<p>We got the form for ZG's family day and had been planning to attend. However, when I saw the itinerary I was less sure. The events are a seminar about the life of a college professor, another seminar about study abroad, lunch, an optional campus tour and optional football game and then a jazz dinner. We are a family of five, so it gets to be expensive, but more than that we have a 8-year old boy and another teenager. They'd rather have root canal than attend those seminars and, frankly, they don't interest me at all. None of this sounds like any fun at all. Are most family days like this? Do you think it might be possible to just take our daughter out to dinner and do something fun together?</p>
<p>Sure, you don't have to participate in all of the family day activities if you don't want to. You can just use it as a time to see your D and perhaps take her out along with some of her friends whose parents couldn't visit. Except for the jazz dinner, the itinerary sounds dull to me, too. It surprises me that the college wasn't more creative.</p>
<p>The jazz dinner is $15 per person and I think my son would be (politely, I say) disruptive in that event. In my ignorance, I had created the idea that this would be fun and games.</p>
<p>Your post made me look up the family weekend activities at S's college. The total cost is $40 per family.</p>
<p>It includes an ice cream social, a family picnic by the pool, 2 chances to see the women's volleyball team (In general, I hate watching sports, but this sounds like fun to me), a continental breakfast outside accompanied by a jazz duo, a worship service (college is nondenominational), a workshop in which one hears about summer experiences of students at the college who did research with professors there; a workshop in which one hears about a professor's research on Muslim women, an interactive workshop that "will introduce you to techniques writers use to probe those key moments and bring them to life in dramatic scenes that place the reader in the middle of the action. Bring a favorite photo; you’ll be inspired to translate your experience into an engaging story," an opportunity to attend a class, meet one on one with various deans or your student's faculty advisor, and a choice of interactive workshops about parents' role in students' higher education.</p>
<p>Clear there's lots to pick and choose from including activities that would be fun for younger members of the family. The college is right outside Orlando, so there also would be plenty of off campus things for families to do with their kids.</p>
<p>I'd be ticked if S's college offered the type of family options that yours has. I don't think that parents care about the day of a college professor. I wonder who planned that event because the person seems very uncreative and out of touch with what parents and families would care about.</p>
<p>Zoosermom-</p>
<p>Is this event later in the fall? Feel free to PM if you wish.</p>
<p>~mafool</p>
<p>Mafool, it's very early in September. We'll barely have a chance to miss her yet! I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but I work all week and this sounds awful to me.</p>
<p>September? I agree with you that that's too early. I don't understand why your D's college isn't putting more thought into an event that means so much to families.</p>
<p>We never went to a Parents Weekend after frosh year. It was much easier and nicer to pick out an alternate weekend when and interesting campus event was scheduled. The campus was less crowded and rooms in nearby hotels much easier to book.</p>
<p>We skipped the 'family day' at our D's college. I didn't see anything that worthwhile on the itinerary and some of the items were redundant (college tour for example - already did that). We went up and saw our D either the week before or week after when it was much less crowded, fed her off-campus (they usually appreciate this), and did a couple of other things.</p>
<p>My parents came up for family weekend at my school. It was actually during my 18th birthday. :) No one did any of the scheduled activities, and I don't think we paid anything. We went through a check in process at one point to get some free stuff. I think there were campus tours and some other stuff going on around campus, but instead I showed my mother around campus--my father is an alum--and we went out to dinner, did a little shopping for stuff I needed, and things like that.</p>
<p>We went to family weekend at Rice D's freshman year and never went again. We found it better to visit on non-family weekends, like when she had a performance or something. Most of the activities that were planned didn't interest us particularly, and unlike at boarding schools, the parents didn't seem eager to make friends with each other! We wouldn't even attempt family weekend at WildChild's school- visiting the place is enough of a hassle without extra parents around!</p>
<p>zoosermom if it makes you feel any better, after a long thought I flew back the 3000 miles for family weekend (mind you only 6 weeks after I'd gone to move D into her new school). None of the events on the list appealed to me, but D really wanted me to come, so I did.</p>
<p>The first morning I arrived and the first words out of her mouth were "take me out of here!" She was ready for a break from her ultra-rural environment. She asked if she could stay in the hotel with me. The first day we just did some local scouting around. By the next morning I knew she was in need of a scenery change so we drove 90 miles to Vermont and into a cool little artist village. We ate lunch, hung out, chatted. Meandered back towards the hotel and found the movie The U.S. vs. John Lennon playing at an art theater, so we went. Afterwards we went for ice cream, and back to the hotel where we watched TV shows on her laptop. In the morning I needed to head back towards campus (about 10 miles away) as my flight was leaving in late afternoon. We had a leisurely lunch and an anxious ride back to campus. She was not ready to go back to the ultra-rural environment. I assured her winter break would come soon, and reluctantly we parted. </p>
<p>I'm glad I went, for one reason only, she needed me to be there. She had been stoic up until then. It was over winter break she started the exploration of transfering. If I had not seen for myself what she was living with (without?) I may not have been as willing to explore that option with her. </p>
<p>If you can afford it, go. It need not be the whole family if that helps. Maybe this could be a good time for just you and zoosergirl to just hang out. It is a shame that schools schedule it so close to move in. Clearly they've not thought it through.</p>
<p>Count my family as skipping family weekend and visiting S when convenient for us and his activities. So far the family has been able to visit when S is performing w/marching band at D3 football game, watch band march in homecoming parade, and attend a symphonic band performance at a concert hall. All activities preferable to us, plus local accommodations easily available, as well as campus parking, etc.</p>
<p>No family weekend here!</p>
<p>We enjoyed going on any weekend when one of our kids was performing in a show. We missed many but still got to see 2-3 each year, but we were only 4 hours drive away. Family Weekend was nice because the choir, orchestra and so on all geared up and did great concerts for that weekend. There was a big sports homecoming but we're not sports people so just skipped it. </p>
<p>If your kid isn't in the arts you still might have a much better time on a big perfromance weekend, rather than Family Weekend. You can look up on the college calendar for when a college troupe, orchestra, or play is staged and consider going then. You'll see a taste of the campus if you attend it with your D in the audience. I enjoyed watching the other students in the audience most of all, and got a feel for the joy of the community.</p>
<p>We stayed at a motel without difficulty and could always attract our kid off-campus with a meal away from dorm food. We also invited them to bring a friend or two (we treated) so we could get that interaction for one (not all) meals. That got expensive but we kept it to brunch, not dinner. </p>
<p>In sophomore year in Fall during family weekend, once S knew his way around better, I asked if I could bring a Friday night dinner to enjoy with some invited friends and their parents. We emailed ahead and did a big potluck using the college dormitory kitchen there, pulling up coffee tables and so on. That was fun. He had a real circle if friends by sophomore year, so knew whom to invite. It ended up being 5 kids and 3 sets of parents including us and the younger sibs. </p>
<p>So Family Weekend has its fun but you don't have to cling to it, either.</p>
<p>Both S and D enjoyed the sight of the car on campus, and had many backed-up errands each time, although this certainly lessened by junior year.</p>
<p>Count us among those who decided that another weekend was better than the official Parent's weekend. All of our kids went to (at least started at ) schools with limited or expensive hotel choices that went up to astronomical rates for Parent's weekend. ALthough the activities sounded cheaper and more interesting than your list, they still weren't what we wanted to do after making the trip. H went to one of D1's weekends (since I had taken her to move-in the month before I stayed home with the younger one). He found it interesting, but didn't see much of her!
Better to go on an "off" weekend and make your own schedule. Kids can find interesting campus activities/concerts/talks to take in. Rooms are cheaper, room-mates are eager to go out to dinner with whoever is paying.<br>
Now, reading about how lonely some of your kids got - do I schedule a visit to D2? We don't have housing set up for parents weekend, so at this point we'd be 2 hours away. Maybe I need to think through time to visit.</p>
<p>I also feel that the family weekend events are not my thing, for a number of reasons. I am very, very glad that last year, rather than the family weekend, I opted to fly out for a 3-day weekend during spring semester to visit my daughter. I let my daughter pick the time - and in addition to a nice weekend visit, I got to attend a class with my daughter and also tag along with her when she went to pick up some materials from one of her profs - so I ended up chatting with 2 of her profs. I doubt that would have been so easy with a whole crowd of parents around -- and I also felt I got a much more real sense of my daughter's college life by visiting on "ordinary" weekend.</p>
<p>So I really don't think parents should feel obligated to go. And don't feel guilty -- you can send several really nice, thoughtful care packages for a lot less than the expense of travel & a hotel room.</p>
<p>I'm sure that some parents have a great time with family weekends, so of course they should go -- but I've never really enjoyed most organized parents' activities at my kids' schools -- I went to all those potlucks & parent nights out of a sense of obligation. So I was quite happy when the kids were in college and I could return to my more reclusive ways.</p>
<p>Last year we did a few of the family weekend events, but mostly s wanted us to take him out for meals and stay at the hotel. So, this year we are planning a 4 day weekend at a beach resort near where s goes to school and fully expect that he will want to stay with us for a day or two and have dinner with us each night (he goes to school in FL). When he can't be with us due to classes or social engagements we will have a mini vacation. :)</p>
<p>We have never attended Family weekend. H has a really heavy work schedule in the fall so it's not possible. S has never minded. He is at a large public u. so I'm sure lots of parents don't come. We wouldn't be into doing all those planned activities either. S's school is only a few hours from home so it's not a huge deal for us to see him that one weekend.</p>
<br>
<blockquote> <p>None of this sounds like any fun at all. Are most family days like this? Do you think it might be possible to just take our daughter out to dinner and do something fun together?<<</p> </blockquote>
<br>
<p>I think the answer depends on how good a show the school puts on combined with what or how much parental (non)attendance would mean to the student.</p>
<p>I attended both Freshman Parents' Weekend and Junior Parents' Weekend (Sophs and Seniors don't get a weekend) and enjoyed them both a lot. I especially liked the student a capella groups and orchestra performances and the special academic lectures and demos by profs. The on-campus museums were great too. The seminars and advice panel discussions put on by the Administration were less compelling. Also D was glad to have us there, and she and her roommates seemed to feeling sorry for and commiserated with kids whose parents did not attend.</p>
<p>Zoosermom-</p>
<p>I suggest you go the forum for your daughter's school and ask about family weekend. </p>
<p>H and I attended Parents' weekend last year, with the thought that freshman year would be the only year we did. We found out a few things:
-Most of the activities at S's school that weekend would hold little interest for sibs
-Few of the activities held much interest for H and me, though S wanted to attend a couple of them
-Just about every freshman's parents were there (we took with us to meals the one friend whose father couldn't make it)
-S was glad we were there.
-This apparently continues to be a big deal in later years.</p>
<p>Now, this may well not be the case for you D's school, but it may be good to find out. </p>
<p>~Mafool</p>