<p>my dad has cancer and is likely to pass away within a year, it could be within a few months. he is going to have chemotherapy and radiation treatment and a vaccine as a last chance to try to save him. i've been doing very well academically but have had alot of social problems, which i've been trying the hardest to solve now. anyways, the school i attend is fairly far from where i live, so i can only visit my dad on the weekends. </p>
<p>i'm really having a dilemma because although i've never really been close to my dad, i just now realize how spoiled i've been. he's worked his ass off to provide plenty of money for my family at the expense of all the health problems he's suffered thru the years. this is why i wish to spend as much remaining time with him as i can to let him know that i really love him. but i dont want to give up an entire quarter here, especially since it gets incredibly boring at home and its not like my dad needs me home 24/7. plus, he'll have support because my brother and mom will be home. plus i'll make sure i come home every weekend. also, it'll be even harder for me to fit in at college and make friends since i transferred here as a junior and everyone will know each better much better than me if i return after 1 or 2 quarters</p>
<p>i know that throughout the quarter, i'll still do well academically because i've gone thru serious depression before but still pulled decent grades. i'm just worried how i'll come off to my peers, if i let this really bother me, which it probably won't THAT much</p>
<p>do you guys suggest that i take a quarter off anyway, assuming that doing so wont totally destroy my college experience?</p>
<p>I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling with this. I hope he gets better.</p>
<p>Anyway...I'd take it off. You may never get another opportunity to build your relationship with your dad, and if you don't build that relationship while he's alive, you will severely regret it when he's gone.</p>
<p>just because you think that you would do well academically doesn't mean that you will do well academcially. who knows. maybe sometime during the quarter emotions will hit you that you never expected and it will hit harder than you could ever imagine. and it will screw up your academic performance.
not that your grades are the most important reason you should give up the quarter but do it to show respect.</p>
<p>Take the time with your family. You will NEVER get this time back. Not only will you be supporting your father, but your mother and brother as well. Talk to your parents about your decision making process, and make it a family decision. At least that way they will know what you are thinking about. If you are a junior, perhaps there is some type of independent study you coould get approval for for the quarter, which will keep you academically focused, but allow you the time at home. Just some ideas...</p>
<p>I just lost my dad a few weeks ago, and during the past year I spent as much time with him as I could, wished I could have spent more. Your dad may open up and say some things to you that he may not have otherwise, depending on how he is facing his illness personally, so go ahead and take the time off...there will be times on your journey that will be difficult, trust me on this, but there are support systems out there that will help you and your family should you need them. If you do decide to stay in school, there are probably support options there as well. Good luck in whatever decision you make...</p>
<p>this couldnt have come at a worse time. this was supposed to be the quarter where i decide what to major in, so i can apply for the appropriate research program for summer 08. anyway, how exactly does independent study work? it consists of self-study and do i have to contact my department's dean or somthing?</p>
<p>First, I'm so sorry to hear about this. My advice is go home. You can always go back later.
The first step is to speak to someone at the college about this and what they can do for you. Remeber college will always be there your dad might not be there.
Stay strong and give your dad the support he needs in this time. And remeber to also take care of yourself and the rest of your family.
My boss was in the same sistuation. And she left school but she went back after two years. She never regrets it. She reminds everyone that family comes first and other things are secondary.
(Go to the Parent forum. They have more wisdom and can provide other point of view).</p>
<p>Independent study generally involves you meeting with a professor a few times each semester and primarily studying on your own with a textbook and other resources the two of you find. It varies greatly by the course, but it be a very rewarding experience, although it will generally cost a bit more because of the "private instruction" you are getting. To look further into that, you should talk with a professor you'd be interested in doing an independent study with.
Another option would be to take an online class. This is probably a better option if you have not yet chosen a major and built relationships with at least one or more of the department faculty for your major.
Online coursework can be challenging or easy, depending on the class....</p>
<p>the doctor that spoke to us today said that with chemotherapy treatment, my dad should have at least 1 more year to live. But I dont think that should be taken too seriously because isnt it really unpredictable as to how long he'll actually live? Does anyone know more about this?</p>
<p>My dad and brother insist that I dont need to take this quarter off, but maybe the spring quarter off. But my mom suggests that I highly consider withdrawing in the middle of the next quarter (winter).</p>