covered in the candidate profile including the multimedia attachments. As to the second point, I think you are on the right track with thinking about your failure to get in to BS as being a challenge which changed your personal perspective (moment of inflection), but surely there have been more of these experiences? Perhaps think about times when you have had to make a choice. Maybe you made a bad choice, or you realized that you could have made a better choice. Did you ever fail to act when you should have? When else have you fallen short of the expectations you have/had for yourself?
I think this is a question a lot of students have a hard time answering. Take some time to think about your life- Where have you truly struggled? Make a list- The point is to stand out with your application. You need to tell your own unique story- I can not stress this enough. Be authentic. The one common experience EVERY BS student has had is applying to schools ( and being wL/rejected) The essays are a chance for them to really get to know you outside of applying and academics.
I think that if you use the fact that you didn’t get into BS as an opportunity to think about yourself, that could work, because as @AppleNotFar points out, this is your chance to show that you can dig deeper. For example, if you thought that you’d get in because you’re really smart, and this made you realize that you’ve been a big fish in a small pond , or it made you re-think the value of intelligence in the context of who you are a person, well, that could work, but it has to be genuine. It can’t just be a clever idea.
Remember that failure doesn’t have to be something that you set out to do and did not – it could be realizing after the fact that there was something that you should have done that you did not. Maybe you didn’t speak up for someone/something, maybe you didn’t try to do something because you thought you wouldn’t do well or would look foolish. There are a lot of ways to fail besides the obvious ones!
Also remember that this is a chance to tell the admissions committee who you really are. Think about who you want that person to be. One thing that most readers say is really important in an application is that the person you describe as you is the same person the recommenders describe and the same person they meet for an interview. You can’t be the “wrong” applicant if you really know yourself!
Don’t overthink this. Most kids applying to BS have limited experience with failure in an extreme way. Yes, not getting into BS applies–or perhaps having to retaking a class, or not making a team. Not to trivialize these events, but it’s about how you respond to them, shift focus, are resilient etc. There is virtually no way to approach the topic that won’t be covered the same way by another applicant–or many applicants–past or present. But don’t worry about it. The most important thing is to write a strong essay that shows how you coped with the event and how you are more prepared for challenges in the future. It’s far better IMO to write an authentic essay about a real disappointment or failure than try and create one that you think might fit the admissions’ reviewer’s expectation.
@AppleNotFar I truly have not been sheltered - I would like not to go into personal details, however, the admissions committee says write about a time you failed. I do not believe certain life events that have happened out of my control are my failure - sorry if that’s my “sheltered” opinion. I could write about failing to make a team, or get a lead in a play; however, that’s not something that truly effected me. I wanted to go to BS since 6th grade, and that was something that was in a certain realm of control that had an effect on me. I would once again like to beg that you don’t jump to conclusions about someone’s life, as you truly cannot see all that they have been through.
@AppleNotFar sorry for the rude comment - however, I have gone through things in my personal life with being called spoiled, etc. that really can irk me. Would writing about a time I got in trouble be an idea (or should I stray away from that)
The size of you “failure” is not evaluated. No one is rejected from an elite school because they didn’t write about a “big enough” failure. Be humble, be honest, and write well.
Not getting into boarding school the first two cycles really changed my outlook on why I work hard and thickened my skin. I think your topic could be compelling, just make sure to–as someone said above–dig deep.
@ivydreamer01 You might be surprised, but your last two posts made me smile. I like them because you spoke up and I heard your voice. If you were my kid I would want that same voice to come through in the school essays. Moxie is a good thing in my book. (I also appreciate that you were sensitive enough to acknowledge that your comment may have been taken as rude.)
When it comes down to it, you should feel what you are writing, whatever the topic—“very personal” as recommended by @Atria, “genuine” as advised by @gardenstategal, “authentic” as @copperboom put it, “honest” as suggested by @Mr.Wendal. My gut still tells me that writing about your failure to get into boarding school is more common than other experiences you could write about. Apparently you had the same feeling too, or you wouldn’t have created this thread in the first place.
But you are right, I don’t know you and my advice is given in the context of quite limited information; I don’t even exactly know the full explanation of the essay you are supposed to write so it’s hard to give truly relevant feedback. Your responses to me hint at some deeper thoughts, feelings and experiences, and that’s what I’d be tapping into if it were me regardless of the failure you finally pick.
One last thing. About jumping to conclusions about people. My opinion of you is not the point I was trying to make in my first post. What I was trying to remind you of is that everything you present to the schools will be part of an impression being made about you by the admissions staff. And that with no other qualifying information, the topic of failing to get into boarding school in and of itself could give the impression which I described. (And, for what it’s worth, when I form impressions about people I do try to remain open to the fact that there may be additional information I don’t have about them which would alter my impressions. There’s more than meets the eye in AppleFamily too!)
@stargirl3 Nice to hear from you. You are a CC superstar =)
You should not try to game it. You should write about a failure that did affect you - which may well be the initial rejection. That seems valid to me. Just be reflective about how you really felt about it and what you did besides reapplying to address it.