<p>D1 was placed with another soccer player by the coach. Was good while in season but not so much after. They’re still friends but just not roomies.</p>
<p>From what I’ve seen and experienced, the key is <em>expectation.</em></p>
<ul>
<li><p>In my experience, kids who’ve met early and suggested living together out of genuine interest and compatibility have had an easier time than those who’ve made the same suggestion out of fear or desperate attempts to avoid the “random pool.” If you really think you want to live with someone, then hey, trust your gut. But the “random pool” is made out to be much scarier than it really is. Some (not all!) schools really do put great effort into matching people, and their quasi-random guessing is based on more experience than yours.</p></li>
<li><p>Never expect a friend. Learn to be roommates first and foremost, and if you’re friends on top of that, great. My freshman roommate and I hit it off immediately…identical tastes and interests, similar personalities, fast friends, fantastic living experience. We never really had to learn to live with each other, because it came naturally. The next year, when we roomed together again, personalities changed, groups of friends started changing, etc. and the two of us really grew apart as friends. Trouble was, we had no roommate relationship to fall back on. It was a mess, but it did prove to me that respect and flexibility, not friendship, form the backbone of a good living arrangement.</p></li>
<li><p>I think a possible problem with choosing your own roommate is that you’re more likely to expect the situation to work out. You may feel like the tough part is done, while kids getting randomly assigned may be more likely to go in with open minds, and with the expectation that they’ll have to work to learn to live with a stranger. Results, IMO, probably have at least as much (and maybe more) to do with attitude + effort than with the actual people involved.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>Re: Living with a good friend. I’ve heard good and bad stories. Just be aware of how likely it is that you’ll both really change/grow when you get to school…social opportunities will be different, you’ll form new interests, you’ll join different activities, you may find different groups of friends. If you’re both open to those types of changes (and to the fact that they might lead you in different directions), then you could be fine, but I personally think that’s easier said than done. Freshman year is just so unpredictable. You may want to consider living apart as freshman, but perhaps rooming together after that. Really, though, I have great friends with whom I can live wonderfully, and others who would drive me up the wall (and vice versa, I’m sure)…when it comes down to it, you know your friendship the best.</p>
<p>My daughter went random and hit the jackpot. They get a long great and are planning to room together again next year. My husband and I say the girls are twins separated by birth and height (my daughter’s 5’4 1/2 and her roommate’s 5’7 almost 5’8).</p>
<p>I applied early decision to my college, and was so excited when I got in, that I immediately started talking to other students who’d gotten in over the Livejournal community. A bunch of us met up at “Wesfest,” the prefrosh weekend. I wound up spending most of my time with this one girl, and we just clicked. We were both concerned about winding up with a roommate who might do a lot of drugs, etc. and thought it would be easier to just live with each other. We did, and I think we had a great experience. She’s still probably my best friend, and in fact, I’m planning to get a house with her and some other friends next year as a senior! :)</p>
<p>Hehe, I had a similar experience as Madjoy. I met my Freshmen year roommate at WesFest. We clicked, so we decided to live together. It worked out really well, and although we’re not going to live together again (probably), we’re still good friends. OTOH, as well as getting along at a personality level, we’re both people who are relatively flexible and (at least in my case) not too particular in our living habits, which helped a lot.</p>
<p>dt- yeah most colleges to have questionaires. however the only questions on mine were do you smoke, are you messy or neat, do you go to sleep early or late, do you study in silence or with bkground noise, do you have food alergies. cant really determine a good match just from those questions. still.. i would say go in random</p>
<p>Azingamer, one thing you might not have thought about rooming with a good friend - you will both be meeting new people, and if you get invited to go somewhere with someone new you’ve met, will you feel obligated to bring her along? Or vice-verse? In other words, will you both feel free to develop friendships separate from each other? It’s something you’d need to discuss in advance, otherwise it could lead to hurt feelings and really damage your friendship.</p>
<p>My own experience - was randomly assigned based on a questionnaire. We ended up living together for 3 years. Son was randomly assigned, he and his roommate get along but I doubt they’ll room together next year, roommate will probably live with one of his sports teammates. But they get along fine for now.</p>
<p>I met my rommate on College Confidential. Then I met the other 2 on facebook.</p>
<p>Haha. Did it work out for you?</p>
<p>historymom and momneedsadvice thanks for your replies. First and foremost I am a male :]. My friend and I are very good at spending time apart, and we do have different groups of friends, so i dont see that as being a problem. </p>
<p>I have heard of people’s personalities changing a lot after entering college, do you think this has more to do with a person maturing, rather than changing? </p>
<p>In all honesty, i am quite afraid to be randomly matched. It is like gambling, and i feel like my unluckiness will come back to me, and i will be stuck with someone i don’t like very much. Do lots of people feel anxiety when it comes to roomates?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I think that “growing” might be the fairest choice. Yes, there will be some maturity that comes along with moving away from home, being in charge of one’s own schedule, etc. But as a freshman, you may also be exposed to things that you’ve never really seen or thought about before. Change might be minor…someone who’s never really cared for languages might discover a passion for ancient Greek, or a kid who’s never thought about singing could go out and audition for an a cappella group. Change could also be more major, and could affect the living situation…social preferences could really switch–a heavy partier could get sick of the scene, or a quiet non-drinker could dive in (a very extreme case of the latter was what happened with my RM, who was randomly assigned our first year, but chosen our second). Just one example. It’s possible that long-term friends will change, and of course it’s also possible that your questionnaire-based RM could change. There are pluses and minuses to both possibilities.</p>
<p>Being ‘randomly’ matched is built up to be scarier than it is. I think it’s common to feel anxiety (the CC roommate questions will only increase between now and next fall), but many also feel curious and excited. Some questions to ask early on, before deciding on a rooming situation one way or another, might be (1) how are students matched (questionnaires differ widely, as do their success rates); (2) how difficult/common is it to switch rooms/roommates if something doesn’t work out?</p>
<p>Azngamer, fear over a random match is normal. Most of the time it works well or is at least tolerable. </p>
<p>If you and your friend get along well over long periods of time together, but have separate groups of friends and are comfortable allowing each other to go your own ways, rooming together might work out for you.</p>
<p>My husband roomed with a friend from hs for a year and a half (then the friend became an RA). They knew each other from playing on a team together but hadn’t been particularly close. It worked out great for them. </p>
<p>Are you going to have the same major? Do the same activities? If so you might find there’s a bit too much togetherness. People might get to know you as a pair, instead of individually. </p>
<p>If you and your friend are able to agree on your expectations in advance regarding new friendships, it could work out fine.</p>
<p>I’m going to be rooming with a close friend from elementary school next year. We’ve known each other practically our whole lives. She moved in 5th grade to a nearby suburb and I moved a couple years later a couple hours away. We have kept in touch all these years online and always have gotten along great. When we knew we were both going to the same college, we decided that it would be cool to room together and catch up. I know there won’t be any problems. I’m a neat person who gets along with everybody.. and she’s the same, lol. We’re both straight A students and take school seriously.</p>
<p>Do you think this would work out alright?</p>
<p>My roommate and I were randomly assigned and we now love each other.</p>
<p>I am a bit nervous about the whole roomate issue but i really want to meet some new people. I am caught between rooming with a very close friend who attends my high school (she got accepted to the same college). But this conflicts with my intentions to get to know an entirely knew person. Besides is it worth putting a friendship on the line since rooming with a person can reveal certain bad habits and create conflict…boy! this sucks…</p>
<p>personally, i wouldn’t room with a really good friend just because you don’t want to ruin a friendship. but the other way i see it is if you really don’t get along with your roomate, you could always hang out at your friend’s room until you can switch.</p>
<p>I choose to get randomly assigned, because everyone ive talked to said that when you room with your friends, you end up hating them.</p>
<p>I would say it depends on the two people involved. There’s a reason most colleges discourage rooming with a friend from hs but don’t ban it altogether. Friends rooming together is LESS likely to work out than a random pairing (especially if the random roommates were honest on the roommate questionnaire), but it does sometimes work out.</p>
<p>I’m going to say right off the bat, if you want an unbiased opinion… I’m probably not the right person to ask. </p>
<p>So my (now-ex) roommate asked me on facebook if I wanted to room with her. She seemed nice enough and we had similar interested, and I figured it was better than someone random. So I said yes. WORST DECISION EVER. She turned out to be kinda crazy. Had definite OCD tendencies. Had very different study/sleeping habits than me. Wouldn’t talk to me for days on end- only when I directly spoke to her would she answer me. Yelled at my like she was my mother. Had an obnoxious boyfriend. Put notes around the room reminding me to do things. Basically a nightmare roommate. She apparently went to the RA (without even talking to me or trying to resolve our issues) and asked for a transfer. I came back from our fall break and she was gone. No note or anything. I found out through mutual friends that she moved to a single. Definitely worked out for the best. My new roomie isn’t my best friend, but we get along and the environment is so much better. I don’t feel like I have to walk on egg shells. She does her thing and I do mine. But we respect each other and I would consider her a friend. Like somebody else mentioned, I wonder all the time what would have happened if I left it up to chance, but I guess I’ll never know, haha. But if I could do it all over again, I would totally just do the random roommate thing…</p>
<p>Its like drugs. Just say no!</p>
<p>i did exactly this and it worked out terribly…you are inevitably idealistic when it comes to going off to college - you’re excited, you want to believe the best of people. She turned out to be full of lies and my experience was horrendous…perhaps one to go in the “worst roommate” hall of fame:/ i highly recommend that you leave the choice to the questionnaire-they tend to do a good job:)</p>