Extracurricular activities or work experiences essay

College Essays
1

<p>Hey, I was just wondering if someone would be kind enough to read my short 1000 character or less paragraph on how an extracurricular activity affected my life.</p>

<p>Hockey has made a huge impact on my life and without it I would be a much different person than I am today. It has taught me some life lessons, which you can't find anywhere else. It not only strengthened me physically, but it also taught me how to be disciplined, how to work together on a team, and to be committed until the very end. Over my years of playing, after all of my time, and hard work I learned that no matter what you do you should enjoy it. Success is hard to reach when you aren't happy. As long as you have fun, and you use the lessons life hands you, you should never be disappointed and you should be able to reach success. It may be surprising what an extracurricular activity can teach you.</p>

<p>Thanks in advance!</p>

2

<p>Great essay, but remember, this about YOU, it seems like you are trying to teach the admissions officer a life lesson on working hard. Be yourself and let them know who you are and how it has changed you as a person not others! I know you can do it!</p>

<p>p.s. a little more detail would not hurt either.</p>

3

<p>It’s a good essay, but I think you should focus more on how hockey taught you all those life lessons, instead of listing them. I can see you’re passionate about hockey, but I don’t know why. I think it’d be great if you mentioned why hockey is so special to you and how it has made you a better person.</p>