Fears about Verbosity of College Essays?

Applying to College
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<p>When I wrote my college essay, I did so in my usual writing style. Then I decided to look at some tips for writing successful admissions essays, and even found some examples of essays that had been such.</p>

<p>That was when the fear set in.</p>

<p>You see, the essays I found bear almost no resemblance to my own. Though many are funny and wonderfully just a tad off-beat, the language used in them is much rougher and rather simple. Seeing that these "successful" essays have so very little in common with my own raised concerns. </p>

<p>I presented my admissions essay to my notoriously-difficult English teacher, and she even wrote "beautifully done!" on the top of it, but . . . I do recognize that my essay is unusual. It comes quite close to being a vignette, and even contains an extended metaphor and abstract concepts. The language is flowing, the word choice nuanced and sophisticated. I let the words flow because it was natural. I love words; they are my companion and joy! (Ah, yes, I do plan on being an English major.)</p>

<p>I fear that my essay may be written off by admissions officers not only because of my unusual writing style, but because the recurring tip that my search yielded was simply this: avoid sounding like one has swallowed a thesaurus.</p>

<p>While I have never been told that I sound like I swallowed a thesaurus, I do know that my vocabulary is very, very broad, and thusly my word choice is often a bit unusual. I recognize the nuances of language, and try to use words to capture the full breadth of my intent. "Big words" are not my intent, but I do intend to use strong verbs, to use words that realize the image I wish to create. I now fear that admissions officers shall "write me off" simply because they may think that I am intentionally trying to be unusual or that I had a thesaurus open when I wrote my essay. </p>

<p>I wouldn't categorize my essay as "unnecessarily wordy," and as my English teacher did not mention such (as she did with other students), I am inclined to think I am correct. Yet I need to be certain that I am not handicapping myself before I send this essay in. At the same time, I don't want to change my writing style unless I must for I know therein my natural written voice lies. </p>

<p>Do colleges "write off" essays written in unusual styles? Can they tell the difference between "I ate a thesaurus for lunch" and "I consume an incredible amount of literature in my free time?" </p>

<p>Thank you for any assistance you can provide.</p>

<p>-Ethlyn</p>

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<p>If this post is any indication, your essay is overwritten.</p>

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<p>I had a bad feeling that I was being too long-winded in this thread. I promise it was not the case in my essay.</p>

<p>My essay is only . . . 355 words. The limit was 650 words. My teacher mentioned nothing about my essay being too verbose, though she did mention it to other students. </p>

<p>I think I went a bit overboard in my original post because I tend to do that when I’m freaking out. (And honestly, I’ve been an inch away from a panic attack for a few weeks now.)</p>

<p>What I should have said was simply this: My essay is very different in both style and word choice from those that I saw in my search for examples of successful essays. Is this going to hurt me in the college application process?</p>

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<p>It’s not the length of the essay, it’s the pretentiousness of your writing that is going to be the problem for you. Try reading even what you have written above out loud. Who says “thusly” or “therein” in conversation?</p>

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<p>The only cause for hesitation would be if your essay is so complex and nuanced that it may go over an admission officer’s head. Keep in mind they will probably spend ten to fifteen minutes on your entire file and usually five minutes or less on your essay. If you aren’t completely sure they can easily comprehend it in five minutes then tone it down. Can you give some examples of big words you used and the context just for our reference. Your post is about an extremely specific example without actually providing a word of the essay.</p>

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<p>The college essays you see in such books are ten, twenty, or even fifty examples of “successful” ivy league essays. Each year, over 1000 kids get into Harvard alone; the fifty are hardly representative samples.</p>

<p>Your concerns may be unfounded, or they may be valid. But we’d have to actually see your essay to judge that.</p>

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<p>Thank you all very much for your input. </p>

<p>Sally – In formal conversation, I do. Among friends, I do not speak in such a manner. Moreover, I do not believe I did so in my essay.</p>

<p>I apologize for coming off as pretentious. </p>

<p>Andrew – I see. In my essay, it isn’t much a manner of “big words” as . . . other things. My delivery of this message seems almost as a vignette rather than a traditional essay. In it, I’m mentioning personhood and nature, and how nature calms my soul and allows me to think. And maybe that wouldn’t be much of a potential issue, but I do use a lot of very strong verbs (thus the reason I fear they may think I swallowed a thesaurus), and I often invert or alter sentence structure in a way that may be considered unusual, or simply say things in an unusual manner. (i.e. “it is everything I would will it be” and “soul will weather no injury”) </p>

<p>My teacher liked the essay and told me it was “beautifully done,” but I still fear that admissions officers won’t feel the same way.</p>

<p>Nihilus – Thank you. I understand.</p>

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<p>I have been having the exact same panic attack, and it sounds like we even have similar topics (prompt 4 i’m guessing?). My essay is also unlike others I’ve read. Everyone who has read it told me it is great so I am going to suck it up, and submit it (deep breaths). If they don’t want me at their college so be it, I’m sure someone will like it.</p>

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<p><em>commiserates</em></p>

<p>Yes, prompt four. Honestly, your comment makes me feel a lot better. I have an anxiety problem, and this is *fefinitely *high-stress.</p>

<p>We can do this!</p>

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<p>I will have more thoughts for you in the morning, but assuming you haven’t sent it in yet, here’s the best advice I can give anyone about their essay:</p>

<p>Make sure your essay is done at least 10 days before it’s due. When you’re done, set it aside and don’t look at it for a week. After one week, read it. If you’re still happy with it, it’s good. (Closer to the deadline, you can just give it 24 hours.)</p>

<p>BTW, trusted college advisor reports 90% of his kids are using Prompt 4, but they’re all answering it in different and original ways, often ways that the writers of the prompt probably hadn’t thought of.</p>

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<p>Fefinitely. :D</p>

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<p>"…this is fefinitely high-stress."</p>

<p>Is fefinitely a pretentious synonym for definitely?</p>

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<p>Don’t worry now. If you felt you did your best, stick with that. Over the several posts, you seem genuine and likeable. Best wishes.</p>

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<p>I think different is good. And unique is good. It might be refreshing to the poor admissions officer who has to read hundreds of these. In an interview with NPR, the Director of Admissions at Georgia Tech said that most college essays are pretty bad. He estimates that only one out of 20 are any good at all. However, admissions officers are looking and reading…they don’t ‘write anyone off’ in the sense you mean.</p>

<p>Colleges want to see good writing, but this is not meant to be a writing sample per se. It is an opportunity to let the readers get to know you in another manner than stats and lists of EC’s and awards. It is meant to provide some insight, presumably so they can glean why you would be an asset to the college and community. That is why overwrought or pretentious language could be a barrier to that aim. That is why people counsel to use natural sounding language.</p>

<p>However, I don’t think it should mean that good writers should have to stifle themselves. It is pretty easy to spot when someone is misusing words or just shoving SAT words in wily nily. If your writing is precise and a bit more elevated, then it would seem silly to dumb it down.</p>

<p>Since we can’t see your essay this is all just guess work. We aren’t admissions officers anyway. (Well there are some who post here but not about essays) Conciseness is good, but I’d wonder at the length. It the topic sufficient? Is the scope too narrow? Did the writer use good judgement? Did she just not bother to talk to us? Sorry I don’t want to make you more paranoid, just food for thought. It may be bold and quite sufficient.</p>

<p>Now, is the English teacher the one who advises about the college essay or would it be better to get the opinion of your GC, given that your essay may be some radical departure from the norm?</p>

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<p>Fefinitely? Bahaha, this is what I get for trying to type on a phone without my glasses.</p>

<p>@MrMom:</p>

<p>Okay, thanks. It isn’t due for weeks, so I think I’ll just concentrate on making sure I have my recommendation letters.</p>

<p>@lookingforward: Thanks. I’ll try not to worry myself to death.</p>

<p>@BrownParent: Thanks. Do you think that 355 words would be too short? I felt that my essay was fully-developed, but the length does sound like it is rather on the short side . . . </p>

<p>I think I can place stock in what my English teacher says. She has been teaching for forty years. I suppose it couldn’t hurt to consult my guidance counselor, but she always seems so frazzled. (I don’t blame her.)</p>

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<p>Because it’s different than what you usually write for English, it’s good to see if the GC has time. Agree with BP, the point is to show the sort of personal qualities they seek. So check for that.</p>

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<p>At a presentation by an admissions officer at a top school on why people get it, she had something very interesting to say about the main CA essay. And that is they are often so scrubbed and sterile, they lose the very thing that they were meant to convey, the voice of the prospective student. They play it safe and wind up saying nothing. So, inside secret here, many readers often pay much closer attention to the supplementary essays, that aren’t so scrubbed and polished, to get a real sense of what the student is like.</p>

<p>It’s also a mistake to think the essay can disqualify you. (Well, I suppose it could if you expressed your admiration for Mein Kampf, but we’ll assume you’re not insane.) As someone said above, most essays are bad. Really bad. Or boring. Or they say nothing. At worst, that’s neutral. Neutral means you stay in the giant pile of prospective students. So, assuming you got past the academic screening, what should the essay(s) do? It should give the school a reason to want to accept you and pull you out of the pile of prospective students and put you in the pile of accepted students. Once you go in that pile, you stay in that pile, they don’t go back and say, “Oh, found a better one, have to eliminate someone else.”</p>

<p>So, back to your specific essay. There are really only a few requirements. First off, does it answer the question asked? Second, it it as well written as you can make it? And third, and most important, is it really you? Does it convey who you are and give your application “voice”. Will the reader know you after reading it. If it does all three, and still does all three after sitting for a week, then you’ve done your job. Anything else is formula, and formula isn’t going to get you pulled from the prospective pile.</p>

<p>One final thing that I’ve seen mentioned elsewhere, it’s not original to me. Imagine if your essay were put anonymously into a pile of 10, and given to your friends who know you well. After reading all 10, could they guess which essay was yours? If yes, you’ve given it voice.</p>

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<p>@lookingforward: Understood! =)</p>

<p>@MrMom: Thank you very much. That’s all very helpful.</p>

<p>I know that my essay shan’t necessarily disqualify me (well, I guess it’s a good thing I neither admire Mein Kampf nor wrote about it in my essay), but I’ve always been a rather nervous person and I worry. A lot. Too much. But I’ll definitely try to put my panic aside and try to come back to the essay in a bit and see if it still rings just right to me.</p>