<p>We're taking our Junior DS for our first official college visit next month during Spring Break, visiting Stanford, Berkeley and CalTeach (all arguably reach schools). We're fortunate enough to have a friend who knows a few professors and has opened the door for us to actually have appointments with professors. Given this is our first round of this, I'd appreciate any advice as to how this type of appt. might go. My DS can be very engaging if the topic is right, but also can be the typical "whatever" teen--especially with us there. However, as this is not an interview, I don't think he should see the professor alone, especially since we'd be right there, but I don't want to inhibit the conversation either. What should DS's questions be and should we chime in with a few also? (I'm thinking: how accessible are professors to students; what opportunities do freshmen get to take the classes they want; how is this school different from the other CA schools or than MIT or Carnegie Melon--or is that appropriate?) Thanks!!</p>
<p>It think this is an opportunity for your son, and that he should meet with the professors solo.</p>
<p>My daughter met with a professor at a college in the spring of her junior year and he gave her a tour of the department (Art). This was arranged through contacting the department - we did not have a personal connection like you do. I agree with SunnyFlorida that if a student is old enough to be speaking to professors, he is old enough to meet with the professor solo, and I did not plan to be in on the meeting. In any case,the professor, who was extremely nice, invited me to go on the department tour along with my daughter, so I ended up doing it anyway. I recommend planning for your son to meet alone with the professors, but if you are invited to join, go ahead. Or they might ask you at the end of the talking to your son whether you have any questions.</p>
<p>Hard to change gears, but for the college admissions (and beyond) you have to remember that it is their show; not a parent-child activity, but a parent in the background one. The experience of relating to the professors as an adult will be good for your rising adult- and take away any chances of parents dominating the interaction. Let him have the privacy without needing to worry about what his parents think of his interaction, or how they are ruining things. He won't ask the questions you feel are essential, but he will get the information he wants, including nonverbal cues.</p>
<p>"My DS can be very engaging if the topic is right, but also can be the typical "whatever" teen--especially with us there. "</p>
<p>A good reason why he should go it alone. Plus, it will be excellent practice for when he does interview.</p>
<p>I agree that seeing the professors alone is appropriate. </p>
<p>If it were my kid, I'd wish him luck on each interview and then I'd go off and explore the college bookstore! :)</p>
<p>Yep, it's one of the many times in this college thing that you kind of suck in your breath and push 'em out of the nest. Let him go it alone, and he'll probably do a lot better than if you were there. I'm with ADad in the bookstore!!!</p>
<p>You should not be there with him. He's the one who will be attending college not you. You are welcome to suggest questions he might want to ask the prof ahead of time however. :)</p>
<p>Well, I may not be as bright as my son, but I believe I see a pattern here! Okay--(gulp!)</p>
<p>Just wondering--any reason why he's not also looking at Harvey Mudd?</p>
<p>Definitely agree on the solo part. The first time DS spoke with a prof, she had to virtually drag him into her office (we were cruising the halls in a department, and a prof spontaneously asked him if he wanted to talk. No preparation or advance notice.). He was the classic deer-in-the-headlights. This was the summer before junior year. (BTW, the prof was very nice. She could tell he was young and nervous.)</p>
<p>But you know what? He learned a great deal from that experience. When he and DH visited schools over Spring Break, he was prepared. Had looked at the profs' CVs and course syllabi online, had questions already in mind, knew what he wanted to get out of it. It was a much more successful experience.</p>
<p>I think this process of talking to profs helped a lot when it finally came time to do interviews with college adcoms. These kids do a LOT of growing up in a short time. My son went from shy and tongue-tied to confident and unafraid in less than a year. It's funny because we had worried that presenting himself in an interview would be a real challenge for him. (Yet another example of where we just stood back and watched, instead of worried.)</p>
<p>Your student will need to be comfortable approaching a prof with questions in the not-too-distant future. It's an important college survival skill. Express your confidence that your D/S can do this, that professors don't bite, and go for it! </p>
<p>An application-related PS: some schools ask if a student has talked to profs and when. Tracks demonstrated interest, etc., though I doubt they actually go back and ask profs what the kid was like. Have your S/D get a business card from each person he/she speaks with -- good for contacting as a follow-up, thank you note, and to document the contact. Or, at the very least, the student should write down name/department.</p>
<p>I am an engineering professor and see no problem whatsoever in meeting with a prof in the department your son is interested in. Most in my profession enjoy speaking with students and prospective students.</p>
<p>In addition when we were visiting colleges with our ds, we visited the computer science departments at each. On most occasions a faculty member asked if he could give us assistance and after introduction, spent time with our son. This happened at RPI, Case, Rochester and Allegheny. Each time he was given a cooks tour of the departments facilities and at Case he was invited to department picnic which was scheduled for that afternoon.</p>
<p>So even if you do not have an appointment visit the department and wander around. Generally the bulletin boards are informative and there are often poster presentations mounted in the hallways summarizing undergrad/grad research.</p>
<p>I know this may be intimidating for some families but give it a try.</p>
<p>Originaloog,
One of DS's criteria for evaluating schools turned out to be what was on the walls in the departments. It's a GREAT way to see what's REALLY going on. Some schools had lists of where students were heading after graduation, Putnam results, posted cartoons, etc. He got a sense of the department's personality.</p>
<p>DS got impromptu tours at Mudd and CMU, and we know someone else who also had a very personalized tour at Case. Case seems to know how to show the love to prospies!</p>
<p>Second the suggestion for looking at Harvey Mudd BTW. We looked at the same three CA schools and should have looked at HM as well. It's an hour or two from Caltech.</p>
<p>Thanks very much for all the tips--we'll try wandering in Comp Sci areas and also will get the business cards.</p>
<p>As to your question, SlitheyTove, I'm not sure about why Harvey Mudd didn't make his list. I think it's party that they don't have grad programs in CompSci and maybe because it's considered more liberal art-ish in which case he can be here at UVA (if he gets in). Also I think name recognition had something to do with it, not as well known out here, at least to us.</p>
<p>Mathmom--what did you all think, comparing the 3, and where did yours decide to go?</p>
<p>Harvey Mudd is not liberal arts-ish. It is an small undegrad science and engineering school.</p>
<p>Mudd has a significant humanities component, but rest assured, it's heavy-duty on the engineering! Mudd is an UG-only school, though there are some courses available through the Claremont Graduate School. If you're at Caltech, Mudd is about 30 minutes away. The atmosphere is totally different.</p>
<p>UVA is a terrific school -- it sets a pretty high standard to hold other schools against.</p>
<p>Yes, UVA's great, plus it's on the east coast which is a plus as far as his Dad and I are concerned. Plus the cost difference--please! Unfortunately, I think kids here take the VA schools for granted. Anyway, he's an independent sort, so we're trying to stay opened minded and check out the west coast schools since they appeal to him. Hopefully he'll realize what a huge trip it is and that'll factor in. Let's see.</p>
<p>I guess I'll be the lone dissenter and say that I would ask my son if he'd prefer I be there with him or if he'd rather be on his own. I don't think it matters either way; this is not a college interview but an information gathering session. If my teenage kid thought he'd be more comfortable speaking to a professor with a parent in tow, that would be fine with me. The college search/application/decision can be a family affair if you and your son want it to be. Not every kid is equally independent at a given age. If your son would like you be with him when he speaks with professors, it does not mean he will be living at home when he's 30!</p>