<p>I was on academic probation for my first semester and this second semester did not turn out so good. </p>
<p>Background:
I was a straight A student through elementary until I started my freshman year in high school. I made all A's one year, my junior year. I was very happy that year, life was treating me well. But then senior year came and I ended up making B's and C's and 1 A. It was devastating. My mother kept telling me how stupid I had become and it wasn't helping me at all. I felt like a failure and wanted to take a break from school. But I was threatened to get kicked out of the house if I didn't start college. </p>
<p>I was told by a friend that I had signs of depression. I still don't believe that because I never went to a professional about it yet.</p>
<p>During my first semester I had a goal to make straight A's and get a 4.0 GPA. In my mind it was doable I was all pumped up into starting my first semester of college. But I didn't do so well. That 4.0 I had going for ended up with me getting a 1.5 gpa. My mother still doesn't know and this is the end of my 1st year. My advisor had said that I was in academic probation that first semester. And this second semester I don't believe that I will be making any better. I have skipped classes just to sleep all day because I wasn't feeling well emotionally. And on top of that my mom thought that since I have a more flexible schedule that I could home school my brother and my step dad could take care of him while I am gone.</p>
<p>I am afraid, and hurt, and I feel like ending my life but I know that I can't because it's a sin to commit suicide. Plus I keep reminding myself that its not the end of the world but it basically is for me. My hopes of becoming a doctor died a long time ago. My dreams of becoming a nurse is going away. I feel so pressured from family members. I talked to my uncle who doesn't live in the states and told him that I was interested in computers and he just kept going on with " yeah. but if you become a doctor you can help people in Ghana" No one cares about what I want or need. I feel so alone in this. What can I do? </p>
<p>I want to take a break from college and try to get my mind at ease but I know that once I tell my mother this she is going to kick me out. I will talk to my advisor but I hate bad news. Is it over for me? Should I just give up in school and run away from home? I mean that's what I feel like doing. Disappointing my entire family isn't something I want to live with.</p>