<p>So, I've heard that I should try to present information in the essays that is not already in the application...</p>
<p>So I tried writing an essay about me losing weight and stuff and I thought it was good until my English teacher didn't think it was too hot. </p>
<p>Is focusing on one particular EC, like getting my black belt in Taekwondo, too narrow ?
Or should I describe multiple achievements/talents/etc.</p>
<p>Thanks in advance</p>
<p>To warn you, I am an 09er writing an essay myself, so my post here is based on what I've seen and heard from others and what makes sense to me; take it for what it's worth:</p>
<p>I would write about a topic that reveals something significant about you in an interesting manner. It should set you apart from every other applicant with your stats and similar ECs. I don't think you want to list multiple achievements and talents, as that's elsewhere in your application. If you can talk about obtaining your black belt and show why it was important to you and not just describe the feat itself, it could be a fine topic. </p>
<p>Just curious, what did your English teacher not like about your first essay? Was it how you presented the topic or the topic itself?</p>
<p>Thanks for the input</p>
<p>My english teacher thought it was trying to be too much. He also felt I was being indirect in explaining the connections in my essay. Most importantly, he felt like the topics I chose were too forced...</p>
<p>For example, one of the essays I talked about my race and he felt "I shouldn't take that path" because I didn't present a concrete example of how my race has hindered me, I only talked about how I lived in a world in which it was possible for my race to hinder me. </p>
<p>I'm currently trying to write a new essay on my blackbelt now...</p>
<p>Any more suggestions?</p>
<p>^ You could definitely turn an anecdote about your blackbelt-ing (?) excursions into an interesting essay...perhaps lead it into some life moral that tights to your race issue?</p>