Hi. So, this is my second night back on campus for my sophomore year. My school is about a 3 hour flight and a two day drive from my home. All of last year I was incredibly homesick. I love this school, and really wanted to go here - but I never wanted to leave my home state, or be out of driving distance of my family. I decided to sacrifice location for the right school, since the right school didn’t exist in the right location. I’m wondering if that was the wrong choice. Freshman year I would say I was homesick on a daily basis (I didn’t text my family every day, but I called home at least once every two days) and I broke down crying probably an average of once every week to two weeks. I also lost weight, which is significant for me as I was already very thin, dealt with a lot of depression and panic and had to see a new counselor and up my medication. The final quarter of the year I almost applied for medical leave to go home because I was just so miserable I was nearing suicidal.\
I don’t understand it because I LOVE my school, I have lots of friends, I go to clubs and I have a lot of fun - but I just miss my parents and home so much. This whole being an adult thing is really hard, and that sounds like whining so I rarely get to talk about it, but it’s just really difficult to be on my own. My parents make trips to visit every month to two months, but the entire time they’re there all I can think about is how they’re leaving in three days… two days… a few hours… etc. I was told that homesickness is normal and as time goes on it will go down. But tonight I have been crying non-stop for 3 hours, and no matter how much I try to breath deeply and calm down I just can’t. My parents leave in a day and I am absolutely terrified and heartbroken. I was told sophomore year is better but I don’t know if I can keep doing this.
At the same time, I don’t want to run back home and end up living with my family forever just because it is hard to leave them. I just don’t know why it isn’t getting any easier. No matter how much I try to adjust and cope I just don’t seem to be doing so.
Does anyone have any tips on homesickness, particularly the long term kind? This isn’t the “I’m homesick because it’s my second week of college” thing, I’ve been here for over a year and it’s only getting worse. Do you think I should transfer to a college back home? I’d probably try to get an apartment, and live near but not with my family.
Any help you guys have is appreciated - sorry for the long post, and for any typos, still can’t seem to stop crying.
Try to think if the things you like best about home - then make them happen on campus (I’d you like and miss some views, try to find similar views; if you like some foods, suggest the dish to the college kitchen or organize a home cooking festival in our dorm.)
Making college ‘home’ like will help whereas skyping home will only exacerbate the problem.
I actually think you are clinically depressed and might need to try a different medication. Meanwhile, this might be very hard to do, but I don’t think your parents are helping by coming to visit every month. Studies have shown that kids have a harder time adjusting when there is too much parental interaction and too many visits home. So, gently suggest that your parents not visit during the school year. Limit Skype conversations. Keep telling yourself why this is the best place for you. I suspect if yiu gave up and moved home, you will be just as, if not more, unhappy in the long run. Good luck to you.
Does your university have counseling or homesickness groups? Odds are you are not alone, and others will be there, too.
I have homesickness as well, and what I find helps out is spending time with my friends here, creating a home-away-from-home. It does suck, and sometimes I wish I were closer home, but being far away also helps me grow. Besides, they are still there in every part of the word, except physically. I write letters back and forth with my parents to have physical momentos of them here. No matter what though, no matter what you go through, they will be there.
@Avidspark , what a lovely post. 
Growing up and leaving home is very hard and it is not a discrete event, it is a process that takes time. The pain experienced in the process varies a lot too from person to person. What I hear in your post is someone who keeps telling him or herself that he/she shouldn’t be having these feelings, that you should be over them by now. Well, feelings are feelings and when you fight them and tell yourself you are wrong, sometimes they fight back and you feel even worse. Take some time to cry and accept in yourself that this is how you feel and that it is okay to feel the way that you do. It’s not really a matter or getting over missing your family. There may always be a part of you that misses your family no matter how old you get or how long you live outside of their home. It is a matter of learning to cope. Learning to cope takes time.
There is no magic amount of contact with your parents that is good or bad either. While it may be a rule of thumb to keep visits and contact to a minimum, and that may work for the majority of homesick college students, you and your family ultimately need to work out what improves coping for you (and for them too).
No matter what level of homesickness you are dealing with, do try to keep up with your studies, eat right, sleep and exercise. Keeping you academics solid and your health as good as possible will keep options open to you.
Lastly, do use the counseling services at your school. It is not a sign of weakness, but a sign that you know you need help and guidance for coping.
I’m somewhat new on CC; so I hope commenting on this thread is ok as a new member.
@Articfox I completely understand where you are coming from…my experience was nearly similar to yours.
What helped me is FaceTiming my parents every day. I don’t know what your schedule is like, but even 5-10 minutes of hearing their voice might help you.
I broke down more times than I would like to admit. It might seem weird to set a timer, but when you feel really down, just let the crying out completely…but stop yourself after a certain amount of time…otherwise it can easily last hours upon hours.
I hope you are well now and things have settled. I went home every weekend freshman year due to compelling circumstances, and when the bond is extremely tight, it is impossible to severe.
I feel like having the ability to communicate that love between you and your family through technology will help…even if they are not physically present, you can still make your family central to your life!!
Much love <3