<p>While trophy collecting isn’t is anyone’s best interest, I don’t think it’s up to anyone to tell a student that an EA admit is their first choice, thanks for playing you’re done. Many kids apply EA at a school that’s not their first choice, or it may be but until they get a full picture of merit and/or finaid it may not be doable. That’s the distinction between ED and EA. The colleges don’t make it binding so the GC has no business doing so. The students have every right to compile a list of schools to apply to to ensure in April they have a choice of acceptances where they will be academically happy and can afford. Their primary concern is not their classmates. Obviously, if they have no intention on attending Ivy #3 and applications are tight from your school the GC may say something to the student to identify the motivation. To make a blanket rule to protect other students is absurd.</p>
<p>I think it is ridiculous and I would tell my child to ignore that request.</p>
<p>I agree that it is dumb to post the SAT scores and financial aid status. I have actually had a few parents tell me that their child is a genius and did amazing on the SAT, and then the results were rather low. And financial aid status? Either you are saying “look at me, I am so rich that my child qualified for nothing” or you are saying “we are so broke my child qualified for a lot!” Both just are rather dumb. Do these people realize how dumb they look.</p>
<p>Then again…looking at everything else everyone posts on FB, it just fits in.</p>
<p>As several posters have noted, it seems perfectly fine to brag about a child’s athletic prowess and lord knows there is a steady stream of that on my Facebook feed – my kids included. It’s all good – I’m happy that friends’ children are successful. </p>
<p>All of this congratulating should include academics. When child X wins a scholarship or is accepted to dream university, these hallmarks should be celebrated too, without accusations of bragging.</p>
<p>Academics, athletics, and the ARTS should be celebrated!! Each area requires hard work, dedication, and determination. These kids (and their parents) should feel free to celebrate the success!</p>
<p>I think kids’ feelings are hurt a lot more when they see pictures of parties or group outings they weren’t invited to; relationship status changes for boys or girls they “like” and whom they thought liked them, too (but apparently not); flirty conversations between their boy/girlfriends and others at the school; pointed comments by others that they are convinced are about them, which then receive a dozen “likes” from others; their own funny posts or pictures that don’t collect “likes”; “friends” who “unfriend” them; potential “friends” who ignore friend requests; supposed friends who make crude comments, showing the friend to be a complete jerk and being perceived as reflecting poorly on them; extremely unflattering pictures of themselves that their supposed “friends” post; pictures posted at group events that they are not in, even though they were at the event; outright mean comments that are not even veiled; etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. I feel that high school has become a giant training ground for learning how to deal with hurt feelings from Facebook posts. Come on – a happy post about a college acceptance is not likely to be as hurtful as the other stuff that kids have to deal with every day.</p>
<p>@lmkh70" or you are saying “we are so broke my child qualified for a lot!” Both just are rather dumb. Do these people realize how dumb they look…</p>
<p>Maybe those of us who can’t even begin to pay for an Ivy league education for our child aren’t dumb, but EXTREMELY thankful for the generous financial aid that affords our child the opportunity to attend a top-tier school; we aren’t embarrassed to say so.</p>
<p>I believe it would be fine to share admissions results online, as long as it isn’t done so in an unbecoming or demeaning manner. This should be a personal decision made with some common sense and courtesy.</p>
<p>There will always be someone hurt by an admissions decision, whether it’s the local college or an Ivy league. When somebody at our high school was accepted to a top university, several people were jealous. But is it the kids fault that she was accepted and wanted to share the news with her friends (who sort of released it to the school)? Of course not.</p>
<p>Of course, you could go it my way and not share your admissions results until you decide on a college. Makes for more fun when rumors start about where you’re going. :)</p>
<p>Nottelling, very good point about the many ways social media can be hurtful. I’ve heard that some choose to close their FB accounts when it becomes too much. May not be such a bad idea.</p>
<p>Almost all of the kids’ applications were EA. They were all sent about the same time with not clear #1 at the time because a lot hinged on the merit awards. I wonder if they are confusing ED and sending out “trophy” apps after that, which technically you can’t do, but people do.</p>
<p>If the school is so concerned about turning postings on facebook into a moral lesson, they’ve got the wrong lesson. Instead of trying to teach “politeness” by insisting that others feel badly when they find out about your successes, so don’t tell them, how about teaching about the evils of envy? I don’t consider myself religious, but I have often wondered why our society has completely forgotten the “7 deadly sins.” Envy? If I tell you about my success by posting a fact, I’m the bad person, it’s my fault that you feel badly, ie, are envious? Ridiculous.</p>
<p>Our Senior Class Assistant Principal ASKED us to send him the schools they were accepted to, and he posts a CONGRATS to each kid (923 in the class, I might add) on the Class of 2013 Facebook page… I think it’s great and I love seeing where all the kids are going.</p>
<p>Nottelling,
Nice post. I totally agree with you!</p>
<p>Heck, it’s not just kids! I got so sick of the darn thing I pulled the plug for over a year only reactivating my account when S2 left for college and I wanted to be able to ‘see’ him. There was a single straw that broke the camel’s back…seeing posts about my father’s 70th birthday party on fb several states away from my cousins (local to him) who were planning it but didn’t bother to invite me. WTHeck?!? It was very liberating and I didn’t miss it a lick. When I reactivated it I learned to use the filters, both who sees what on my ‘friends list’, and what I have to see on a daily basis from them.</p>
<p>I guess that I have a pretty thick skin…but didn’t we leave all of these negative self obsessed feelings behind us when we left the middle school lunch room? (years and years ago)</p>
<p>If you don’t like what people say, do not “friend” them.</p>
<p>I can’t imagine why celebrating one’s accomplishments and posting them on fb should be something that should be discouraged from school…How about teaching your kids that it is possible to be happy for others , even if you didn’t have the same luck…I would be more concerned with the pics that some students post with beer cups in their hands at hot tub parties when they are high school age …matter for the parents to deal with though , not the school</p>
<p>So if I get engaged, and I work with a lot of women who have been waiting for their boyfriend to pop the question, should I not tell people? If I get pregnant and I know people who have been trying to conceive for a long time, should I keep it a secret?</p>
<p>“I can’t tell everyone that I got into CC University because Sally applied there and didn’t get in so it might hurt her feelings that I did and she didn’t!” Oh good grief! And all of this “well you can, but just say it in a nice way” crap…well shouldn’t that be a given? Didn’t we learn when we were in elementary school that running around saying “Nah nah, nah nah nah, I got candy and you didn’t get any!” isn’t nice? </p>
<p>Shielding kids from disappointment leads to some very spoiled adults. I should know…I have had thousands of patients over my 26 year nursing career and it is quite obvious which ones aren’t used to disappointment in their lives.</p>
<p>@glee4life: ha ha, that actually happened to me. When I was pregnant with my first, my sister-in-law had been trying to conceive for a couple of years. My other sister-in-law (her older sister) told me not to announce my pregnancy because she was worried about her sister’s reaction. I pointed out to her that it was going to be pretty hard to keep an addition to the family a secret. LOL.</p>