feedback on my appeal - any help is welcome (: im freaking out

<p>I just received a letter saying i got rescinded from SDSU. i am freaking out. I have my letter written already and here's my situation, i ended my second semester with 3 C's and 3 D's.
bellow is my letter, please feel free to give me feedback or state your opinion (whether i have a chance or not). Also, i dont have the notes that excuse me from class (you'll understand once you read my letter), but im asking my doctor to write them a letter.</p>

<p>Dear [Name of Dean of Undergraduate Admissions Dr/Ms/Mr],
I am writing to appeal my application rescindence from San Diego State University. I was not surprised, but very upset to receive a letter earlier this week informing me of my rescindence. I would like to urge you to reinstate me for this upcoming year.
I admit, I had a difficult time this past semester, and my grades suffered. I don't mean to make excuses for my poor academic performance, but I would like to explain the circumstances behind my grades. I knew that registering for IB classes and tests would require a lot of work on my part, but I decided that taking those classes would be best for me. I thought I could handle the workload, and I still think I could have, except that I tore my right ACL in the end of the first semester. Not having health care, I contacted the school trainer who told me it was a simple meniscus tear and I shouldn't worry about it. I had to walk around for a long time on a torn ACL. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but it hurt a lot. It turned out more serious than it appeared. Dr. Barber read my MRI and advised me to get surgery for my meniscus. The surgery was scheduled for May 5, 2013. It was supposed to be a simple operation and if nothing went wrong I would have been able to go back to class the very next day. However, upon arriving at the Campus Surgery Center I was informed that my MRI was reviewed and, unfortunately, what seemed to be a simple meniscus tear was in reality an ACL tear. The surgery was rescheduled for May 29, 2013. The next day, May 8, I received a call that the Surgery Center had a last minute opening on Friday, May 9. I was operated on Friday. For the next week I was required to stay home under strong painkillers. Because everything happened so fast I was not able to inform my teachers about my situation. Needless to say, I was not able to be in class and missed out on a lot of information and many assignments. Besides being absent for a week straight, I had to miss many classes due to medical follow ups and physical therapy. I understand now that I should have communicated better with my teachers. I thought I could handle all of these burdens, and I tried my best. I was wrong. I was not able to catch up with all the work I missed.
I love San Diego State University, and it would mean so much to me to graduate with a degree from this school, which would make me the first person in my family to complete a college degree. In my opinion, higher education is very important. It is an achievement that no one will ever take away from me. If I am reinstated, I will focus much better on my schoolwork, be conscious about the classes I sign up for, and manage my time more wisely. Planning out my day, hour by hour, was my first step and improvements have been noticed already. Fortunately, my knee is recovering well, so I should not need to be absent from school anymore. Also, I have met with my advisor, and I will follow her advice about communicating better with my teachers and future professors from now on. Please understand that my second semester grades that led to my dismissal do not indicate that I am a bad student. Really, I'm a good student who had one very, very bad semester. I hope you will give me a second chance. Thank you for considering this appeal.</p>

<p>Sincerely,
MY NAME</p>

<p>Seems okay but it would help if you could show evidence that you were doing better before the injury. Be sure to grammar/spellcheck - not sure rescindence is a word (rescindment?). Also use more paragraphs - it really makes it easier to read.</p>

<p>It’s okay, but I think you should ahve someone help you check for grammar and flow.</p>

<p>rescission, not rescindence</p>

<p>i only used one paragraph because i heard that the letter shouldnt be that long
and wouldnt they know how i did before since i submitted my grades?</p>

<ul>
<li>im not trying to argue im just explaining why i did it and wondering why should i change it. Thank you Jamcafe</li>
</ul>

<p>thank you for all the feedback (:</p>

<p>I agree with others, make sure to edit for grammar/spelling. I would also revise a little bit with word choice to be more concise but that isn’t as important. </p>

<p>I also agree it’d a good idea to show that were doing well in class prior to the injury.</p>

<p>so should i add more even though it will make it longer
?</p>

<p>wlwlwl: make an academic plan about how you plan to utilize the academic tutoring center or department grad assistants help and list that as your plan of action.</p>

<p>Be more concise and have a teacher read it for more flow.</p>

<p>I believe you meant to say you didn’t have “health insurance,” not “health care.”</p>

<p>A lot of appeals posted on this forum are just lame excuses, but this one actually sounds pretty legitimate. Good luck.</p>

<p>They wouldn’t necessarily have seen 9 week or whatever grades. They probably just saw final grades. Would definitely help if you could show that your grades were higher in the prior grading period.</p>

<p>Two week long thread – what has happened has happened already. The rescission was carried out and OP is going to go to CC.</p>