<p>I’ve seen tons of posts on FB recently, “Marsha’s going to be a <strong>insert regional state school mascot here</strong>!”. Honestly, I’m just as happy for Marsha as I am for the kid going to Rice. They both have an exciting new path in front of them.</p>
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<p>I think that it makes total sense that the school would tell students not to post it on Facebook. I also know that the school has no authority to demand students don’t, and should be freely ignored. I think if your son wants to post on Facebook his admissions, he should do it.</p>
<p>Kids’ school is a competitive private prep school. 20% of class applied REA to Stanford. (8% of class matriculated there in combo REA and RD.**) GCs give strict instructions:
“Parents- don’t talk about the college admissions process, you can find other things to talk about.”
“Kids- be sensitive (ie dont be like the UCLA story). Your safety is another kid’s dream reach school.”
Thus no one puts their college acceptances on FB and the kids won’t even change their school attending status on FB until the fall and they are worried that it’s still too gauche.
Kids are not allowed to trophy collect. If they got in EA at a lottery school that is basically their top choice, GCs don’t want them to send out other apps…it might take away spots from the other classmates. The list goes on and on. But if most kids are gunning for the lottery schools and some get in and some don’t, and the kids have similar stats or the process seems random, then at least kids won’t feel like they are getting their noses rubbed in it constantly.</p>
<p>I personally love to celebrate and congratulate these milestones, whether it be from University of Phoenix, state U, or Harvard,</p>
<p>**this is the kind of info that they wouldn’t want posted</p>
<p>** Good thing that the consensus on this thread is that this info would be just fine to post.</p>
<p>My daughter posted a picture of her first acceptance, because she was excited about it. Then it dawned on her that some people might be getting rejections, and that she might appear to be bragging. She’d rather die than cause someone to feel bad or to appear anything less than completely humble, so she didn’t post any more after that.</p>
<p>Of course, that didn’t stop grandma from posting gushing bulletins of cringe-worthy bragnitude and tagging my daughter in them… for which she got a firm scolding!</p>
<p>I actually enjoy seeing the kids’ acceptances on facebook (even the real braggy ones) because it’s fun to share in their excitement. And because, yeah, I’m just a little bit nosy! :)</p>
<p>Good point Mom2twins!</p>
<p>Some people’s brag posts are annoying especially if they tend to be braggy and annoying in the first place. My D got denied to her first choice ED school and one of the other kids who got in from her school posted his acceptance. My D was not effected negatively b/c he posted on FB - she was happy for him.</p>
<p>This whole thing reminds me of the Fun, Fair, Positive Sports league where no one keeps score so no one gets their feelings hurt. Ridiculous to me. Sports are and should be competitve - that’s what makes a duel interesting and exciting. There are winners and losers in the real world - deal with it!!!</p>
<p>I don’t see the issue, so long as it isn’t obnoxious. For example, “Duke University Class of 2017” is fine; “Guess what losers, I got into Duke and odds are that you didn’t because I’m a genius and you’re not” is not fine.</p>
<p>maidenMom–it’s probably programs like Fun, Fair, Positive Sports that created an atmosphere where kids can’t be happy for classmates because they have no experience with rejection and how to deal with it…great idea…not.</p>
<p>I’m against schools telling kids not to post acceptances. Facebook is about connecting - not just with classmates, but the rest of the world. Your kid just got into your alma mater, shouldn’t you be able to share that with your own classmates? Mine has friends (yes, real friends, who she met in person) from all over the world. Shouldn’t she be able to share her joy all over the world?</p>
<p>Maybe instead of asking them not to post, they should ask them to be tactful, and remind them that obnoxious posts can be hurtful. Maybe they forget that the early acceptances can also be helpful to the kids who are procrastinating, and to the Juniors who will go through this process next year. Even the “I got into ABC, and they only accept 7%” doesn’t have to be hurtful, if it’s followed by “I’m so thrilled” instead of “I’m so great!” Anyone else who is applying to such a school has to be aware they reject plenty of acceptable students. Perhaps the schools should work on letting students know the a rejection from such a school is not a statement about their individual worth.</p>
<p>I also disagree with the idea of asking a kid to stop applying to other schools with an EA admission. That only works for the kids with the money to afford any and all schools. Just because it’s their first choice doesn’t mean the parents can afford it.</p>
<p>Even posts like THERAPPA’s are none of the school’s business - if it’s really a problem, ask them to share those posts with the friends, but not make them public. Such posts are often meant as a joke, and are taken that way by the intended audience. My middle D (a freshman) calls her older sister (a senior) a loser every time she passes her in the hall. Both sets of friends know it’s a joke.</p>
<p>This generation has headed way too far down the “self-esteem” highway. Maybe they should even have grades - it might hurt someone to know they Suzie got an A, but they just barely passed the class. Everyone knows who the jerks are, and if they brag about getting into ABC and how much better they are than everyone else, maybe you don’t really want to be on the same campus anyway. And won’t it by fun watching them struggle next year when they’re clearly not better than everyone else.</p>
<p>I bet the same schools have a Valedictorian, even through that might hurt the feeling of students #2,3 and 4 (particularly if they "penalize #2 for taking an extra un-weighted class). I bet they publicly congratulate teams that do well - at the risk of hurting the feelings of not just teams at other high schools, but their own teams that have less stellar records.</p>
<p>I have no problem with posting colleges acceptances in a tactful way. How is this any different than any other achievement that we celebrate? In my kids’ high school, there was a huge athletic award ceremony at the end of every year–this was in addition to the normal senior awards night. Even at the senior awards night, there were additional athletic awards given out. And the school always made a big deal about students who were signed by colleges for athletics. So if we can make such a fuss about athletic accomplishments, then we should be able to honor academic accomplishments, like getting into a top college, as well. And just like the kid who doesn’t get an athletic award has to get over it, so does the kid who didn’t get into his or her favorite school. It’s part of life.</p>
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<p>Honestly, how other people feel is not something Sally305 can control. We can control our own feelings but we cannot control how others react to them.</p>
<p>Let the truth ring but no gloating! Let others be happy for you! If they’re not you then understand what kind of people they are! If you’re not happy for others than you too are one of them!
The one poster who stated that GC make sure students do not send out other applications and discourage trophy collecting is right on! I do totally agree with this policy because only harm ( not help or gain except for an ego boast) can come from such narcissistic behavior!</p>
<p>If the school decides not to publicly post everyone’s acceptances, that is their decision. But it is ridiculous for a school to try to stop students from posting on facebook.</p>
<p>Disagree, Nouve. Ds got into his EA school, but we have no idea how the FA will look so he needs to keep his options open.</p>
<p>If you have felt inclined to friend people who are not your close friends, and would like to post things to certain groups, there are features that easily allow you to do this. Mark people as ‘acquaintances’ or ‘close friends’. Then when posting status updates you can designate if all your friends see it, only close friends, restrict acquaintances, etc. it’s very simple. Your kids do it all the time to filter what adults see. ;)</p>
<p>Regarding posting acceptances, I’ve seen it all. If you don’t like how people interact on fb take them off your newsfeed (I did it during the election). It’s their page…they get to say what they want. If its upsetting to anyone it’s up to you to ‘turn the channel’. The ‘nanny state’ is so overwhelming does it really need to invade fb when we are fully in control of blocking or deleting obnoxious blowhards on our own? Seems peer review is a better answer then censorship, but that’s just me. </p>
<p>Our hs has a day where all of the kids who graduate Summa Cum Laude wear a Tshirt/sweatshirt from their chosen school one day in May and have a progressional group picture taken. It gets printed in the paper and hung in guidance I believe. I guess we have no manners or feelings whatsoever. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>Blueiguana, I completely agree with what you said about Facebook filters . if you don’t like what someone has posted , you certainly don’t have to look at it .</p>
<p>I think the counseling office was out of line in issuing this edict. Now, it would be interesting to know whether it has a legal leg to stand on in doing so. </p>
<p>College acceptances and other achievements present a great learning opportunity for how to handle your own success, and others’, graciously. It would be nice if 18 year-olds had already mastered this skill, but many haven’t. Nor have many parents. Some will be considerate of the feelings of others, not because they’re forced to be, but because they choose to be. Some will trumpet every acceptance, grade, scholarship, and gold star from every available rooftop. </p>
<p>I think there’s a nice wide area that most of us can fit into where we share good news with people who want us to succeed, and congratulate others for the good news that comes their way. There is such a thing as being obnoxious about success, and it’s only partly in the eye of the beholder. But should someone tell us we aren’t allowed to brag? No. I’m appreciative of the folks who choose not to, though.</p>
<p>It sounds like a huge missed opportunity at a teaching moment – useful for every Senior and underclassman at the HS. Of course the administration is foolish to think they can ban FB posts. But if someone had considered how to teach, even humorously, the unintended after effects of some egregious posts, it could rally the consensus of what’s acceptable or not among the students themselves. Rally the students and they’ll police themeselves.</p>
<p>Think of how the open discussion about bullying has changed many school cultures.</p>
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My son did so well in EA that I <strong>jokingly</strong> asked him to collect a trophy for my husband’s late spring birthday. But to actually do that would be unbelievably selfish. His EA lottery school was definitely not his first choice, though it was probably the first choice of many kids who are at his current school now.</p>