family on visits...

<p>So we are taking my junior son on some visits over Spring Break. He has set up meetings with Admissions and Dept heads. My question is when you visited did you just let you child go on thier own or did you attend meetings with them. There will be 4 of us including Mom,Dad sister (9th grader) and my junior son.</p>

<p>I feel like we could all go on the tour...but not all to the meetings with Dept heads. Son is a little nervous about going it alone. Should one parent stay with him...or push him off on his own. Also..one prof invited him to lunch, I certainly don't want the entire family barging in on that one...but should one parent go with him there? The lunch meeting is the first thing they are doing, followed by class, meeting with dept head and then to admissions.</p>

<p>What is you experinces???</p>

<p>With DD, it was a process that she got better at the more visits we did. I think it is fine for the family to go on the tours. You will see many families on them. I know my DD would have been really nervous doing a lunch by herself at the beginning. I suggest one parent might tag along on that one to help the conversation along. I wouldnt go to the Dept. meetings since those tend to be shorter and easier for students. He should have some questions thought out ahead of time so he doesnt get all flustered and go blank.</p>

<p>Everyone can go (and is even expected to go) on the tour and attend group info sessions; I’d say meetings and lunch are most definitely just for the kid.</p>

<p>Tours and information sessions are full of families, and their presence would be expected. Interviews (including lunch with faculty) do not involve other family members, and their presence could be viewed negatively.</p>

<p>Agreed. The student should attend everything but the tour alone.</p>

<p>I would think the meetings, class (unless its a large lecture) and lunch are for the prospective student only, and the other things are open to the whole family. If your son has had the initiative to set things up, I’m sure he will do well at the lunch. I worry about a parent’s presence “throwing off” the nature of the interaction.</p>

<p>I also have to say “wow” - a professor who wants to take a prospective student to lunch!!!
How nice! Talk about a warm welcome…</p>

<p>Faculty know well that most high school students aren’t used to being on college campuses, and probably will be nervous and unsophisticated. Let your son go to the meetings with faculty alone, but let him know that faculty will be there to inform him, not to interrogate him.</p>

<p>Typically families take the tours together.</p>

<p>For S (older of the two), H and he went on tours and departmental visits together while D and I played tourist. For D, all three of us went on the tours and I accompanied her on departmental visits. Neither kid had a problem with it, and it was good to have one of us there to take “notes” for comparison afterward.</p>

<p>Agree with everyone. In our case we did not bring the younger son(s). Either my H or I would go with the touring student and the other would do something different with the non-college seeking kids, either in the town or something on campus. Agree that interviews, meetings w/teachers, etc. are for the student alone. Often I would walk to the building with my son(s), shake hands and introduce myself and get lost after arranging a point and location to reconnect. I’m sure my H did not walk with, introduce, shake hands, etc…not his “cup of tea.”</p>

<p>interesting thread…with my older daughter, I was all ready to leave her with a faculty member when the faculty member insisted that I stay…</p>

<p>will see what happens with my younger one…she doesn’t really want to sit in on classes/meet with faculty until she narrows down her list…but she is more than willing to meet with a student; on her own…</p>

<p>Question: If a student doesn’t know what they want to study, is it still beneficial to meet with a department head? it seems to be overkill in that case…but I’m willing to be proven wrong…</p>

<p>It might be interesting to a student to meet with a department head, but I don’t think it’s necessary. Anyway, most college students change majors at least twice…</p>

<p>We played it by ear at each school. Some departmental meetings were larger groups of people so I sat in on those with D. (and took notes) Some departmental meetings were obviously set up for just the students so all the parents sat outside. When she had meetings, lessons or masterclasses with teachers, we both went to the door and met the teacher. If the teacher invited me in, I went. If she didn’t, I sat outside. It was obvious if I expected to come in or expected to stay out. If I went in, I was a fly on the wall and very rarely said anything unless asked. My D liked it when I was in there because then we could discuss the pros/cons and make notes when we came out. She didn’t have a problem being by herself, she just lost the opportunity for the discussions of opinion with me. Making those notes is important because you will need them a year later. We had a list of the same/similar questions that we asked at every school. Make a folder for each school.</p>

<p>wow, these quick responses are great!! I really like comparing what everyone else did!!</p>

<p>Anothermom2 ,Yeah…isn’t that lunch thing cool! This college has been “courting” him since he was in 9th grade and contacted the school for information on a survey he was doing for a gifted seminar. The profs have stayed in touch with him “waiting” to get him to the campus!!! </p>

<p>Of course the lunch is the very first day and the very first thing on all our visits. He is a pretty confident kid, if it was anything other then the darn first thing he was doing I know he’d be fine! I am just hoping the dept. head will be able to put him at ease and he will just enjoy the chat!!!</p>

<p>In my opinion if notes are wanted or needed the student should take them. What is important to the parent may not be at all significant to the student.<br>
When I did touring wtih both my kids anytime we saw a parent with folders/binders/taking notes it was a roll your eyes moment. In my daughter’s case one of those students ended up in her dorm and has had a very difficult time fitting in. She clearly relied on her mother for everything.</p>

<p>ebeeee…GOOD point and one I want D1 to keep in mind about the student making the notes on each school.
However, I think if the parent wants to jot down their general impressions for later ‘at-home’ conversations there is nothing wrong with that.</p>

<p>POTO–D1 has some questions for schools but struggling a bit with that part… can you share your general list of questions for each school? If so–thanks!</p>

<p>Questions for an interview or questions during a general information session? During the general information session I found that all questions were anticipated and answered. The questions that were asked were of the “people who need to hear their own voice” type.<br>
During the campus tours the students did open up a little and ask questions of the tour guides. My favorite was student who was trying to delicately ask about overnight opposite sex guests. The tour guide wasn’t getting it. Finally my son said “he is asking about hooking up.” That got a laugh. I remained quiet. LOL</p>

<p>I agree with the statements that the information sessions and tours will have additional family members attending. In fact, they can be useful for your younger child as well.</p>

<p>Being the mean mommy that I am, I made my freshman son go to several info sessions and tours with my junior daughter (because both my husband and I wanted to go, and what else would he do–wander the city?) It doesn’t hurt the younger student to know that sometimes we will do things together because we’re a family.</p>

<p>After one recent visit, my son said he would never go to that college. I asked why. He said, “Mom. It’s in a city.” At least we can now make his list of potential colleges (and visits) a little shorter.</p>

<p>The information sessions are pretty boring; don’t make a younger sibling sit through them, nor a parent, unless truly interested. Nearly all of the information can be found on the school’s website.</p>

<p>I also would not make a sibling take a tour if he or she didn’t want to. Have one parent and the younger child be the neighborhood explorers, and go find something exciting in the area to tell everyone about. </p>

<p>As for questions at the lunch, your son should do enough investigating beforehand to have a list of things at the school that interest him. This is his chance to get the inside scoop, not the website-type of information.You may want to take a look, if he’ll let you, and add a few questions of your own.</p>

<p>After we had done traditional visits (tours, information sessions, etc.) at a couple of schools, DD decided she wanted to go it alone. She felt as though she could get more of a feel for the school by herself. At the school she selected, a professor asked where her parents were and thanked her for not bringing us along.</p>

<p>Little sister came on big brother’s college visits. We did NOT make her go on the tours or sit through the info sessions. She usually just walked around the campus herself, found something to eat at the student center, or went to the library. When the weather was nice…she sat outside. We (the parents) went on the tours. We also went to the info sessions. We ONLY sat in on “interviews” if we were invited to do so by the college staff (sometimes they invited us to join them and sometimes the didn’t).</p>