Does any current Exeter student know what the dorms are like in Lamont Hall? On earlier threads it said that the dorms are pretty divided from the rest of the school, which I suppose is true in terms of geography, but is that also true socially? They also commented that the girls there are usually pretty artsy and alternative. To what extent do these stereotypes ring true?
@hellofrands thanks for answering my questions! I have a few more:
When would I take the placement tests for math and language?
Do private music lessons, music ensembles (choirs, chamber music, etc.), and dance classes count as some of the maximum five “academic courses”?
Can tablets/laptops be used to takes notes in classes such as math, english, science, history, or language (spanish)?
What is there to do on the weekends?
Thanks!!
Oooh, @Anonymousia, I think I can answer one of those:
Private music lessons are not part of your five course load and are worth 1/3 credit per term. It’ll only count as a course if you take a performance course, MUS400 or 500, which requires you take private music lessons in tandem with the course.
The dance lessons are only semi-private and are worth 1/3 credit per term. Dance classes can be used to fulfill PE requirements, but are not academic courses.
https://www.exeter.edu/documents/COI/COI2016-17.pdf
I could be wrong, but I think that’s what the manual is indicating.
Okay wow! There are a lot of questions! I will start with @edccrv
- The dating scene at Exeter is quite decent for most people I would say. Many people don't have relationships, some people just like to go on casual dates, some people just want physical relationships (it's true), and some people are in very long term committed relationships. It all varies, and I'd say that for both guys and girls, you have a fair shot and finding romance during your four years at Exeter. Definitely not out of the picture.
- Math and harkness actually work really well, in my opinion, and what happens is we get around 8 word problems a night, and we come into class and immediately put a problem on the board (it can be right, mostly right, or clearly wrong), and we go through the class and go over each problem, figuring out concepts and formulas on the way (we tend to derive a lot of formulas ourselves). The students present the problems they put up and it really builds presentation skills, and teaches kids to be comfortable with not having all the answers, which is actually really helpful in terms of self-confidence.
- Yes, Exeter has a visitations policy, and yes the door has to be open, but it really only has to be ajar, plus damn near all dorm faculty are a-ok with all four feet off the floor, trust me. Even stricter dorm faculty that i've encountered are actually quite lax about visitations. Also, this visitation policy is quite standard at many boarding schools, even if it isn't at another school you may be considering. Believe me, if I thought the V's policy was really annoying, I'd tell you, but in my experience it isn't that bad at all.
- Life definitely gets tougher when you become an upperclassman (as it does anywhere), and a lot of people will end up spending time together while studying so they can have fun while being productive, but I definitely know many people who go out to eat all the time, go to the movies, go shopping, and have fun with their friends all the time. There are always going to be times when you might have to be alone and get that one paper done, but overwhelmingly, if you want a social life, you can definitely have one. I personally go out with my friends all the time, and so do tons of other people.
wow. I wrote quite a bit. but overall, it seems like someone has shed a really negative light on exeter for you, and just keep in mind that most other boarding schools are quite similar to exeter, and that even as I came back home to my public school friends, they are living quite similar lives that are quite busy, but definitely balanced.
@junemaybees are you talking about how the rooms are in lamont hall? if so, I’ve heard they are pretty small, but there are many very happy girls in lamont.
Lamont is that one girls dorm that gets kind of a bad rep for being so secluded (in terms of quieter girls and a more obscure location), but if you’ve been to campus, you will see that geography doesn’t matter that much as all, as all of the dorms no more than a ten minute walk from each other (that’s from one end of campus to the other btw).
Going back to lamont, yes people see their girls as being quieter, but there are definitely popular, fun, outgoing girls in lamont as there are in every dorm, as well as their fair share of quiet girls. I personally wouldn’t move into lamont if it were my choice, but most all of the girls in lamont love living there, and really see it as their home.
I wouldn’t get too worked up about dorm stereotypes because you will realize by the end of your first term here that anyone can live anywhere regardless if they exemplify a certain dorm stereotype or not. Also, even the most popular dorms have their downfalls, and if you are end of your first year at exeter and really aren’t happy with your dorm, you can always move out.
I honestly have no idea when the school will exactly have you take placement tests, but i’m assuming it should be in the next month or two, because you all have to start picking your courses. Stay tuned!
@junemaybees is correct, dance, music ensembles, and lessons do not count towards the five academic courses you can take. Dance can be taken as one’s sport, and a lot of people choose to take this route at some point during the year. Also, you need a full year of music or performance art to fulfill your art requirement i believe (but I’m in the choir so I have long fulfilled this requirement, so I may not be the best one to ask)
Tablets can be used in almost every single class to take notes, but there are sometimes some English teachers that are against using electronics in class (then again you don’t really need them for english here). But almost every teacher I’ve had is really open to using laptops and tablets at the table, and they trust that you are being responsible with them, and actually are taking notes, instead of checking Facebook (which everyone does at some point, hehe).
On the weekends, the school often puts on some kind of event, whether it be a dance, an open mic night, or some kind of invited performer (like a comedian, spoken word artist, or magician). Students can also go to the mall or movies, go into town of course, or just hang out on campus. All are fair game, there is no cost to these events, and they are typically actually really fun!
@Anonymousia You probably will get your math placement, and if you feel in the first two weeks of school that you are too high or too low, with the teacher’s permission you can move accordingly. I’d advise you to really speak up once you get here about your math placement, so that you aren’t struggling or breezing through too much. 
@Anonymousia I took my placement tests in May, and found out what course I was placed in later that same month. I personally was not very happy with my placement, as I’ve found a lot of other new lowers are, but there are opportunities for acceleration along the way if that’s what you want, so I wouldn’t worry.
As for dorms, here’s my take on the girls dorms:
(Also while south side does have a couple more athletes because it’s closer to the gym, I don’t think that one side is more ‘laid-back’ or ‘less academic’ than the other one)
North Side:
Merrill: attached to Wetherall, pretty tight-knit, lots of members of Fem club and GSA in the dorm, very very nice people
Langdell: also attached to Wetherall, VERY tight-knit community, good number of athletes but also a lot of very academically-focused girls, great dorm fac, as someone mentioned before it has that “quintessential dorm feel”
Wheelwright: very close to Wetherall, pretty tight-knit but not as much as Langdell or Merrill, huge common room, just renovated
Hoyt: weird layout, very nice girls, seems pretty tight-knit
Lamont: has a bad reputation, location is kind of removed but very close to the health center which is a plus, known for quieter, more reserved girls but that is slowly changing…
South Side:
Dunbar: biggest girls dorm, lots of hockey players/athletes, pretty tight-knit despite the huge size
Amen: best facilities by far, lots of artsy girls and athletes, seems pretty close
McConnell: rooms are all singles and are pretty small, girls are kind of close-knit (?), good location (right by the Library and Elm)
there are also some houses on south side for upperclassmen girls who want a smaller dorm environment (Moulton and Kirtland)
Hi, thanks for the willingness to answer questions. My DH and I just spent a few hours with friends that spent years as dorm faculty at a boarding school. We spent some time picking their brains about how we should approach the decision making process with our kid. Our friends feel that the most important differences we should try to identify among the schools we are looking at are those that exist outside of the classroom and beyond extra-curricular activities. To them the essential questions are “what will life be like for your kid after classes, sports and extracurricular activities are over; and in particular, what kinds of relationships will they have with the adults in their lives who will be responsible for their well-being and development, especially their social and emotional development”. Their bias is clear given their background, yet my DH and I agree that yes, this is very important to us. So, with that very long introduction, I would like to ask:
What are the relationships like between students and dorm faculty/other advisors outside of the school day? What kind of access do students have to the dorm faculty both structured and unstructured? For example:
-Do students and faculty share meals and or snacks together?
-Do students regularly just stop in to visit with their dorm faculty in their residences? Is this true for all dorms or does it depend on a student’s particular dorm assignment?
-What types of programming/activities do dorm faculty provide for their students and with what frequency? Can students opt out of participation? If these activities are optional, how successful are the adults in getting kids involved?
Thanks so much for any reflections you can offer in this regard!
@AppleNotFar I’m a current lower, and I think I might be able to help with some of these questions. In my dorm we have very good relationships with the faculty. One of my academic teachers actually lives in my dorm, and I personally really love that I can have a more informal relationship with her, spending time in her apartment with her and her husband along with other students when she is on duty, and then also have a good relationship in the classroom. Also, it’s super convenient for homework help! Sometimes students and faculty eat together, but this situation would not be the norm and usually only happens if it was pre-scheduled.
Students only really ‘drop by’ the faculty’s apartments when they are on duty. There is a faculty on duty every night from 7-11, and during these times they are either in a front area of their apartment or in the common room. They usually have food out, and these times are also used by many teachers as ‘office hours’ for extra help. However, the faculty give out their cell phone numbers to all the students (and parents) at the beginning of the year, and if you ever need anything you can always send them a text.
In my dorm the faculty on duty always puts out food and usually there is some sort of activity going on as well. Some teachers host movie nights in their apartments, some put out fun activities and some will organize little dorm events. A lot of this happens after the dorm fac leaves (particularly on Saturday nights), and people in my dorm usually stay in the common room and talk or watch TV for a while. I would say that most people participate in dorm activities and other things like that. Academy Life Day, organized by the proctors and dorm faculty, takes place in September and is a really good dorm bonding day.
All of this is just the impression I get from my own dorm and from what friends have said, but I hope this helps!
@coconut5 That’s really helpful info, thank you for sharing!
@AppleNotFar In my dorm, students don’t really pop into a faculty’s house. My dorm faculty has only had about 2 all-dorm events this year. Sometimes students run games but the turnout is usually only 1/3 to 1/2 of the dorm. Dorm culture really varies based on dorm. My dorm doesn’t usually have food like coconut5 but we have cake once a month for birthdays in the dorm.
I have eaten meals with faculty in d-hall and visited houses before-it’s just not a common occurrence.
@AppleNotFar I’ll just basically repeat what @coconut5 said:
As for dorm activities, there are many opportunities for dorm bonding, including dorm snack (mine has it every Saturday), dorm open mic, dorm zumba, gym night, and we also have an entire day at the beginning of the year dedicated to dorm bonding, called Academy Life Day. There are no classes and many dorms go out bowling, apple picking, or do different kinds of activities.
As for student-faculty relationships, students and faculty are constantly interacting, and while we don’t have formal sit down meals like some other boarding schools, our faculty live with us, and for many students our faculty advisors and so we have a really tight bond with the people we live with. The faculty rotate duty for check-in, and especially for underclassmen, they come around the each room and say good night or catch up with them as they check them in. We also have advisee meetings every Wednesday, where you and a group of maybe 5-12 advisees come to a meeting place with your advisor to catch up, play games, get academic advice, or eat food! It depends on the advisor, but most people really love their advisors, and they have a special relationship with them!
Also something that’s actually so amazing about dorms are exeter is that you stay in the same dorm all four years so you really get to know everyone in your dorm and the dorm faculty super well. It’s actually awesome. Dorms here are almost like super-watered down fraternities and sororities (not really, but I like to think of them in that way). All dorms have a cute little culture, and it’s really great to automatically have 15-60 friends who you live with.
Exeter reallyyy values faculty-student relationships, and many kids have a faculty or two that they really trust and love.
@edccrv Not a lot of people date. There’s more hooking up. Not many people are nerdy at Exeter IMO.
Hopefully the Vs policy will be changing. Student council is proposing a new visitations policy over spring term.
@GryffinHunter and @hellofrands thanks for your replies. I’m a little bummed about the experience @GryffinHunter has had; and I would be really bummed if that was my kid’s experience. Is there an opportunity to request a dorm assignment that has a more “hands-on” dorm faculty or is it luck of the draw?
Cilley, Soule, Ewald are a close knit group of boys dorm I’d always recommend.
For girls, Bancroft is close knit and my favorite dorm on campus. @AppleNotFar
By close-knit I mean how close all the students are, not necessarily how involved the faulty are- I couldn’t tell you much about that. Faculty aren’t really there to be your parents away from home- I’d say whoever likened dorms to small fraternities or sororities had it best. You’re going to go to older people in your dorm for questions or support. Events outside the dorm are way more common than events inside. There’s going to be events the school holds every weekend.
@GryffinHunter I appreciate your candor.
@GryffinHunter I appreciate your candor as well. I worry about my reserved kid making friends and being included. He has no problem participating in class but he is sort of inhibited personally. Will that sort of person find their way? One of our goals with BS was to help him break out of his shell. I fear he will sit in his room and read …
@Center I know your question wasn’t directed at me, but I will just chime in if I may.
Being shier at Exeter is something that I think for most will only affect maybe the first few weeks at most of being at Exeter. By the end of September, people are so busy with clubs, sports, music, and classes and will have had so many mixers and dorm bonding opportunities that I think your kid will have no problems finding some friends during their first term at Exeter. Of course, things will settle in more during the winter and spring terms, and some friends may change, but overall, many people feel very comfortable after the first few weeks and feel that they have at least a few people that they can comfortably hang out with.
Also they say if you make time, you can read at Exeter, but with so much going on, in the first few weeks I don’t know if your kid will be able to do much pleasure reading. And don’t be discouraged by any initial blues your kid may have. It’s an entirely new place with lots of new people and ways of doing things, so there will always be a learning curve.
@hellofrands Thanks–it was really just a general question so thank you for answering. He loves to read but would rather be doing…I said reading because he often reads to occupy time… He would do everything he could with others if he could: as the much younger youngest he craves being away from us with peers but we are pretty strict. I think he will be fine, He just isnt the type to say “hey can I come along” or “what are you all doing and so forth”…