I lost my mom this time last year, and just lost my dad 3 weeks ago. My only sibling passed away years ago.
My husband and son are everything.
After two at-home tests, my husband has tested positive for Covid. We are both fully vaccinated and boosted. He drives a special needs school bus and has not been wearing a mask even though I’ve asked him to.
We are both high risk and now I’ve been exposed too. He is trying to stay in the basement and we are wearing masks. I’m picking up an anti viral for him shortly.
I am so completely mad and sad. Mad that he wouldn’t wear a mask on his bus, and so very sad our son can’t come home for Christmas now. I never imagined us spending a Christmas apart. I can’t stop crying. I was sad enough already.
Nothing helpful to add, just virtual hugs and much sympathy.
This year is a misery for us, too. My mother broke her patella Thanksgiving weekend and is wheelchair-bound with us for the next several weeks, my dad just had his second round of chemo Tuesday, and our only child is in Qatar for the next several months, making this the third year since he’s been home (even for a visit, not just Christmas). So, at some level, I do understand your sadness. We keep saying, “Hopefully, next year, we’ll look back and be grateful its not 2022.”
Any chance you can pick a different day as your Christmas? And that your son could come then? December 25🎄is just a day. Maybe celebrate the first weekend of the new year, or something like that.
It will be something to look forward to that will bring you holiday cheer.
I say this seriously. We will be celebrating Christmas on December 27 because that is when our nearby kid can do it (due to work schedule).
Wish there were words that could ease your disappointment but I am sure they don’t exist. Wishing you a joyous day together as a family as soon as everyone feels better and a healthy, happy and prosperous New Year!!
I understand you feeling both mad and sad, and I hope you can find some peace and comfort in memories of happier times.
Perhaps your H believed that being fully vax’d and boosted meant that he could safely forgo wearing a mask. I hope you can forgive him. My H thinks I’m overly cautious even though both of us are high risk and he can be pretty lax about precautions. I’ve been furious with him at times but it doesn’t help matters.
Sometimes we need to just cry until we can’t cry any more. For me that’s been rare, but when it occurs I find that a hot soak, some dark chocolate and an early bedtime afterwards really do help me regain some perspective. That isn’t meant to sound flip, because the extra sleep makes it easier to cope.
We now plan to celebrate Christmas at the end of January. It’s not the first time we’ve had to adapt to unfortunate circumstances. I hope you’re able to make similar plans with your son.
Sorry to hear this! Have a good cry and then maybe make plans for an alternate celebration. I understand how disappointed you must be. Neither of our girls will be here tomorrow as they are both at their in-laws. It’s hard, I know. Hang in there.
Hugs to you. Our son is still in the psych hospital (almost four months straight, five months total in 2022). So I feel very sad, too. I’m just trying to make this weekend as nice as possible for my husband, daughter, and me. I keep telling myself that things will get better.
@uwalummom sending some virtual hugs and care your way. This season is always hard on me for so many reasons. Be kind to yourself, and by all means feel free to indulge in “eating your feelings” or whatever the thing is that soothes a little of the hurt. But then you need to let it go. And don’t harbor any of it, it doesn’t help. Just know that I care. I’ll be here tomorrow too.
Misery loves company? My BIL died November and my sister has been beside herself. She’s coming over. Which is great but naturally the kids are at in-laws and it’ll just be the three of us.
We just keep smiling and carrying on. But it’s tough.
Also tough for me, as my father just died last night after a tough 4 day “transition” at home, with me as the caregiver. But my father was 92, with a host of medical issues, so his passing was not unexpected. But know you are not alone!
I vote self medicate, however you self medicate. Personally, my hardcore soothing thing is to binge watch The Great British Baking Show.
So sorry for all of the sad things that are happening around this holiday.
I’m in Tennessee with my mom, who’s in the hospital because she fell at my daughters a week ago.
My husband is at his parents which he had to go to because he has surgery on Monday. I won’t be there but he has his family to help him.
My daughter is in NE Ohio with my sister and niece. Niece had surgery yesterday and my daughter’s flights today were canceled. She’s on 3 different flights tomorrow to try to be with her fiancé. She finished 20 rounds of chemo a week ago, she will begin 5 weeks of radiation middle of January
My nephew of my sisters went on a trip which he can’t get back from (him I don’t feel that bad for, he was on a trip with his buddies)
My son is home with his wife and baby. They have all been sick but my dil’s mother was going to come. It’s her first Christmas since her husband passed away. But the Ohio turnpike was shut down so she has to stay home.
My husband’s brother just went through a terrible divorce and his kids are spending the holidays on a tropical island with their mother.
Thank you all for the kind words of support. I really appreciate it. And my heart goes out to the many of you having difficult holidays this year, too.
I did feel better after getting out for a short drive to pick up my husband’s medicine. Our son stopped by and chatted from the garage for a little bit and we have spoken on the phone a few times today as well. We will be giving Skype a try tomorrow.
The nicest thing is that our son was invited by one of his best friend’s family to spend Christmas Day with them tomorrow. I am so grateful for their kindness. The thought of him being alone on Christmas was awful.
I’m glad things are a little better, but also second the idea of having your Christmas on a different day that works for you. If Christmas is a religious holiday for you, I’m positive God wouldn’t mind. Quite honestly no one knows what day Jesus was born on anyway - people picked the 25th of Dec to celebrate it on, and relatively recently at that.
Our family often switches dates of many things and they’re still equally as meaningful to us, moreso than the traditional dates if everyone can be together vs not. We’ll even celebrate twice if that’s what it takes to enjoy the holiday with different people.
Also sending sympathies for the loss of family members. My mom passed away in 2018 and I still have times I’m incredibly sad and miss her. I try to help myself get over them by knowing she’d chew me out for not moving on. It sort of works. My dad passed away a year earlier than mom and my only sibling cut communication between us off due to an issue with dad’s estate, so yeah, I don’t feel like I have many family members in my life either. I’m thankful for H and my (adult) boys + spouses.
