Family Emergency Protocol at BS

I’m sorry to be making so many threads. Today I found out that a close family member has advanced cancer. I want to be able to spend time with them during the school year. They’re only a couple hours away. Is that possible? Thanks. I’m not looking for sympathy I just really need an answer.

I really want to spend as much time with them as possible. This has probably been one of the worst days of my life so please don’t be rude. Thank you.

Yes, you can go on weekends assuming you don’t have commitments such as classes, athletics, etc as well as any school breaks. Time will be limited, however. I also think if it becomes a regular thing, it might become an issue. You will need to manage your time well and bring school work with you, most likely. Honestly, however, the commitments of boarding school are large.

Does the school you’ll be attending have Saturday classes?

Sorry to hear about your family member.

This differs from school to school. Your best bet would be to find out when it would be the best times for you to visit (i.e., Sunday afternoons) and then to visit the Dean of Students to see what is possible within the rules. You may also be well served by coordinating with the family member about your breaks. If you plan extended visits then, he/she might coordinate treatment schedules to be at his/her best when you come. (My dad always scheduled his transfusions for right before we came so his energy would be at its best.) You would also be providing something for them to look forward to.

I am sorry for your situation. If this is a new diagnosis, take a breath. There will be good patches and not so good patches. There is a reason, though, they call it “living with cancer”. And while you may not be seeing it as a silver lining, this cloud is giving you the gift of being aware of how valuable this person is to you and the opportunity to treat your time together as sacred rather than as a given. Hang in there.

I am so sorry, @applejuice007.

When you can’t make it home for a visit try FaceTime. We did this with an iPad when a family member became very ill. All the kids ( away at BS / College ) arranged calling times with their parents and it worked out well. It’s not the same as being there ( of course ) but it may help.

We had a community iPad that was always in the patient’s room . If a parent couldn’t be there to accept the call, we’d call the nurse on duty and she would do the rest. It actually worked out pretty well under the circumstances. If the patient was sleeping, the kids could still see him, get an update from the nurse or parent- or just say, when he wakes up tell him that I called and I love him.

Your parents should give your advisor a call after school begins. Once you’re settled in seekout that person if you need any assistance or just someone to talk to.

All the best to you and your family.

Applejuice007, I recommend you reach out to your new school. The team of teachers responsible for your grade, especially your advisor, will want to know of such changes in your life.

You should also download the school’s calendar. Most schools have long weekends during the school year. See if you can plan to visit your relative during those long weekends. There are also weekends during which students are allowed to leave campus, with permission.

@applejuice007 I don’t have any specific information for you but I did want to encourage you to reach out to both your advisors and the school counselors for help and support as needed. They will be there for you as you deal with this…do not wait until you are completely overwhelmed. Best wishes to you and your family.