Hello everyone this is my first post on the website and I just wanted to talk about my story event and cope with the most likely inevitable future to come my way.
I am becoming a senior year biomedical Engineering Student That has felt like he has been in the wrong major for at least a year and a half and when I confronted my parents and other affiliated family members about the issue about this issue my parents were very quick to shut down how I really felt and belittle the alternatives that I wanted to pursue such as psychology. I don’t know what to do at this point as I have finished my Junior year at University and I am almost certain that I failed to out of the three classes I was taking and I am already on probation. The school that I go to is very far from my home and it is very likely that I will be taken out of the school because of how poor I am doing and I believe that my performance this past semester can attest to my drive within the major. Unfortunately for me I am in love with the school And the communities that I have become a part of As well as the girlfriend that I am going to propose to in the near future. I am uncertain if she will want to commit to the future college dropouts and I am obviously going to miss the communities that I’ve been a part of. How can I convince my parents and the probation board in any way for me to be able to stay for the coming semesters. I feel that I have built so much and for it to be all thrown away is going to break me. My parents have never been one for believing in different psychological Conditions or disorders but I am almost certain that my major gaming addiction is something that is masking up more than my love for video games and horrible sleep schedule.
At this point I am preaching to the choir as my parents will see my grades very soon. I know that I should be entirely honest with my parents about everything but they don’t truly listen to me very often and I know that I probably am going to have to just suck it up and go to community college and break up all of my connections that I have formed over the last three or so years. I’m just trying to find a way to stay a little longer so I can keep trying To improve and maybe graduate. My major makes it extremely easy to be with old out if you are not enjoying what you were learning and clearly my performance reflects that.
If you failed two of three classes you are taking…and you are lready ON probation…the school might ask you to take time off. Or ask you to leave.
Are you getting financial aid? If you haven’t met satisfactory academic progress, you won’t be getting any aid either.
If it were me, I would BEG the school to give you a leave of absence. Take the time to get your act together with the intention of graduating…if they allow you to return.
Really, are you expecting your parents to continue to support you as you waste their money failing courses?
If you truly do have a gaming addiction, you need to address that first. Changing majors isn’t going to improve anything if you’re still not putting the time into your studies. For that matter, are you sure you can change majors? Many schools have GPA requirements for each major and you may not meet the psych requirement. Changing schools may be in your ultimate best interest since it’s easy to fall into old habits in familiar settings. Distance yourself from people who enable/encourage your addiction. You may not like it, but life is not without consequences. If you do go back, find someone to help keep you accountable and don’t take your gaming equipment back with you.
Are there any jobs to be had in the community where your university is that would pay you enough to live on? If so, you could just stay put there. You could work for a while, enjoy the aspects of the community that you do enjoy, and get your act back together before re-enrolling there (or elsewhere) with a different major.
@happymomof1 is that something parents deem viable alternative? I was thinking to apply to a nearby school with relevant classes for transfer credit maybe, but your idea could work…
If you were my kid and had dug yourself into this kind of hole, I would be impressed if, at the point of crisis that you are currently in, you developed a well articulated plan for how you planned to dig yourself out of this hole. If you do some legwork and write up a proposal with real strong plans to stick to it, then perhaps they will hear you. You need to learn what your resources are, what the rules are, so it’s going to take some investigating on your part.
Gaming addiction--what are the resources for overcoming this. Campus counseling, private counseling, twelve step program?
Probation status--can your enrollment be salvaged? What needs to happen? If not, can you enroll somewhere nearby?
Career goal/major change--what are the requirements? How are you going to get there?
Financing your education and life--how are you going to do this without your parents money?
There’s probably more, but this is just a starting point for organizing thoughts.
Generally, students who are struggling academically who want to stay in school make changes to improve their grades. It’s those actions, and the results, that convince parents and probation boards to allow students to continue studying. You listed several reasons for failing – disinterest in your major, gaming addiction, lack of drive, horrible sleep schedule – but nothing to indicate steps you took to improve your grades. Did you attend your professors’ office hours? Have you taken advantage of tutoring sessions? Did you pursue counseling at your school? If you can make a list of steps you took, it may convince your parents to let you try again. In order to convince your university, you may have to take classes at a cc for a year to show you’re capable of the work.
Having a girlfriend is no reason for parents to shell out hefty tuition money at a particular school. If your girlfriend will dump you because you’re struggling, maybe she’s not right for you. But maybe you should talk to her to see how she feels instead of guessing. Personally, if she was my daughter, it wouldn’t be the academic stuggles that I’d find concerning. It would be the gaming addiction. Find a way to kick it.
You could consider seeing a psychiatrist or therapist, and getting your addiction documented. Believe it or not, those who are recovering from addictions like alcohol or drugs are protected by the Americans with Disabilities Act and are entitled to accommodations.
It is possible- I have no idea- that you could get a medical withdrawal that could wipe out your grades or avoid three W’s, but even if that is not possible, perhaps you could withdraw and take W’s instead of F’s. I don’t know if a gaming addiction can easily get a medical withdrawal but I do know that other addictions can.
Have you met with anyone at the college?
If you are almost a senior, your community was going to break up in a year anyway. Hate to say it. But you could stay there in an apartment, as suggested, work for a year and still see the people you feel close to.
Do you think you should change majors? If you are interested in psychology, you can still enter some colleges with 90 credits, and do ten classes in psychology, and graduate with a degree in that. There are many online programs and you could do this one or two classes at a time. Look, for example, at Lesley University’s adult learner program (BA completion), or UMass Lowell online. There are many others throughout the country.
Are you an international student? Your writing style seems idiosyncratic. How do you feel about a major that requires writing a lot of long papers?
I think you absolutely need to be out of school to deal with your gaming addiction. First step would be to see a professional- psychiatrist or counselor- and get some support. They could perhaps help you in dealing with the school, if only by documenting the problem. Then meet with a dean and try to withdraw from your failing classes, and see if you can get a medical withdrawal that rescues your transcript.
Back in my day, the stone ages, if you had two academic probations, the school asked you take courses at a community college, meet a minimum GPA, and then you could be re-instated. I agree with the other posters to get professional help for the gaming addiction. It wont go away by itself!
The problem is, all your motivators (the community, the girl friend, the school) were there this semester and the semester before but were clearly not enough to keep you focused on doing well and staying. Just going at it again will do nothing for you. You will need to overcome what is holding you back and make actual changes to fix the problem. Time off is probably the right course of action. Spend some time in the real world. Get a job. Get help with them gaming issue. Get yourself healthy and then return.
@xBot14 - If my kid had the problems with motivation and grades that you describe, they would be out of college for at least a year. I see no reason whatsoever to shell out one cent in college costs if the student doesn’t have a specific goal, and is not showing progress toward that goal.