<p>OK - so the system is just unfair all around. Got it. The core problem is that college costs are just astronomically way too high. And the economy stinks - so there are no jobs for the kids who come out with their degree anyway.</p>
<p>Unfair all around? maybe, maybe not.</p>
<p>Colleges are right to think that families are “first in line” to pay for college. Why wouldn’t they think that? </p>
<p>Keep in mind that “going away to college” is a luxury. It’s not necessary in most cases. </p>
<p>If you were still single, you’d be paying all rent, utilities, groceries, etc. Right now, you’re splitting those costs (and your H may be paying for more than 50%). Figure out how much more you’d be paying if you were still single, and put that towards college. </p>
<p>Also, encourage your child to look for affordable choices…schools that offer merit scholarships for his GPA and test scores.</p>
<p>Also, since most schools do NOT meet need, even if only your income were used, your child might still not receive enough aid.</p>
<p>My question is this;
let’s say that only your income were to be used to fill out the FAFSA.</p>
<p>Would your EFC alone net you enough aid to pay the full cost to attend the NJ state university system?</p>
<p>Would you then be eligible for full pell ($5500)
You kids would have $5500 in loans (which they are still entitled to.
How much state aid would they be eligible for?</p>
<p>How would you fill the gap, if you had no other money but your own to depend on? This is the question that many single parents grapple with every day.</p>
<p>No, the system is not perfect and there are many things that are considered “unfair” especially when it comes to families of divorce/separation. However, keep in mind, even with the "unfairness’ of your situation, you are in a better position than a lot of other families.</p>
<p>Lets suppose you were a single parent with a “0” EFC. Your child gets full pell, full state aid FWS and loans. Your ex then claims the children as dependents on his taxes, gets a tax break and is not held accountable for contributing to the college education for his children. As a result, the great financial aid that your children are being given is being supplied by others.</p>
<p>Do you think that answer is that the FAFSA be filled out by both custodial and non-custodial parents? IF yes, what happens with children who don’t know who their non-custodial parent is or has never had any contact with that parent?</p>
<p>there are more questions than there are satisfactory answers.</p>
<p>The bottom line is that no federal aide, just as other forms of welfare, should go to people who can get the money together in any way, shape or form on their own. It should be the funding of last resort. It is not fair that people figure out ways to get around that.</p>
<p>I see what you’re saying. It’s hard not to compare your financial situation to others during the college search. I have a good friend whose hubby was out of work for the past 2 years. He just found a job. They are getting tons of aid. I think they even qualify for Pell. Yet they have a gorgeous house, much nicer than ours, drive very nice cars and have lots of money in the bank. And now he’s making tons of money again. I have to tell myself I am LUCKY my husband wasn’t unemployed for 2 years. I’d rather pay more for for son’s education than go through that.</p>
<p>Good luck to you in the FA and college search process! Your kids are lucky to have a great stepdad in their lives!</p>
<p>* Also, my husband has put 4 children through college - and is helping them with their loans*</p>
<p>If so, then perhaps he’s able to afford to do this since your income helps support the family. It goes both ways. Your income enables HIM to have more disposable income to help HIS kids. Now, it’s time for your income to help YOUR kid because HIS income helps you.</p>
<p>BTW…that person that you mentioned whose kid gets “full aid”. That’s not likely federal aid rec’d from filling out FAFSA.</p>
<p>For the record I just want to say that I understand what the OP is saying, and regardless of what others have stipulated, it is unfair. I am not divorced, but happily married for over 20 years, so I’m not sympathizing with her because I have been there too, but because I feel her frustration and I don’t agree that the new husband should have to take on the responsiblity of the step child. I agree understand that fafsa wants to handle things simply but its not realistic, even if thats how its handled. The bio dad should be responsible for the college education. If he is unemployed or underemployed that it should be his salary that fafsa goes by. I understand that by living with the non-bio parent, the step child is living a better life, but that still doesn’t mean that the non-bio dad should take on all responsiblities and the bio dad can walk. Then you wonder why their are dead beat dads out there. This system enables that behavior. </p>
<p>I agree that fafsa should be based on the two bio parents. I have a relative who is a single parent. The bio dad is a doctor who makes very good money. The mom also does well (like 6 figures). The dad does make atleast double what the mom does and because she isn’t married she doesn’t pay a penny. Between the two parents, they are good for 450K, yet the kid was given 18K in finaid because they only looked at her salary, not his, since she is single head of household. Consequently, the mom doesn’t pay anything, just the bio dad. Not sure how any of that is fair either. First off, they shouldn’t be eligible for finaid at all and both parents should be responsible for the eduation. Just because one makes double doesn’t mean that he should pay the whole thing. Its should be proportionate. So again, I agree with the OP this is a mess and one that should be rectified!!!</p>
<p>If step-parents weren’t counted and if you hadn’t been fortunate to find someone to love and marry and were only living on your income, you would look at the person next door with a 2nd husband/wife helping to support the family and asking why they got as much aid as you.</p>
<p>The answer to your gripe isn’t to stop counting step-parent finances, but to count both incomes of non-married adults in the same household. This wouldn’t leave you any better off and would be difficult to enforce as those people are not intertwined via taxes. And as mentioned by others, there are legal rights and financial benefits outside of FA that those people are not getting.</p>
<p>Njmissy13:</p>
<p>The economy “stinks” and there are “no” jobs for college grads?</p>
<p>Funny, my DS graduated in May. He has a great job in his field. His friends that majored in marketable majors and got good grades all have jobs in their fields. </p>
<p>You seem to think the sky is falling and everything is unfair. It isn’t. Unless you want it to be…</p>
<p>While I understand what most posters here are saying, I agree with a minority here that it should not be step-parents’ responsibility to pay for college for step-children.</p>
<p>The number one reason is that step parents have no rights with regards to step-children. To saddle them with responsibility with no rights is wrong in my opinion. Especially considering how expensive college is. It is not apples to oranges to compare food and clothing to college costs.</p>
<p>Bio parents should be responsible.</p>
<p>Iron Maiden, I think she is just looking for a little sympathy. Cut her some slack. You’re always so quick to reply with a ‘nip’. She stated she was venting and I get it, as do most on this thread who are trying to lend some sound financial advice. Can you be nice…</p>
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<p>In theory this would be great but then you get into the whole thing about kids not being able to locate or get info from the non-custodial parent, having to get NCP waivers and all that baggage that we read threads about here on CC with the profile. Considering that federal aid is small, where as instituitional aid can be very large, it doesn’t seem worth the added complexity. </p>
<p>This is like the guilty/innocent debate, how many guilty should go free so that an innocent person isn’t wrongly convicted. How many of the small federal aid grants and loans can we get to those low income families who really need it, simply and effectively, while knowing some who don’t need it will get it.</p>
<p>Lerkin you said it best!!!
and Annoyingdad you certainly are right. Its just frustrating and the bottomline is that nothing is perfect.</p>
<p>Should it be anyone’s responsibility (bio- or step-parents’) other than the student’s to pay for college?</p>
<p>^^</p>
<p>If only student’s incomes were counted the whole FA system would fall apart since the children of wealthy parents would have 0 EFCs as well as the truly poor.</p>
<p>I understand what the OP is saying fully.But…“them’s the rules” . A lot of unfairness in them. You know, the point being made is that if the OP and Stepdad did NOT get married, his income would not be counted at all but that they are being “punished” by the college financial aid system (and the tax system with the marriage penalty) for doing the “right” thing and getting married rather than not. Well, want to hear something crazier? If any of us were NOT married, the same would occur. If I weren’t married to my husband, the fact that he is the father of my kids, still doesn’t count on FAFSA, you realize? Though if you are living totally off someone, even if you are not married, there may be some interest as to what you are living on, and the fact that someone is paying for your room, groceries and other moneis might need to go on that FAFSA anyways as support. But that your husband is the step, doesn’t enter into the picture. If I were “living in sin” all of these years with the bio dad of my kids, he’d get some pass on the FAFSA. </p>
<p>Bio parents are held responsible on PROFILE which where the big bucks come into play. What one gets from most FAFSA only school is not a whole lot anywas. I don’t see a PELL award when you are living upper middile class, married or not, if it is clear you are getting support from somewhere or someone.</p>
<p>There are many things ‘wrong’ with FAFSA, like current income counts more than assets and there is no accounting for untraceable assets like gold coins, jewelry, etc. Under FAFSA, all kids of stay at home moms would be better off for FAFSA purposes if the parents were unmarried. The FAFSA could be corrected to count household income whether married or not.</p>
<p>Not just stay at home moms. Actually stay at home non working moms will have to come up with some explanation of what is supporting them and some division of famly assets have to be made, whereas a working mom, can claim her income alone as what is supportingher and leave out the dad if they happen to be unmarried. I know some long term relationships where the parents did not marry. One such couple finally tied the knot recently when she had major surgery. Apparently there are issues when one is in an non married SO relationship. But both worked and the case could be made that the kid spent more time with the mom than the dad very easily, and his income excluded for FAFSA purposes. (not that it mattered in this case as both earned enough where it made no difference)</p>
<p>PROFILE hits 'em all up. Mom, Dad, both steps and all of the kids, including steps. Heh, heh.</p>
<p>If a stay at home mom is living with the bio dad, then HIS income would be used…not the mom’s. The parent who earns the most would be used.</p>
<p>Bio dad can have another residence as well, with grandmom or elsewhere. I’ve seen it done, and it is all above board. What counts is the support a person is getting from another. If you live in pricey neighborhoood and all indications are that you are livng an upper middleclass life and there is a zero EFC, the question is going to come up as to what you are living on. Regardless of whether it is grandma or live in SO if there is monetary support there, it is going to be used. But if Mom has her own job, and files her own taxes as a single parent which she is, if she is not married to dad, that falls under the radar.</p>