<p>Today, at least, I decided to back off my S and stop trying to organize his life. He has very good grades and class rank, unknown test scores, and attends an IB public school in a medium sized city that traditionally sends kids to top schools (not too many ivies). He played an instrument since 3rd grade but had to give it up this year because of IB block scheduling. He was on the swim team for 2 years but hates it and it really is not worth the time he was putting in. He will continue with volleyball (hopefully with the time saved from eliminating swim team, he can join a club team in the off-season). He does have a black belt in martial arts and might be able to volunteer at another school; his school changed management recently.</p>
<p>After visiting 5 dream schools this summer (Middlebury, Dartmouth, Amherst, Wesleyan, and Lafayette), my husband is really starting to push him. H thinks that giving up orchestra (really no choice) and swimming makes him look like a quitter. He has to do 150 hours CAS (creativity, athletic, service) for the IB diploma, so he will have to pick up some more activities but I think that we need to leave it up to him. It is SO HARD not to interfere. Visiting the colleges this summer got him interested but we need to show him some more realistic alternative.</p>
<p>S had no idea of colleges except for 2 local universities and Penn State where he had gone for vb camp. We had him read about some colleges from a list that H and I thought might interest him. Although he didn't know much about colleges, he was adamant that he would not go to the small colleges that his cousins or his parents attended. I was absolutely surprised when he said that he wanted to look at Dartmouth and even more surprised when we visited the school and he liked it (bought 2 t-shirts!). He is realistic about his chances, even if he gets 2200+ on his SATs but he wants to apply. Academically, I know he could handle a top-tier school; he knows how to study and is organized (didn't get that from either parent!) but he is not interested in doing ECs to make himself stand out and that is his choice. After being miserable socially in middle school, he now has a great group of friends that he enjoys spending time with. His latest passion is rock music and he is teaching himself bass guitar (had one lesson but wants to do it on his own). I know from reading about kids here (I lurked for 6 months before posting) that many of the CC kids are involved in multiple EC and have fantastic resumes. I think that I am trying to convince myself that he needs to make his own choices and his dad and I cannot relive and fix our mistakes of youth through him.</p>
<p>Let him choose his activities. If your husband wants him to continue strictly for application reasons, tell him that by only doing things he loves, your son will be able to write an authentically enthusiastic essay about his activities that will help him get into schools. He should look into the volleyball teams if he is good enough to walk on and try out for a spot. There are threads abotu athletic recruiting that describe the process. He would need to be good, but not necessarily a superstar. If he a good enough, those test scores will help him more that any activity!</p>
<p>what grade is your son????
EC's are impt....continuous ones are sticking with something is impt. However with an explanation its fine like club sport or private lessons. </p>
<p>My son won't do anything so be happy!!!! They need to have some say in their lives....if he is a good kid, making good grades and involved in some activities....what is the complaint?</p>
<p>Unfortunately, volleyball isn't a desired sport at most schools and he isn't that good anyway. His coach told him last year that his skills were at a "C" level and his leadership and teamwork was an "A". Made me happy but he was depressed for days--the first C he has gotten since handwriting in 3rd grade.</p>
<p>He is a junior so I know there is plenty to time. His school obviously has done a good job of helping kids with acceptances at very good schools. If he doesn't get accepted to a NE school, I won't have to drive so far.</p>
<p>I always believe in letting the kids make the choice, but an informed one.</p>
<p>Dh and I had a talk with S1 about the schools he was looking at. Bottom line: We can't afford them! If he wanted to go to school at a pricey LAC, he would have to do the work to get scholarships to get into those schools. We told him we'd pay for a state uni, but that that was all we could afford. Since then, he's been putting in plenty of study time for the PSAT and the Math II subject tests. He knows he has to put in a lot of work to make his dream happen.</p>
<p>So, my advice is to have a realistic conversation and let your son know that if he wants to get into these top-notch schools, it's up to him to make himself the most attractive candidate possible, and that includes ECs. I agree somewhat with your dh that quitting these two, long-time interests doesn't look great. But what's done is done, right? Is there any going back? I don't have any firsthand knowledge of those schools, but their websites must have stats that demonstrate the importance or non-importance of ECs. Show all that to your son and let him now that HE has to have a resume that makes him attractive to those colleges and that may include a strong EC</p>
<p>In terms of the IB requirements, volleyball will probably take care of "Action." But he's going to have to figure out things to do for Creativity and Service.</p>
<p>Some IB students do most of their CAS hours during the summer. My daughter did. Often, it is possible to find an interesting summer volunteer activity that not only satisfies the Service requirement but also provides Creativity or Action hours as well.</p>
<p>As to the vb comment, I interrupted my own train of thought when I wrote that in answer to the post about recruitment. He plays because he loves the sport and that is enough for me. He could continue swim team but he really hated it. Swimming really takes a lot of committment and I can't see putting in that much time for something that he really did not enjoy. We have discussed that he will have to do some other activity if he gives up swimming. He will probably help out the orchestra for the winter and spring concerts; last year the band director had to bring in outsiders to fill in on his instrument.</p>
<p>From what my DS heard last year from the colleges he applied to (west coast high academics), the admissions people are looking for the quality of the ECs not the quantity. In my son's example, he was passionate about baseball (30-40 hours a week), did an environmental activity that took about 200 hours over the course of 18 months and then an academic club that was 3-4 hours a month - and that was it. The admission people he spoke to indicated that they preferred that in depth participation to someone who did 20 things just a few hours a month each.</p>
<p>So if he wants to drop a few things - I'd encourage him to dive deeper into some of the things he already does (and loves).</p>
<p>^^ have to agree with scualumre re:quality vrs quantity of EC's. DS was accepted at Dartmouth with EC's involving his long time commitment to classical music, academic competitions since the 5th grade, and outside research during HS in a relatively obscure field [ seismology]. Didn't have any athletic interests besides hiking [ he's the classic geek] but I think his passion and accomplishments in non athletic activities set him apart from most students applying there.</p>
<p>Let's be realistic. On a 1-10 (10 is best) scale of importance for admissions, where do ECs stand? 1? 3? 4? Depends on the school, too. Compare this to academics (a 10), test scores (9-10), recs (9-10) and so forth.</p>
<p>I think there is a lot of misunderstanding about the role ECs play. It is not ECs for ECs sake. Rather, it is what the EC tells the adcom in addition to the other things in the package. That's why depth in a few ECs are more important: it tells the adcom more, be it passion, commitment, or maybe just fun...</p>
<p>I agree with Newmassdad. Leave the kid alone. Let him learn to play bass guitar if that is what he likes. It is highly unlikely that any of ECs are going to be of the sort that will make it a hook. The only suggestion I have is for him to do some community service and to get a job. Both activities are great for self development and he will have something to put in the spaces of his college apps that ask for that.</p>