<p>I am not like most of the students on this board, I live a lot of my life in my head, I don't like it much since it doesn't allow for true development, but it is how I have adjusted to life. Anyhow, when I was a freshman I chose film because I could imagine various life events etc., and I was moved by the idea that I could one day expose my vision. After a basic film course, one which was pretty much BS and focused on what you memorized from the film, I decided that film wasn't for me...yeah, how flaky, trust me, I am aware. I then decided I was more interested in analysis (perhaps creatively), so I chose an English major. After two advanced courses, I yet again decided that this was a field not for me. So what do I do then? I decide to take general chemistry in the summer, I excel in it (although the class was not very tough) and I am now taking organic chemistry. One thing I do know about myself is that I am very creative and slightly analytical, I believed that organic chemistry was a great combination and even thought about graduate school (I am the top student in my competitive organic chem course, but I actually like organic chem whereas I now loathe the hazy calculations of gen. chem).
However, my noncommittal character is getting the best of me. Sometimes I say since when am I a science person? I STILL dread math and physics, and cram for those two courses because I surely don't want to make a commitment to those courses. I am thinking of going into the visual arts...I feel like I would have more freedom with my creativity. I have even thought about architecture. Can't you see I am just dabbling? I just want to find something that enlivens me as I work with it. Organic chem might be interesting, but it does not do that all too often (ah but I am a sucker for synthesis...the basis of o.chem I do believe). I feel like I am cursed with this ability to find interest in many things. It would be okay so long as I was able to find one thing that kept my heart aleap.
One huge problem I have is being able to meld my desires with reality. It should be known that I am in my third college, I just can't get these things right. I have considered dropping out to pursue the freedom of the world, however that is proving unrealistic as then all my federal money will be owed all too soon and also I actually WANT a focused academic development. Any advice, please? In life, in school, in anything? I feel like inner passions have been stifiled. I want freedom and focus. It is so hard to be in an organic chem class of premeddies who know what they want (and who would also kill for the grades I get in the class) yet be so unsure and melancholy of it myself...</p>
<p>How do you picture yourself 20 years from now? Not neccesarily what job you see yourself having, but the sort of life situation you plan on being in (having a big family, being a world traveler, etc). Work backwards from there.</p>
<p>Right now it sounds best if you stick to chemistry until you figure out what you really want. You’re doing well in it and any switches you make without being as sure as you can about them will actually end up limiting your options because you’ll have wasted more money.</p>
<p>It also seems like you didn’t give film much of a chance before deciding it wasn’t for you. If the school you’re in now doesn’t offer film classes, try finding a book or two on filmmaking. Do your research before you chuck the idea entirely. And if bringing events to life is your thing, you might also consider animation and creative writing.</p>
<p>I know exactly how you feel. I started out as a philosophy major, but decided it wasn’t practical. Then I took a biology class and really enjoyed it. I thought I might like working in genetics, but after a few more biology classes I lost interest. I tried geology, love it, but still don’t feel like it is right for me.</p>
<p>Now I am looking at math because all of this time math has been the one class that I have consistently enjoyed and done well in.</p>
<p>Don’t drop out. I speak as someone who didn’t go to college after high school. I spent a decade “enjoying” the freedom of the world, living paycheck to paycheck, breaking my back in warehouses, being ordered around idiots, etc.</p>
<p>Have there been any classes that you’ve really loved? If you are looking for something creative maybe software engineering. It takes a lot of math. It sounds like you have math anxiety. Does your school offer seminars or counselling for people who are intimidated by math? You may find that if you relax math will come to you.</p>
<p>Wow… I feel the EXACT same way. You’re not alone. </p>
<p>While I do not have much to offer in terms of advice, I agree with ThatPoshGirl that you should not drop out of school.</p>
<p>First of all, don’t give up! You have to realize that most people go through this process in their life. The important aspect right now is that you care about your future, and this is a VERY good thing. Plus, you still have so many years of life ahead of you, so this is not the time to totally panic. Just relax and approach your options in a positive manner. </p>
<p>The main thing you are probably missing out on is the PRACTICAL applications of your interests. Unless you’re dead set on being a professor or a theoretical person, you will find the practical applications of your interests a lot more interesting. Remember that 99% of people will prefer building a bridge compared to analyzing the physics behind the bridge. So what should you do? Go have a talk with one of your chemistry professors about practical applications. Talk about research opportunities you can be involved in; talk about job opportunities; in fact, talk about your situation with the professor because the professor might have been in your shoes years earlier. If this doesn’t work, go talk to a guidance counselor or even a graduate student. </p>
<p>I think that you are approaching your classes in the wrong perspective. A huge portion of whether you like the class or not depends on the classroom atmosphere—the professor, the students etc. If you do not like the class, try talking with the professor or enroll in a different class. Remember that you will not use all (and probably many) of the topics covered in your math and physics classes. Also remember that many careers in chemistry have little to do with physics and intense math. Try to take note of what specific topic you like now so you can further study them in the future. </p>
<p>From your tone and the way you presented your situation, my hunch is that you don’t have much support from friends and professors. This is crucial. If my hunch is correct, try to find a sport you like and contact people who organize these sports (whether intramural or not). This also brings up the fact that exercise is crucial to happiness. Try to find some support and relieve all the stress you have right now, and you might have new insights later.</p>