In a word, nope. The closure of Grill has been mentioned by my son a couple of times, initially because he was surprised and disappointed, and now because he’s deeply annoyed. His feeling was some kids viewed it as an extension of the dining hall, and felt it was somehow less wrong to steal from the school than an outside business. Yes, there are kids who make stupid choices with dubious moral reasoning everywhere. I don’t think it reflects a larger ethical crisis - the school has done the right thing in closing it, and expect when Grill reopens, there won’t be as much of an issue.
I think there are a couple of things at play with any school’s newspaper. 1. The writers and editors want the paper to be read and discussed. As with any media source, the quotes and stories that are published are chosen to draw the reader in. 2. These are the work of individual students, and different students will view the school and the goings-on differently. I made sure to get copies of student publications from almost all of the schools we looked at, and there was a wide range of tone, from over-the-top peppy cheerleading, to bitter and cynical, and everything in between - within the same paper. 3. Student reports are often written without complete knowledge of a situation, on a deadline by a kid who may also be balancing academics, sports, music, and other commitments. I think the student writers and editors do a phenomenal job, but it’s important to keep in mind they’re not professionals, this isn’t a direct communication from the administration and - perhaps most importantly - off-campus adults are reading it with a very different eye than their intended audience does.
It’s difficult to speak generally about a campus culture, because the campus contains a multitude of distinct cultures, each with their own values. There are silos, so to speak, of every sort: specific sports teams, dorms, arts/theater, academic interests, extracurricular interests, affinity groups. Most kids will feel a strong connection with one or two groups in particular, those kids will be their close friends, and while they’ll interact with and know other kids on campus, they may have very little in common with the kids outside of their silo. My son has met people he will probably be friends with for life, and he’s met people he would be happy to never see again. It’s just like any other setting.
I do want to say that the school is in a transition period, but I feel the interim principal, Bill Rawson, is a wonderful addition to campus and is truly being thoughtful about community, culture and values. I’ve met him a couple of times, and found him to be not just clearly skilled and uniquely well suited for the role, but also genuinely warm. If you get a chance, read more about him or watch his opening day assembly speech. As an alumna who heard some form of “You are the best and the brightest” from that stage every week (and saw the sense of entitlement that follows from that sentiment), it was quite powerful to hear him say, “We are not special simply because we are here. But because we are here, we have the opportunity to accomplish special things together.”
I had a conversation recently with a faculty member who has been at the school for close to 30 years, and says they can’t believe the positive difference he’s made in less than a year. Are there still specific concerns I have about Exeter? Absolutely. Some students obsess about grades and college, taking perverse pride in being overworked and overwhelmed, and I think that mentality is corrosive for the entire student body. Do I think the school is genuinely trying to support students and focus more on growth as individuals? Without a doubt.
