So I feel like a giant failure currently. I have always had a problem in school with memorization but I was just told I did not work hard enough. I have always felt different and well, what you know, turns out I have a generic condition that could have affected my brain. My mom has always know something was wrong with as I have been more trouble to raise then all my 3 siblings combined. I give 200% of my time and energy to my school and I did PSEO which has been a complete mistake as I got 3 D’s last semester due to corona and my gpa is currently is 2.85, I would hope to go to med school, but chemistry was one of my D’s. I got a D in chemistry last year as well. My teachers were the worst teachers I had ever had in 13 years of being a student, they belonged in grad school, not introductory courses. I had a high gpa before PSEO, but now there is no hope for med school because I can’t even pass chemistry with a C, so I had to abandon my original plan and decided to become a lawyer, which I can’t do with a 2.85 gpa. I did PSEO in the first place because I hated my classmates with a passion because of there attitudes, I had no friends and I could not live another day in that hell. I had begged my parents for some other alterative such as switching schools or online school since primary school. I cried and ranted at my parents every single day for hours on what I went through, I would never ever do that to my child, I would have my child go through so much pain as I went through. So currently my life is on fire and I wonder if I should just take a gap year and just reevaluate my life, anyways thanks for listening to my rant.
I am not sure from your message what your current status is - if you are currently enrolled, you might want to take a leave of absence rather than a gap year, but in either case, it does seem you would benefit from a break. I think your first priority should be gaining a clear understanding of the condition that may be affecting you and the source of your memory problems. You would probably benefit from therapy as well, as this situation has clearly been very demoralizing for you, but I suggest you talk with a neurologist or neuropsychologist - a neuropsychologist can put you through a battery of tests that would help pinpoint the nature of your memory issues - short-term, long-term, visual, aural, etc., and a neurologist can do EEGs, MRIs, etc. to identify any brain issues. It’s not always easy to get to the bottom of these issues, doctors tend to look at things from the perspective of their own specialties sometimes, but if you can figure it out, it may make a great deal of difference, both in how you think about what you’ve been experiencing and what you can do to move past it. Your message resonated with me personally - my daughter started experiencing memory and visual problems in middle school that we chased for quite a while before a very smart and persistent psychiatrist realized it might be a form of epilepsy and sent her for a neurological workup. Even after we had the diagnosis, she had to go through a process of trial and error before finding the right medications, but now she is symptom-free and she just graduated from high-school with nearly straight As. After she was diagnosed, she switched to an online school on what we thought would be a temporary basis, but it turned out that format worked much better for her, and she is now looking at online college courses. It’s a really rough thing to go through at your stage of life. I hope you can find yourself some good help and also give yourself a break.
What is PSEO?
I agree that you need to learn more about your genetic condition, and get help for it, particularly the apparent memory problems. I am so sorry that your academic issues were blamed on work ethic: you probably worked harder than most. Believe me you are not alone in that kind of unjust judgement. The good thing is, the problem is now identified and things are not your fault.
I hope you can have proper testing and that answers are found in terms of treatment. The story above shows that it can take time to find the right approach. I hope you have a good primary care doc. Have you had neuropsych. testing? If so, you can register with the Office of Disabilities at your school and get accommodations that might help your academics, things like extra time on assignments, reduced course load, alternatives to memorization and so on.
COVID has had a huge impact for many young people and I am glad you realize that.
Finally, you seem focused on professions like medicine and law. There are many many good jobs out there and they don’t all fit into a neat category. Study what you are interested in and what you are good at. The rest will follow. You don’t have to have a career path in mind just yet. Also if you are interested in health care professions, there are other options like nursing, PT, OT, speech, physician’s assistant (competitive too), radiology tech and so on.
I think the OP may still be in high school. I googled PSEO and it sounds like dual enrollment.
OP : Is this GPA a high school GPA?
I agree that the number one priority is to get your health straightened out. Find out what the problem is and takes steps to get it under control. Stop worrying about things that are far in the future.
You’d be surprised how many highly successful people had high school or college gap’s of 2.85.
The legal profession has a high rate of dissatisfaction and career change as a result. Not the easiest path to pursue if you’re already dissatisfied.
Maybe this is an opportunity to reassess and figure out what path in life would be most personally rewarding. It might be a gift too be forced to do this now at a young age rather than during midlife crisis when many people experience exactly the same feelings of failure and misery that you are describing now. If you can find the path that truly engages you at your core, your life can be very rewarding.
Thank you all for your helpful advice.
You have a greater passion for medicine than any other job you’ve come across, because you quite literally have not come across hundreds of other professions!
So stop worrying about medical school! Focus on getting yourself the help you need to become the person you can be-- all the career stuff can wait.
I agree that there are lots of ways to work in the health profession without going to medical school. I hope the OP finds a good school environment conducive to success, but there is too much blaming of others (all the teachers were bad, there was Covid, classmates are hated) that doesn’t explain why other students probably got grades better than a D. PSEO isn’t a good choice for everyone.